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With the first there were children and a once happy past…
So hard to compete and make a second one last.
The first gave him things the second could never give….
The children - a legacy that forever will live.
The second saw the pictures and markings of time….
Of the relationship that once had rhythm and rhyme.
But even after the melody has faded away….
The first won't let him sing a new song today.
I recently blogged about DH putting SD21 back on our health insurance plan (thanks to the new obama rules). She is eligible to be on our insurance until the age of 26. So we have another 5 years of this to go through.
I'm trying to figure out a process of handling her bills that come to our home.
The insurance began on May 1, and she has already been to the doctor twice (hypochondriac like BM). She's perfectly healthy but has to invent new ailments to gain sympathy votes. But that's another blog altogether.
Next week makes 6 years that I have been with my fiance and I have known his kids just as long. Well now that the BM doesn't know how to grow up and let go I have to take a step back until she calms down. I am starting to feel left out because for one her fiance doesn't have to step back anywhere and he gets to enjoy the family life and the kids and I have to once again wait. It isn't like I am a new person in their lives so why do I have to. Unfortunately there isn't much I can do but to step back and let things pan out the way they are supposed to.
I found that when I started writing more today that somethings seem like babble as you actually dont understand the dynamics of what I walked into. So I am going to try to explain a little better....
I ended things with my BF. After much soul searching it became clear this this is the right thing for me to do...and also the right thing for him. He has a lot of stuff to deal with in his own life and maybe he'll be better able to deal with things without the pressure of our relationship weighing on him. He's admitted that he cannot give me what I want right now so I should listen to him. I've been trying very hard to be happy with what he can give me but I am not happy and have been unhappy for a long time. Right or wrong, I just didn't want to fight anymore with him and I'm exhausted.
Seriously, SD hears nothing but how great she is from BM, from BM's mom, often from DH.
We attended a sporting event for SD and when the game was over I hear BM telling her "You did great, you were soooo great, I'm so proud of you, you worked really really hard today, don't you let anyone ever tell you anything else". I was like, really??? she played, she played well, she gave appropriate effort but nothing over the top, even a few things that DH offered some constructive critism for.
I posted this on another site..... just thought I'd share
So stepdaughter (9 years old) has basically "won". I no longer want to be in my own home any more. I avoid it like the plague. I go to work early. And I work out at the gym in the evenings so that I can not only releive stress, but get home late.
Being at home right now is sooooooo stressful. My evil little stepdaughter has made my life a living hell. She is constantly looking for ways to make me feel miserable. Last night, she purposely made me upset and then smiled a really big smile of joy when she saw that I was angry.
You guys might remember my headlice post from a couple of weeks ago. BM sent the kids to our house, they had headlice, she said she knew about it but didnt treat it. We treated it twice, just like the directions say. We are totally confident that they were gone when school let out.
I felt like a complete slacker yesterday for not having chosen and attached an avatar to my blogs.
So I chose the fortune teller. Why? Because I can predict, yes PREDICT, every move that SD will make even before she makes it. I can SEE the outcome of her decisions even before it comes to fruition. I KNOW what is swirling around in her head even before she says it. I can FEEL the negativity ooze from her pores. Yes, the fortune teller fits perfectly.