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AlexandraL's Blog

From both sides now -- it's just not worth it

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I have been the SM, and I am a BM. I haven't been on here in quite a while but I've been harassed and threatened lately by my exH and his wife -- long story, not worth getting into -- the fact of the matter is that one set of rules/expectations apply to my exH and his wife and another for me. I really have no respect for my exH or his choice in a wife...who would marry someone who says they don't want kids, don't want their spouse's kids around, is openly hostile to the children. What would happen if God forbid I ever died?

Need help with my own stepmother and dad...

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My dad and SM are coming to visit my kids and me today. I am not looking forward to it. My dad has been remarried almost 20 years now (my parents were divorced and my mom passed away when I was a teenager). My mom was an alcoholic and had many issues that made it difficult for me to have the kind of relationship a teenage girl needs. After she died, I had no other older female motherly type to go to and essentially navigated my early twenties without any sage female advice. I suppose my childhood and the loss of my mom was a big factor in my getting married at 20 while still in college.

Omg, here is another match that came through...

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The guy's name is "Daddy(his name)" Gotta love that! Dead giveaway!

This photo doesn't include kids, thank God, but he's standing in front of a fridge with kid pics all over it. Poor grammar too...did he type this profile on his phone while he was waiting for his kids or something?

Reading between the lines: real guilt daddy profile on

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I got a free weekend membership to Match and looked around...this is a real profile that was identified as a match for me (NOT!) He's an attractive man, educated, good salary but first off, his profile picture is with his two daughters (sirens going off -- emergency!) and his profile is priceless!

touching base=sending a picture of SD?

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I have been broken up from my exbf for four months, we have had several breakups before the final one and spent most of the last year and a half apart, not even talking. So, I consider us broken up for longer than four months. Although the situation with SD, BM, and MIL drove me to end things (and exbf's handling of their drama and other personality characteristics that I eventually found unattractive)I still think he is a good person and care about him. I sent him a one line email just to say hi and see how he was doing.

Names...tell me what you think

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Do you think it is odd for a BM to remarry and keep her exH's last name and add the new husband's name? In this case, the BM got knocked up by her first husband and most of why she got married was so the daughter could have the same last name. Now, the BM remarries and keeps her ex's last name plus her husband's? I'm guessing it is mostly to keep her daughter happy, since BM's and her exH are willing to do things for this girl at their new relationship's expense, but I tell you what, if I was her new husband I'd be pissed.

Red flags were a waving but now I know better!!!

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Well, I went out for a drink/date with one of my dearest friends' coworkers last night. Very nice guy, accomplished, down-to-earth, not fixated on his two daughters (ok, just two daughters set a flag waving) but soon into the convo (we're talking first ten minutes here) he tells me he was woken by a knock on his door first thing...and he is getting summoned to court by his ex wife for more CS.

I played it cool and didn't say too much -- he went on to say he has a "crazy ex wife with mental health issues".

Lifelong alimony in MA...

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Anyone read this/hear about this?

Honestly, even if you were pissed about your divorce, how could anyone accept lifelong alimony? I had the option of having alimony and declined it, but I was not divorced in MA, I just live in MA. I hope the laws around alimony changes.

Who's ready for something better?

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Without details that are too personal, the past week has been one of the shittiest weeks in a long time for me. I have continued to stay away from my exbf, despite the extreme amount of stress I've been under and the vulnerability it has caused me. He's contacted me, tried to lure me with gifts...but I've managed to hold my ground.

I just want to know who else is ready to yell out a window like in Network and say, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore?" Seriously, there has GOT to be something better out there for 99% of us.

have you ever told your partner you dislike their child and one other question...

AlexandraL's picture your partner overprotective of their children? And if they are overprotective, are they overprotective of an only child?

Just curious and trying to make peace with what I went through so I can move on and prevent a similar situation in the future. Thanks.