I'd like to get some advice/thoughts from all of you out there. I'm getting married to a man in 2 1/2 weeks. We've been dating for 7 years and living together for 3. We share the house with my 9 yr old daughter. He has a 19 yr old attending college who lives with her mom. My daughter hasn't seen her father (his choice) in about 1 1/2 years. Last year on Father's Day, my BF spent the entire day at an amusement park with his daughter and mine spent it with me. I felt really bad for her so I asked BF if, from now on, he could include her in Father's Day activities and he agreed.

I got a new attitude....

and several other happy little songs. Rather than continuing to fuss at BF for not taking matters into his own hands with BM, or waiting on BM to do what she needs to do, I've decided to change my approach. I will calmly, quietly, and respectfully make my requests of him, give him a reasonable amount of time to deal with it with BM, and then if he doesn't, I will do so myself. (I'm referring to boundary and respect matters, not matters with the kids.) And I made my first step this morning.

Loca Grande! That woman is so unbelievable! I am sorry my skids have to call her mom...

To update- on Mother's Day weekend, the skids were at her house. Princess 18, being the only girl, has her own room, and was doing some cleaning. She found a stash of pot under her bed. Knowing it wasn't hers, she confronted her mother. Loca Grande denied to at first, but finally fessed up that, yea, when she's thinking about how sh$&&y her life has become, she sits in Princess's room and smokes pot... Nice.

I don't think "putting your marriage first" means dismissing children's needs...99.9% of the parents consider how a decision will affect their children, whether SKs or bios?

I wasn't suggesting that the kids shouldn't be a factor in the decision making process...I feel they should but there's going to be resentment when a child becomes THE factor and that decisions will be made based on how it affects that child. I feel the kids should be a consideration but not THE deciding factor.