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Recent Blog Posts
When you have a crazy BM who has poured her poisonous crazy goo all over her kids, can you ever 100% free yourself of the toxic fumes?
SD has apparently been whining to DH about driving 8-9 hours to watch 4 yo OGS play baseball next month. I normally don't give a crap about DH visiting; he doesn't go that often. But SD has 4 kids in her house, three under the age of 5, and she is anti-vax. And there's the measles outbreak in TX (apparently has spread to NM now). (SD is not in either state.)
This was a loooooonnnnng week with SS14. We had winter weather that closed schools from Tuesday afternoon onward, which meant he was here in the house nonstop for days. (Hopefully DH can find something to send him to do this summer.)
He continues to sneak food up to his room, then lie about it. It's particularly annoying because if he'd just ask to have a snack, the answer would be yes. And if he'd obey the rules and show some responsibility, we would let him have food up there.
Believe them the first time. Almost 4 months SS20 has been living with us. He did eventually get a seasonal position at a retail store, but after 3 weeks, they stopped giving him shifts. This was December, so he had been living with us for about a month before he was able to get that position. DH was also given a great contract, so he's been working, and it's been a help, but it also feels like because he's working, he's not making it a priority on a daily basis to see what SS is up to.
Rumplestiltskin called it what it is: Sister Wives.
Unfortunately, I know this well, because that is the situation the BM here wanted, all under the pretense of "what's best for the kids." When we put a stop to the nonsense, I was the one to be forever blamed for destroying "what's best for the kids." <EYEROLL>
The wanna-be sister wife warnings (feel free to add your own; it might save someone):
BM's and SO's post-divorce enmeshment
And I don’t mean stepkid boundaries, I mean DHs ex!!!
DH and ex were together 12 years, never married, a wedding kept getting called off because of ex cheating. They split when SD8 was around 2yo.
There are no normal boundaries between them. It’s driving me up the wall. Especially now we have baby son and I don’t want him involved in all the codependent weirdness. There definitely isn’t anything *going on* between them but it’s just not right.
So quick recap: SS18 is in college across the country- he has a gf in our state who is a Jr in HS, and they are obsessed with each other. They have had sex, her parents are religious and don't know. This wknd SD15 (temporarily retiring her Demon nickname as she has been consistently normal and decent for a few months now) told us that SS's gf's parents love SS because he told them they are waiting until marriage to have sex. So, he straight up lied to their faces when they talked to him about sex, because they were worried that SS and their daughter were having sex in their house.
My SS 13 is going through a phase... basically he doesn't want to be at our house and when he's here he's in his room the entire time unless there's food.
He got in trouble at school and has to go to one of those continuation schools for a month... basically he was caught smoking weed in the bathroom and they told his BM it was either that or Juvie... because he gets in fights ALOT
First post... I've been reading through other posts here and suddenly feel like I'm not losing the plot!!!
So it's been a while since I've posted. I also delete my previous posts so just a quick recap for context.
SD10 and SS12 have been changed to coming to ours every second weekend which has been such a relief for both DH and myself, and for them too. We have moved so that was the main reason but DH is also FIFO so we can't have them more than 50/50.
Lately, I feel like I am at my breaking point. We have been in this high conflict arrangement with BM for almost 13 years now. While I have mostly disengaged from the day to day crap, I can't disengage from things that impact our household's plans, time, and finances. It seems like the more DH drops rope and just lets BM do whatever she wants (since the CO allows her to anyway), the more she increases shared expenses and conflict/communication to almost maintain DH's attention. BM constantly claims that she "doesn't like arguing" yet she keeps pushing constantly.
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