So SS24 and SS18 just called DH to ask what his thoughts are surrounding polygamy. I overheard DH go into this elaborate explanation of "if a man can afford it, and the women are accepting, then it's okay".
For some reason, it annoyed me. I felt as though DH has no background/experience in that arena, so he should have spoken to them from what he DOES know, which to me should have been "IDK much about that lifestyle, but what I CAN share is that I did xyz in the past which made me unhappy and I did xyz now, and I'm okay".
Ss24 is currently on leave for work and is due to return mid December. He apparently didn’t set up his paperwork in advance so he reached out last month to ask me to borrow a couple of hundred dollars while he waited for his leave checks to be approved.
To me, that would have meant 200 but I sent him 300. Mind you, I had lent him my vehicle during the summer and he accrued many tickets, and paid them all except for 2, which totaled 180. He said he paid for them but knowing him, he just didn’t have the money and didn’t pay.
For drug possession and "minor infractions".
My tenant reached out yesterday, said she signed for a package. The package consisted of 2 papers from the trade program.
First paper states SS18 is being let go for 1 count drug possession, 1 count minor infractions.
The other paper is a blank paper, titled “right to appeal”.
So it looks like he even blew it at jobcorp.
I’ve dreamed of freeing myself of my stepsons for at least 8 years.
My original plan was to wait until Ss18 finished high school. 11 years I waited until the younger of the 2 was 18 and I would no longer feel obligated to do for them. I hoped Ss18 would change, that he’d respect house rules and function like a family. This was the only way I would have accepted DH dumping him on me to go on the road. Ss knew it and so did DH.
It took 4 months, but SS18 was asked to leave jobcorp so they can “reevaluate” if he is a good fit. DH picked me up from work yesterday and I could see something was off. He told me the counselor called and told him that SS18 isn’t necessarily “bad”, he just does things they are afraid other students may want to copy. They need to run the program a certain way and he can’t follow the rules. Exactly the issue I had with him, and the issues that will continue to happen to him. He thinks he is above following rules.
I finally got an apartment. Very tiny studio, perfect for myself and my daughter. SS23 had his baby last month, and true to form, has already asked to borrow money. I loaned him some, and I did it because if I know him as well as I do, he will avoid calling so as to avoid paying it. Buys me some time from his presence. Not sure why he still can't save, though he is on a leave, and should be getting FMLA, but according to him, they "spent it all" in the past month.
But I miss SS18. Something must be wrong with me. Not sure why, maybe I do love the kid. But I miss him? I definitely didn't feel this way about SS23.
I threw SS23 his gender reveal party. It was a lot of work, considering I'm working and manage almost everything for DD8, but I wanted to help, seeing as I know BM is unable. It was a strange feeling to have people tell me "You must be so excited!", or "how exciting, right?". These were people who were there for SS's gf, and I don't believe there was malice behind it, I would attribute this more to ignorance. I'm wondering what the equivalent would be for stepmothers. For example, if someone were to ask stepchildren how excited they are to have a new...idk stepniece or stepnephew.
My birthday was last week. On that day, we received news SS18 was accepted to a jobcorp out of state, with his admission date being the 20th. I was excited and relieved but also apprehensive. Knowing SS18, I waited for something to happen for him to be unable to go. I even thought to myself that he was likely to get off the bus and run away possibly just to tell us he was kicked out.
I told DH to make sure he knows where SS is by checking his phone location, just to make sure he makes it to the state and stays there.
Why DH won't send SS18 to his country with his family. I'm trying to think about it and the only thing I can think of is that maybe he's ashamed?