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Baby #2, DH guilt and teens

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SS24 has another baby on the way. Not sure how they will get out of public housing now. I'm sure those boxing dreams are dead and done. I encourage DH to see them when he has free time and the last time he went, he said that he had to have a good talk with SS24 about their living conditions. Per DH, they live in a horrible mess, and SS24 is blaming it on his BM's father (who owns the apartment and lives with them all). I reminded DH that SS was always very dirty and lived in filth (see prior blogs). It was one of the many things I found difficult to live with about him.

SS24 dreams of Boxing again

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When SS24 was about 14, he developed an interest in boxing. I mentioned it in prior blogs. DH paid for his training and SS would go almost daily. He was good, but he wasn’t great. Had a couple of matches and then at 17/18 left the sport because he had a bad shoulder.According to one version of how he began smoking, SS says that someone at the boxing gym gave him some marijuana to help ease the pain of the shoulder injury. After he left boxing, he wanted to become a rapper/talent manager. 

over 4 dollars

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As it stands, we've been coexisting in our little studio for now. It's a little cramped since we didn't expect DH to get into a trucking accident so soon, but we're keeping busy.

Yesterday DH gets a call and being the place is so tiny, I could hear him speaking low. I went up to get something and to confirm if he was on the phone and he's there asking "how much is it for your card?" and then "okay, I'll send it now", then "Love you too". Won't make eye contact like a scared puppy. 

I wonder

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How it became normal to expect a person to take on someone's kids like their own and  not much else? For example, why don't people say, "oohh, he has a mom, you have love her like your own now" or "ooh he has siblings, you have to love them like your own"? 

And while we're at it, why doesn't anyone ever tell skids "ooh, dad has a new partner, you have to love her like your mom!"?

Feeling petty

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We're out having dinner and DH talks about a new electronic stroller that's out now. He says he wishes he was working so he could buy his grandson (5 months old) the stroller. In my head I'm thinking that maybe he should want to start working so he can do things for me and DD9, and then I feel bad for thinking that. 

BM is dead

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So I get a call sometime last week from an out of state medical examiner's office, asking if I knew BM. I returned the call and stated my relationship to her, and asked if she was okay. They then said no, she was found deceased on my daughter's birthday. No one knows why she left town, remember that she had mental illness. Apparently she went to ask SS24 for some money to leave the state to look at a lot. 

DH was shocked, and he had to be the one to tell his kids. My heart goes out to SS18, he will turn 19 right before they cremate BM. 

Stepmoms at risk for violence (trigger warning!)

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Just read a story on a young woman named Hanoi Peralta, 33 years old and stabbed to death. I initially read that she was murdered by her son, but after doing some digging, it was actually her stepson (media accounts are incorrect). The 19 year old murdered his dad, stepmom and 5 year old brother. 


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So SS24 and SS18 just called DH to ask what his thoughts are surrounding polygamy. I overheard DH go into this elaborate explanation of "if a man can afford it, and the women are accepting, then it's okay". 

For some reason, it annoyed me. I felt as though DH has no background/experience in that arena, so he should have spoken to them from what he DOES know, which to me should have been "IDK much about that lifestyle, but what I CAN share is that I did xyz in the past which made me unhappy and I did xyz now, and I'm okay". 

The Low Bar

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Ss24 is currently on leave for work and is due to return mid December. He apparently didn’t set up his paperwork in advance so he reached out last month to ask me to borrow a couple of hundred dollars while he waited for his leave checks to be approved. 

To me, that would have meant 200 but I sent him 300. Mind you, I had lent him my vehicle during the summer and he accrued many tickets, and paid them all except for 2, which totaled 180. He said he paid for them but knowing him, he just didn’t have the money and didn’t pay. 

Disciplinary Discharge

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For drug possession and "minor infractions". 

My tenant reached out yesterday, said she signed for a package. The package consisted of 2 papers from the trade program. 

First paper states SS18 is being let go for 1 count drug possession, 1 count minor infractions.

The other paper is a blank paper, titled “right to appeal”. 

So it looks like he even blew it at jobcorp.