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Lalena75's Blog

Is it an empty nest if I still have ss

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My DH has sole custody, BM is a train wreak (but according to her since she has her other 2 kids by the other 2 dads shes not a baby momma) she doesn't provide for ss at all, no job, no license no car and lives with whoever she hasn't pissed off this week. (16 moves in 4 years, 3 in the last 2 months). I am a very hands off SM, he is not my kid, he has 2 parents (even if one sucks). I make sure he has food, clothes roof over his head, medical care and counseling.

And just like that

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DH, realized he was letting his son down. We had just had a discussion on the whole situation of not letting BM have anymore overnights (he had already agreed to let her keep him Christmas break) after the break till she gets her shit in gear and he told her if her husband laid a hand or any other object on thier son as punishment or out of anger she would be back to supervised visits.

Long read, many changes

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So to try and make a long story short, since I last blogged FH is now DH as of may, been together 3 yrs, he has sole custody of SS10 (vague custody wording "father had sole custody with mother having visitation at fathers discretion" long story behind that) BM has moved 14 times in 3 yrs, in aug with 24 hr notice took her other 2 kids and husband and move 3 states away for a month till they had cars repossessed. She's only had a job for 6 months ever (ended last june) her DH works cash under the table. She doesn't financially help with SS and no CO for CS or insurance.



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It's been a long time since I've posted as my life has been pretty smooth and I have little issues with my bf's son he's a great dad and parents wonderfully. My issue is my own kid. Lately (since his dad moved 2 states away really) but much worse the past 4 mo my son has become a jerk! He's 14, last semester he failed all his core classes he would lie about homework and his teacher were not very supportive of devising a way I could be informed about homework (they are still not the best but I went to his councilor and got some support now he's only failing math)

I'm baaack

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Though not really for typical SM reasons because I'm not even sure how that is going except it just goes. After the break up and firm removal from my life my ex SO, I moved on vowing to be D.O.N.E. with relationships in general, except well life had a far different plan. The weekend after exSO moved out I had a study group thing I went to and told them I was officially single and glad. The next thing I know I'm informed by a friend of mine and study partner that "No your not, there is no way I'm letting you be single, dinner tonight after studying and your taken."

I've stepped away because I can

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If you have read my previous blogs you'll understand. SO is gone he finally left once he realized that telling me "no" in regards to my demand he take his children and gtfo wasn't going to work. He while I was gone studying packed and took all his and his kids clothes after his kids went back to BM's. He left all their toys and coloring books, and shoes! I'll be packing them and dropping them at BM's as when I sent him a message because his sons school called my to get him as he was again being kicked out and they could reach the parents.

Sorting it out

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I've been quiet lately, probably because I knew what was happening. I tried I did, but my heart hasn't been in this relationship for sometime and I want out.
It wasn't BM, or SO's kids. The kids have improved greatly since their grandpa can't abuse them and we again called the police to give him a warning because he threatened to hurt the kids. BM moved out of her parents house (only a house away but it's something)
No the nail in the coffin is the bullying.

Okay I'll just cry now.

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I get a call last night just as I'm leaving work, my exh. He sounds off, I can hear him shivering he asks if I still have an old coat of his our son had been given and can I bring it down to the end of the street to him. I told him I was at work, just leaving and we still had it he could call our dd she was home , is everything okay but he'd already hung up.
I start out of work and my SO send me a pic with the message "*exh's name's house is on fire, you dd went down there with a coat for him"

Madness, madness everywhere

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So we had SO's jealousy earlier this weekend that was a joy and I had a little panic about it in trying to handle it. I remembered who I am and stood my ground after the "you waited 13 years to follow your dreams you can wait a little longer" comment (his kids are 6 and 7, mine 18 and stb13) and I don't have to bend to any man. To add to this my exh decided to jump in and stir it up.


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I don't know what has pushed me to just the point of saying F it all and not just my relationship just everything. Right now the 2 big irritations? For 10 years first dd had it then ds the loft bed, it has drawers, shelves and a desk built in, my kids never broke any of it, 10 years. In 2 years, the skids have destroyed the ladder, and all the drawers liked jacked it all the F up.