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Okay I'll just cry now.

Lalena75's picture

I get a call last night just as I'm leaving work, my exh. He sounds off, I can hear him shivering he asks if I still have an old coat of his our son had been given and can I bring it down to the end of the street to him. I told him I was at work, just leaving and we still had it he could call our dd she was home , is everything okay but he'd already hung up.
I start out of work and my SO send me a pic with the message "*exh's name's house is on fire, you dd went down there with a coat for him"
I raced there I didn't know if everyone was okay, where his gf was and her kid, the pets, my kids pets is everyone okay. I took another old hoodie of my ex's (I used it for years it was warm), and another jacket in case exh's gf and kid needed them.
The place in front of my ex's is gone, a blast nearly caught exh as they raced out before a propane tank blew up. My dd's vehicle (she has a car as well since the one at her dads doesn't work) took the blast saved her dads house. The neighbors lost everything, another neighbor was the one alerted them to the fire saved 6 lives. The pets are okay too.
The pictures my dad got (he's a photographer) and the neighbor from behind my ex shows how lucky they are, everyone says if they had been warned 10 seconds later 4 people (upstairs neighbors and exh who ran back to grab his laptop with all his pictures) would of been in the middle of the blast.
I told him if they needed anything let me know. My dd helped get a few things when they were allowed to but they still can't stay in exh's house right yet, my own dad gave exh's gf a hug and gave her some info on renters insurance and how to get the smoke smell out (he's also a retired firefighter)None of them had renters insurance. DD's truck will be a total loss and not insured (that's on her dad)
So why am I crying? #1 That's my kids other family and they came to close to being hurt or worse. #2 I'd of gone down to help a stranger with a coat, a drink, a hug, and offer of help it's part of who I am, It's why I went into medicine, and disaster response. I'd of put a coat on BM if her house was burning even.
But when I got home SO was in bed, pissy. I asked if he was made I went down there and got SO: "Yeah I am you dd had it under control."
Me "I wanted to make sure they were all okay didn't need anything I'd of done it for strangers hell I'd of done it for BM."
SO "I'd of pointed and laughed at her."
Me: "They don't deserve to lose everything like that, or nearly get seriously hurt, well except one person but still, what if your kids lost their other home"
SO: "I'd of got my kids and laughed at BM"
Me: "This is what I do, this is who I am I would do it for strangers so I'd definitely do it for my kids other family."
SO "I know and it's annoying, I would of liked a little time with my gf before I had to go to bed!"
Me : "So what I want to do with my life is annoying and less important?"
I just got out of bed. That really hurt.
I don't know how my exh's house is still standing almost untouched, the curtains should of caught fire when the window blew out. There was a whole lotta luck and a hero neighbor who saved them all just in time. My dd is still shaken up she was going to stay at her dads, exh's gf lost every heirloom and all the little nic knacks and stuff from when her daughter was little it was all in the storage room which is destroyed, so she's been in tears, but mostly over how close they all were to being hurt or trapped. I feel really bad for them and the upstairs neighbor who lost everything they owned

Comments

Failing Optimist's picture

I can't believe your dh behaved in that way when even your own dd could have been injured or your dd could have lost her father. Disgusting behaviour IMHO. I would let him sulk and give him some time to reflect on his selfish and pathetic actions.

Lalena75's picture

"First: I'm glad that everyone is OK. Second: Your SO is an ass." complete agreement from me. Looking at the pics from the fire I don't know how my ex's house didn't burn up, I don't know how they got so lucky, he was seriously shaken up when I went down there to check on them all, my dd made him sit in her car and got him something to drink, she said just after I went back to my house he started crying when no one could really see him

Gabriels Mom's picture

I don't understand why he's mad...and seriously I think it says a lot about him that he said he would laugh at BM. I don't care how horrible you are you don't deserve that. When BM had a miscarriage I sent DH up to the hospital to make sure she was okay. Why? Because that's SS's mom. No matter how despicable I think she is that's his mom and he'd be devastated if something happened to her. That's why he's scared all the time. He knows she's extremely unhealthy. I don't see how her heart is still pumping. She has to weight 300-400 pounds. She has COPD, she smokes 2packs a day and drinks energy drinks like you should drink water.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

It's very self-centered, too. Those people could have been hurt, people lost things and could have lost lives. And he's all butthurt over not getting to spend time with his GF before bed?! Yeesh.

My FDH is similar with GUBM - he wouldn't help her if she needed it and he longs for the day that she shuffles off this mortal coil. He never used to be like that, though. He used to just want her to disappear because of how hard it would be on SD. But now it seems all he cares about is how hard something is on himself.

QueenBeau's picture

That's heartless. Get this straight, I can't stand BM. Nobody in DH's family can. Her own family knows she's a mess. I think she is probably the worst person I've ever met in life.

However, SD7 lives with her 65% of the time. So if her house nearly burned down, i'd be shook up. I'd be thinking omg thank God SD wasn't there. I'd be sad she lost her childhood toys, her favorite blankets, etc. Thank God nobody was hurt. Because if BM got hurt or died, SD7 would be sad. & I don't want that for her. Or anybody!

moeilijk's picture

Wow, your SO is really insecure. It must be so tiring trying to 1. avoid setting him off, 2. calm him down, and 3. deal with his drama!

I'm so glad your kids and their other family is ok. That was really scary.

JustAgirl42's picture

Something this big makes all the other bullshit seem small.

Glad everyone, pets included, are o.k., and good on you for being supportive!

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Personally, if it were GUBM living on her own, without SD ever being in the house or so much as calling it 'home', I would not give two shits if her house burned down. Because then it would be just GUBM getting burned by life, so to speak (bad choice of words I think).

But, GUBM and FDH have 50/50 custody, so, that makes it a different situation for me. It's SD's home just as much as our place is SD's home. FDH probably would never go rushing to help GUBM, but, if he did in a situation like that, I wouldn't begrudge him that. And no matter how awful GUBM is, I never wish death on her like my FDH does. A) that's bad juju Dirol I've lost a parent when I was young, it sucks. And I won't ever wish that on anyone. FDH said that he wishes GUBM would die in counseling on Tuesday and I said "I don't. Because that's a whole new world of hurt and pain for SD that nobody deserves."

DaizyDuke's picture

I agree with you Hollow... if this was an SM posting about how DH ran to help BM everyone would be telling her to leave, saying DH was a disrespectful dickwad and he must still have feelings for BM, blah blah. I hate the double standards around here. And yes... everyone has their own way of dealing with things.

JustAgirl42's picture

I for one, and I think many other SMs here, would understand. We're not all that heartless! Smile

Shaman29's picture

I'm going to disagree with you on this one Hollow....I know...I know...Hug me anyway okay?? Smile

As much as I think Uberskank is the devil, she still has two young kids at home. If her apartment caught on fire, I would feel badly for her and her kids.

I want a house to fall on her but I don't want anything to happen that would put her kids in peril. The youngest two are already so screwed up, the thought of something so devastating happening to them is concerning to me.

H would help out only because of the kids. As much as I want to strangle him right now for other things, I would not get upset with him if he made sure they were all okay.

Lalena75's picture

Just to clarify, my first concern was for my kids, is their dad okay, is his gf and her kid okay, my second concern was does exh's gf and her kid have a place to go, I'd totally let them (not exh) stay in my home, and my dd knowing I'd do this had already offered her "sister" our house the coats I took were for the gf and her kid. My 3rd concern was the guy who saved their lives standing freezing with no jacket, and he got one and my stocking hat. My last concern was my kids pets, and working with my ex on what he wants to do regarding his weekend with our son.
I didn't stand there crying over the fire, My dd handled her dad for the most part. I'm crying this morning over what my SO said in relation to me running to help others (that is my JOB!It's what I've always wanted to do) and that it's annoying, that made me cry. SO had already sent me a text saying "I know he's an ass but I can't help but want to help them."
But then acts a douche.

Shaman29's picture

Sorry Lalena...I know that had to have hurt very badly. The shock of it all and your SO's complete lack of compassion and jealousy.

He sounds jealous of your compassion and ability to put past hurts behind you to help someone in needs.

You're pretty awesome.

misSTEP's picture

If BM's house burnt and she needed a coat, I would give her one because that's how I am.

And then I would go home and chuckle softly where the skids couldn't hear me of how karma came raining down on her ample ass.

If my DH would have to go help BM with something, I wouldn't be pissed because he doesn't make it a habit. He doesn't talk to her, email, text or anything. He would rather that he never have to think about her again! So, if he decided he needed to help her, she definitely needed help.

FTMandSM's picture

If BM's house burnt down. If she wasn't hurt too bad, I'd laugh at her. Karma is a bitch. I wouldn't give her a coat or anything. I'm remembering all the times she says that I have nothing, zero, nada, to do with her or her daughter. So, she could eat her words.