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Sorting it out

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Sun, 04/13/2014 - 11:42pm

I've been quiet lately, probably because I knew what was happening. I tried I did, but my heart hasn't been in this relationship for sometime and I want out.
It wasn't BM, or SO's kids. The kids have improved greatly since their grandpa can't abuse them and we again called the police to give him a warning because he threatened to hurt the kids. BM moved out of her parents house (only a house away but it's something)
No the nail in the coffin is the bullying.
Bullying my son. Several times I've told SO to back off let me parent my son, disengage, move alone and let me parent my own kid worry about your own.
What happens? He goes hands off if I'm not home, texts me with "issues", and "problems" with my son and says he'll "leave it to you to handle" But when I'm home the moment I open my moth to parent SO interrupts jumps his asshole mouth right on in there cutting me off! Then belittles him, and my ability to parent!
The last straw was today, I know my sons closet was a mess I looked at it Thursday when I hung up two shirts. Today bf brings it up that when he got some of his kids summer stuff down MY son had TRASHED his side of the closet and HE already made sure HIS KIDS cleaned their side. I send my son to clean it up SO follows and my son is like "I didn't do this! My clothes were NOT all over my closet like this, these were hung up, my hoodie was on my door even!" SO starts yelling and I tell him to go I'll handle it. I look and there is no way my son made that mess he hasn't been here I sent him to my ex rather than leave him alone with bf while I was gone most of the weekend, and I said so to SO, in fact I said. "I know for a fact where his hoodie was because I put it there, I saw his closet and he hasn't been here he did not do this which means YOU, or YOUR kids did this!" SO went on a tirade calling my son "your leper son" and "fine I'll let you handle it and be just as shitty and lazy a parent as his piece of shit dad!" and "Your calling me a liar over him!" I saw that closet I know where that hoodie was and I've suspected SO of sabotaging my son for a bit now.
I told him to take his kids and leave my house and he told me know, then went about acting like nothing happened.
I have no money my income is shit and I don't care he's out I'm done and I meant it. I'm giving him notice to remove himself from my property by Friday when his kids go back to BM. No one treats my kids like garbage, and says such horrible things to me or them fuck that I'm out. I'm more hurt and upset I didn't make him go the second time I told him to stop bullying my son.

Comments

moeilijk's picture

Submitted by moeilijk on Mon, 04/14/2014 - 12:38am

Holy sneaky bastard, Batman! If it was just the one time that you had reason to suspect your SO was setting your BS up, I'd say gather more information. But you have enough information. That, plus your SO's aggression to your kid, insecurity about you, and I think you're right to walk away.

usedup1's picture

Submitted by usedup1 on Mon, 04/14/2014 - 12:55am

You are very strong, resilient and have a lot of sense.
the more the spouse see's how well adjusted your kids are vs his kids, you would be miserable because he would constantly remind you of every minor thing your kids do. Only to make up for his lack of parenting, his horrible kids and his guilt. And those are the reasons so many adults have had therapy because of abusive stepdads.
he sounds like a bully you dont need in your life. He's too insecure.

StepLady's picture

Submitted by StepLady on Mon, 04/14/2014 - 1:21am

You are doing the right thing for you and your son, this guy sounds so creepy! My friend was married to a man like that, she had a son the same age as her one, they each got an expensive handheld video game system, his immediatly left his outside, it got wet, it was trashed. Husband wanted to either buy him a new one (No money for that) or to make her son share. She did not agree with that, went to bed, was woken up in the am, by her child crying, his system was in a bowl of water on the coffee table. Some people are so mean to kids and must be the boss, glad you are strong enough and doing well.

Cocoa's picture

Submitted by Cocoa on Mon, 04/14/2014 - 6:05am

good for you! if he won't leave, will you have to go through the legal process of evicting him??? this has always been a worry of mine if me and my dh ever split (house is mine).

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Mon, 04/14/2014 - 8:05am

The house is mine and we're not married thank goodness, I'm not afraid of him being physical to me or my kids, and I've put in place things to make sure my son is not here without his sister or I this week. I've already asked my ex if he'd like our son a day early for his weekend with will avoid the only long day he'd be here with him.
SO's kids go back to BM Friday and I'm going to sit him down and ask him to find somewhere else to live by Friday. Unfortunately he's lived here for almost 3 years I may have to formally evict him, or worse get an RO to keep him out, I don't want to get and RO unless it's true why I need one.