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Recent Blog Posts
The most horrible thing has happened and I dont know if i will be able to deal with it. My stepson has accused my son of some bad things (sexual) granted it was supposed to happen almost 4 years ago. I feel like my world has come crashing down- this happened about 6 months ago but it is destroying everyone i have only been married for almost 4 years. Now everything is falling apart-seen my step children in the store the turn and almost run from me- we have my son in counseling and was told probably a experient thing.
I have a question, because I don't want to overstep any boundaries with my boyfriend here. We've been together now for five months, and he shares custody of his almost 3 year old son, so we have him a lot. The thing is, my BF doesn't really dress his son very cute. And when we go out together people assume that I am his mother, and I feel self-conscious about this because I spend a lot of money on my clothes, shoes, bags, etc. because I can because I'm a single gal with nothing else to spend my money on. And then there's this little boy who kinda looks like a rag-a-muffin.
I don't know how clearly I can see these days, or if I even see the forest through the trees. I seem to be in a rough patch. I wrote a blog and then the electric went out and it didn't get posted so all my thoughts were for naught (2 days ago). And I am still having major problems with the unexplainable atopical dermatitis on my hands which is itchy and painful. I am so self-conscious and don' want to be seen with it. My husband hurt himself over the weekend and his lower back is messed up. So, I had that to contend with over the weekend plus the 3 dogs by myself.
Hey ladies -
I needed to chat with somebody and thought you'd be a good place to start. It's not really step parenting related. It's just life related.
I think I have a spending problem. I know I did in the past. But, I thought I had gotten it under control. Seems that new relationship with hubby and step daughter filled the gap for a long time. But now, hubby is really busy with building our house. I mean REALLY busy and I seem to be filling that down time with shopping.
Both of my stepsons, 19 & 16, made such an effort for me. One picked up some of my favorite food before he headed into work, and the other came home after work with roses for me.
My husband has had full custody of the boys for 14 years and I've been around for 13 of those years, married for 10. They call me Mom and I do love them so much. It did my heart good.
So you want to be a stepmother?
Excerpted from Games Divorced People Play, by Dr. Melvyn A. Berke and Joanne B. Grant.
"Surveys and research suggest the following:
"If the new parent is a stepmother, the probability of the marriage surviving and marital happiness are reduced.
"The role of the stepmother is considerably more difficult than of the stepfather.
"Stepmothers are less likely than stepfathers to achieve close ties with their stepchildren.
For the past 13 years both my husband and his ex have left the majority of the chlld rearing of their boys to me. I have been consistant in all of the rewards and punishments, what went for the older son would stand for the younger son.
I can't stand the biomom! She always wants to switch weekends and/or days that we have him. I don't understand why she does this all the time, does she do this to irritate us or break the cycle of letting us see my stepson? The schedule is so not steady. We only see him 8 times a month and yet she has to screw up the flow. I believe in seeing our stepson as scheduled and not break up the weekend because she wants to switch all the time. I already feel that we don't see him enough and then on top of that break the schedule flow. Has anyone been in this situation?
My husband and I had a really great talk last night and I think he finally sees things clearly now. It's been really hard getting him to see the big picture with regards to his son. He refused to even consider the fact that his son was one way with me and my kids and another way entirely when he was around. Not to mention finally getting him to see how jealous, bitter and resentful he is thanks to his mother.
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