Father's Day coming up, what to do?
Just thought I get your opinion on this. Father's day is coming up next month, it looks like stepson will be w/biomom that weekend. I wanted to take my husband w/kids to dinner for Father's day. I also wanted to include stepson to dinner, would you invite biomom to dinner too since stepson is going to be her that weekend? What would you do? I don't have a close relationship w/biomom, I just feel like if I invite her she might end up getting jealous and see that our life is good and what would the conversation be like? I don't know what to talk about with her? Need your input. On the other hand, I thought maybe it would be nice to show the kids that we all do can see each other.
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Fathers Day Plans
Dear Happy Mom,
I can throw out a couple of suggestions to you about Father's Day:
1. Usually, I can say from experience, your husband, probably isn't going to want to see his ex on Father's Day. He would love to see the kids, but not their Mom. Never, their Mom.
2. I had always made a point if the holiday didn't fall when our visitation was scheduled, to either
a. Plan our Father's Day celebration on a day when the kids were with us. (no infringement on biomom's time)
b. If you think you have a great relationship with biomom, then ask her if you can pick the kids up for a few hours on Fathers Day and bring them back at a designed time. She should understand that the day is for their Dad.
c. I, myself, would never, ever, invite my husband's ex, to share a meal with me. Yuck! If I even tried to do something like that, my husband would have me hauled away in a straight jacket! Indeed, really those kind of situations are just too awkward to even contemplate and you shouldn't even attempt it.
d. Keep us posted on what you decide to do and how it turns out.
Hope this helps.
Regards,
Sweetie
Thanks Sweetie...
You are too funny when you said you can't share a meal w/ex and your husband hauling you away in a straight jacket...hahahaha I'll see if I can plan a dinner before Father's Day when we do have stepson. I guess it will be an early father's day celebration. Now that I think about it, I don't think ex would let me p/u stepson, she just hogs him all the time. Thanks for your input. It's a bit disturbing that we can't have all of us together for the sake of the kids, the kids know that the adults don't get along and that's why they see the separation between each house. It's just sad that it ended up this way, husband and I can't see why ex to be fair and nice to us. So that we can have a relationship for the sake of the children.
Have an alternate day picked
In our family if we see a potential problem with family events we have a standing alternate date the following week. In our house it happens to be Tuesday night because thankfully all our schedules all have a lul that evening.
I also would take a pass on having biomom there. You never know if it will be a night of passive aggessive comments or something else. I coudn't see your husband enjoying that situation anyway.
Yikes-Even my Husband Agrees
Dear Happy Mom,
I told my husband about your potential diasterous Father's Day situation. He said "No Way would he ever want to see the ex on Father's Day!" There's probably a strong possibility your husband feels the same way. He also was laughing pretty hard about what I said about the straight jacket as knows I hit the nail on the head with that comment. There just isn't anything to talk about. It's a very strained situation and depending on how many times you are dragged back and forth into court by the ex for frivolous lawsuits, will determine how much animosity will be there. Generally, I can tell you from experience, there's usually a pretty good reason, when you move out of the state like we did to get some distance between you.
Hope that you make some fantastic plans for Father's Day! I'm sure it will come out great. You'll be on your own turf, your own time and you can control things so you should be just fine.
Regards,
Sweetie