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Francesca's Blog

Playing Games With Bm

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I find it sad that I now have to engage in the same games that BM does. Early on everyone told me to return SD in the clothes she came in. I scoffed. I'll never stoop to those games... I dress her nicely everyday anyway. I wash and fold BMs clothes and send them back in a backpack that we bought of course. Why would BM take care of her daughter? After many months of having our clothes returned balled up in a garbage bag and BM swearing at me over doll clothes in the bag, I made the that decision.

Psycho BM Strikes Again

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So last Monday SO goes to court. Supposed to be the last date, they only have to sign the custody and divorce decree. BMs attorney files a petition for BM to live in home which is currently occupied by renters and, you guessed it, SO to pay her mortgage. On top of her CS and maintenance. SO was just discharged in bankruptcy and house will foreclose. House was offered to her two court dates ago. Then yesterday she denies wanting house when SO hands her the mortgage balance to pay if she wants the house. Surprise.

Creating Effective Change with Psycho BMs

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Why don't we brainstorm and try to offer a few strategies for derailing the behavior of Psycho BMs.
Psycho BMs please do not reply...Or yet, maybe you'll give yourself away...

Assuming that most of them:

Have residential or legal custody

Live to make their EX and his SO/DW miserable

DH or SO is a wimp when he deals with the monster as he is afraid of losing his kids completely

PAS the children

Refuse to cooperate or be flexible

Don't work or try to keep their money while siphoning yours

Can't or Won't move on


Francesca's picture

I must say I am disappointed in many of the responses given to my previous post about my SO's divorce almost being over. My concerns are that he is not able to get custody of his 5 year old who is living with an unstable mother.

Those of you who defend a BM's maniacal behavior should really try to imagine if a man/husband did the things that these women do-in the name of being "hurt." He'd go from restraining orders to OOPs to jail and to limited/supervised visitation. In no way would he be able to keep residential custody.

Almost Over

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I haven't posted in a long time as I've barely had my head above water. My SO is almost divorced. We fought as long as we could but the money is running out. It seems that to prove a mother unfit you need a lot of money. We were almost at the point of hiring a custody evaluator until we were told he needed a 7k retainer. I looked for a lesser cost person (although that one had come highly recommended) and found several for 5k. Well, we simply don't have that kind of money. I asked SO's attorney to ask BM's attorney for a meeting. He said they will never agree. I said try anyway.

BM Finally Shows at Court-Brings Teen Boys

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Well, we almost had a default judgement against BM except she showed at court today and the judge gave her another chance. She has 28 days to file a response and has been ordered into mediation. She stormed into the courtroom escorted by the two teen boys. No lawyer. Her face was purple and her fists clenched. The judge asked her if she knew why she was there, that her husband was seeking a divorce. She was ordered into mediation, and ordered not to bring the children again or speak to them about the divorce (what an idea!!) She had huge envelopes with papers and who knows what.

Can You Predict a Psycho BM?

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I haven't posted in a while. SO filed for divorce in January. BM avoided service for three months. After service she filed an appearance in court. She did not respond to the petition or appear in court. SO's attorney has filed a motion for a default divorce. Hearing date is set.

This is a typical psycho BM who has sworn to never sign divorce papers yet she has put divorced on her Facebook page. She still tries to keep SO's children from him.

Million dollar question.

Will she appear this time?

BM Unable To Be Served

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Anyone have any experience in Illinois with a spouse who is unable to be served divorce?

BM has been hiding in the house and telling kids and mother not to open door.
Sheriff and special deputy have been attempting to serve for 8 weeks.

Now SO's lawyer must return to court to ask for another extension (alias summons). Each is good for 30 days.
She can be served by publication but that has no jurisdiction over custody of children. Lawyer does not recommend it. Any advice?

Maternal Deprivation Abuse

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Had to share this. I'm sure most of you are familiar with this but I was not. I also refer to the references to Parental Alienation Fraud.

Very interesting. Why do these BM's resort to this? Abuse is abuse but every divorcing husband cannot be an independently wealthy abuser who has left a poverty stricken, terrified BM.