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Creating Effective Change with Psycho BMs

Francesca's picture

Why don't we brainstorm and try to offer a few strategies for derailing the behavior of Psycho BMs.
Psycho BMs please do not reply...Or yet, maybe you'll give yourself away...

Assuming that most of them:

Have residential or legal custody

Live to make their EX and his SO/DW miserable

DH or SO is a wimp when he deals with the monster as he is afraid of losing his kids completely

PAS the children

Refuse to cooperate or be flexible

Don't work or try to keep their money while siphoning yours

Can't or Won't move on

Perform outstanding PSYCO BM tricks of great magnitude that should be in Cirque Du Soleil

How can we help each other to outwit them?


stepintexas's picture

First and foremost...Do not feed into their behaviors so you don't get their crazy amped up. That is the first strategy to outwit them!!

Call the cops on every harrasment, that always outwits them, it is the trump card!

BSgoinon's picture

There is no reasoning with crazy. That is why there are institutes for crazy people, and those lovely white jackets they get to wear. Unless you can contrain her and get her to a facility for help, she will likely be crazy forever.

hereiam's picture

BM tried getting my husband back (just BF at the time) by saying she needed him to come home and stay with the kids (1 his, 1 not) so she could check herself into a facility and get help. He actually thought it sounded plausible!

I told him, if she was serious there are outpatient services she could use, see what she does when you say "No". She didn't do a damn thing to get any "help". She just wanted an excuse to get him back in that house. That she kicked him out of. Three times. Dumb bitch.

TASHA1983's picture BF loathes his EW with a passion sooo.....when my BF added me to his phone plan we texted BM from MY new number that this number was BF's new number and we blocked her from his old number.

So in essence whenever she texts she obviously THINKS she is texting my BF but in reality she is texting ME!!! We set up the vmail to the automated number option that just says your number so she has NO CLUE that all of her texts/vmails go to ME.

My BF no longer has to deal with her or talk to her at all...which he LOVES!!! I forward the texts to my BF and he either tells me what to reply or tells me to write whatever the heck I want. He knows that I obviously would never text anything that could/would be used against him in court or with the police so we have been doing this for a few months now and it works like a charm }:)

just tired's picture

A contract with a hit man? wanted serious answers.

The only thing DH & I have found that works is NO CONTACT. Do not engage with BM for any reason. Of course, the skids in my situation are a bit older. But NO CONTACT is the only thing to keep BM from infecting our lives.

hereiam's picture

No contact is right. Even when SD was young, my husband had very little contact with BM. He just refused to listen to anything she had to say.

He also refused to give in to her when she threatened him with his visitation rights or anything else. Did it happen? Yep. Did he miss some visitation? Yep. But she found out her uterus was not as golden as she thought.

We sued her with contempt when we had cause, to let her know we would not just lie down, and we ignored her the rest of the time.

We never said anything bad about BM, just tried to show SD with our actions that what BM said about us was not true.

We never asked for time that wasn't ours so we never gave her the chance to not be flexible.

We kept emotions out of it (as far as she knew anyway, which was hard for DH at first as she could really get him going) and we treated the situation like a bad business deal. Thank God, the deal is now done.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Hmmm, well I say IGNORE however I am the most confrontational chic on Earth so with that said...I have done it all.
I punched her in the face once. Which caused me to get arrested, IMO it was well worth it.
I tell her every chance I get how much of a pathetic loser I think she is.
I tell her every chance I get what a POS mom she is.
When she would buy my SD bras, who at the time was like 7 y/o I'd throw them all away.
I delete her texts to my DH.
I delete her voicemails to my DH.
I have her number blocked from calling our home.
I won't let my DH spend any extra $$ on Skids for stuff BM asks for after CS.
And that's pretty much it I guess...

Francesca's picture

This is what I'm thinking. Any lawyers on here? The laws are horrible. Maybe we can team up with a fathers rights group.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

I punched her in the face once. Which caused me to get arrested, IMO it was well worth it

OH MY GOD this would be a dream come true!!! See my BM is a punk ass pussy bitch who couldn't fight her way out of a paper bag, add that to she is a gold digger and a vindictive spiteful twat waffle getting arrested would be the least of my problems. She would sue me for evey last hair on my head since I have nothing else, she would make sure that BF would NEVER see his boys again or at least not in our home. SMFH I wish she was the kind of person that would take her beating like a woman and be done with it!! Lmao, some days I wish I had a time machine so I could take her back in time and give her an old school beat down.

Unfreakingreal's picture

It was epic JustanothergurlNJ. I walked up to her door, rang her bell, asked her to please leave my DH (who at the time was just my BF) the fuck alone. And she replied "Please bitch I just fucked him!" And BAM, I punched her square in the face. We scrapped like two schoolyard teens and when it was all over she called the cops and had me arrested for assault. I didn't give a shit, seeing blood trickling down that JoeCamel face of hers made the damn misdemeanor worth it. She now knows that I have no issue with cracking her if she EVER tries to get stupid with me. Yes, maybe I shouldn't have done it, YES, it was immature, YES I could've handled it differently, but YES IT WAS WORTH IT!!!

amyburemt's picture

Don't respond to her. no reason to unless it's a complete emergency involving the kids. I do however dream of the day I can walk up and punch her in the face. I do not have so much as a parking ticket.