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Playing Games With Bm

Francesca's picture

I find it sad that I now have to engage in the same games that BM does. Early on everyone told me to return SD in the clothes she came in. I scoffed. I'll never stoop to those games... I dress her nicely everyday anyway. I wash and fold BMs clothes and send them back in a backpack that we bought of course. Why would BM take care of her daughter? After many months of having our clothes returned balled up in a garbage bag and BM swearing at me over doll clothes in the bag, I made the that decision. Even the psychologist told us to do that BM cannot criticize us or SDs clothes that we put on her making the girl feel bad. I told,myself surely she'll see the error of her ways and do what's right for SD. No go. So, there we are at the beach changing her back into BMS clothes and shoes that are too small. The typical BM shit. When SD tried to run back for another hug, BM screamed at her. No hug from BM! No kiss. She refused to look at me which is good but why the face when your daughter is returned? Why make kids feel bad? And we have to prove her unfit..... This system is extremely flawed.


borrowedtime83's picture

That is so sad that these BM's think it is ok to put their own children in clothing that is too small for them, with the expectation of getting free new clothes, or just not caring. I will readily admit that I have a plastic tote with "play clothes" and older socks and undies that I have my daughter choose out of before she goes to dad's house, but I would never put things on her that are too small or inappropriate to wear. It's sad that we can't let her wear something nice, because her dad and auntie and grandma have told her that her clothes are "ugly and gross," but I also don't have a separate income to provide clothing for her father to keep at his place.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Our BM is even BETTER. We went on a week long International vacation last week and took SD11 with us. Want to know what her mother sent her daughter with? A shopping bag with ONE skirt, ONE top, ONE panty, ONE bra, a deodorant, a comb and a hairtie.
For an entire week of vacation to another country.

Annanymous's picture

That doesn't scream "forcing you to purchase the kid a bunch of new clothes" or anything. UGH. Send her home in exactly what she was wearing.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Annanymous, I did just that. We have clothes for her at our house because like the BM the OP was talking about this bitch sends her kid in the most beat up scraps ever. So I washed her ONE outfit and that's what she wore to go home. Nice & simple.

Francesca's picture

It's a damn shame that they are so shameful. We keep a full wardrobe for 4 seasons including swimsuit, sandals, gym shoes, dress shoes, gloves, coats, raincoarts, sweaters, jeans, yoga type, fancy dresses, sun dresses, wool dresses, shall I go on? We have weather from 0 to

101 and all
Sorts of conditions. Never mind the occasion. I keep pressing the attorney to get it in the order for BM to provide clothes. He thinks it is a small item that will keep this going on. BM puts her in tattered clothes but can't account for the child support money and criticizes our clothes? She's dresses like a model as I go to the upscale resale. She's not getting new clothes or more money even if SD is naked. I think recipients of CS should provide receipts. I think men have been so discouraged they have not fought for their rights as I would have done if it were reversed. This BM lives with her mother and gets food stamps. All the money SO sends is gravy.
But again, why punish the kids.? There is a fundamental dynamic here that is completely unethical.

Unfreakingreal's picture

Buy a pair of flip flops in Old Navy for 2.00 and a pair of socks with toes, that he can wear home with the flip flops. Smile

Francesca's picture

Yes she was sent in a 2t coat when she wore s 5 or 6, We had already sent 3 coats but BM threw them away because I bought them. Andvwebhavevto prove her unfit. Isn't it obvious?

bulletproof's picture

I used to tell myself I wouldn't play BM's games either and the same kind of stuff happens to us that is happening to you. SS7 has rules on what he can wear back to BM's, unfortunately. So annoying!

herewegoagain's picture

Ahhh.The BS clothes games. I first bought clothes, were never returned...I also washed and neatly folded/ironed clothes before packing to crazy's house...we still got crap back. Then we bought just two cheap outfits and sent kid back home in what she came with. And then when the outfits we had were not good enough to go to a special event, we just didn't take her anymore. Too freaking bad.