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First off, I want to thank EVERYONE that weighed in on this one. I realize that is it a very touchy subject. I appreciate the honesty you all set forth.
2nd. I am amazed at the manipulation we all face. Whether it is the BM, the skids or the bio's. I hate feeling 'played'. To me that one of the worst feelings. Exspecially from someone you love and I love my Daughter.
I am going through an extremely hard time with my Ex and my current wife. My Ex is a freakin psyhco. She has the luxury of a free attorney, and all she wants to do is keep taking me back to court to try and break me and my new wife. New wife is an awesome step mother to my three children. She unfortunately is unable to have children. She is a rock to my children. Always listening and there for them when their BM is not. My three are Female 12, Female 10, and Male 8. I am going back to court again March 30 because now she wants child support again.
I met my other half about four years ago.. we were madly in love.. We both had kids, his lived out of state and mine well.. I have raised alone most of their lives. So blending two families was something I was really excited about. Having help around the house with the kids was fantastic. Mom can only be so many people rolled up into one and being a parent to four boys and one girl.. Well guys need guys to talk to about some things. I got to meet my other halfs kids, they came to my home during a bad time..
I can't begin to tell you how many times I have called BM's moves before she even makes them. And then DH looks at me like I am some sort of witch because I can "tell the future". Why is it that we KNOW what they are up to long before the big reveal?
Here's the most recent example-
I may look nosey, but I respect her privacy for the most part. I was just putting some laundry away and her dairy was laying open on her bed. It expressed her 'love' of getting high with her one friends and also with my neice. Being a single Mother for so long I have talked with her about drugs, sex and drinking and told her of my experiences. I can not throw stones.
I have been telling SS and my wife to call the tech school rep to explain the situation, maybe they can help somehow. They finally did and guess what, the rep said that if he sends a letter explaining why he cannot get a cosigner for his loan the school will underwrite the loan and consider it a hardship issue. This means that there is still a chance that he could go to school !!!!
I'm not sure what is involved or how it works but that is what my wife was told on the phone. I don't really care, as long as it gets this kid on the road to his own life it works for me.
I got some counseling of my own on this whole situation with SD and her not wanting to be at our house anymore.
Recently my therapist and I were talking about the divorce rate among second marriages, which you all know is very high. I think around 75% or something like that. anyway she was giving her take on why. She said think about it, in your first marriage, you make your spouse #1 in your life. Then you have kids, and your spouse is still #1 (that is if you want your marriage to make it- or at least you know your spouse should be #1). Anyway, she said then why do people (with kids) who are getting married for the second time - why won't they make their new spouse #1.
Can anyone tell me exactly what the rules are for child suport when their are children by two separate mothers and two different payments are made. 1st ex wife has two children with boyfriend and 2nd ex wife has one. So is it 25% of his income for the first 2 and then another 20% for the third one? The reason I am asking is the he is paying both moms the same amount and 1st ex wife has two kids. SD is 16 almost 17 so there is only another year and half to go until support is no longer paid on her.
Well, SS won't be going to school anytime soon. I had to fill out all the grant/loan paperwork for him because the wife said neither one of them understood it. I said no problem, but this is something that he should be doing, it's his responsibility. But in the interest of getting this ball rolling I said I would do it, nothing that complicated really, but anyway I did it.