How to stop the BS
I am going through an extremely hard time with my Ex and my current wife. My Ex is a freakin psyhco. She has the luxury of a free attorney, and all she wants to do is keep taking me back to court to try and break me and my new wife. New wife is an awesome step mother to my three children. She unfortunately is unable to have children. She is a rock to my children. Always listening and there for them when their BM is not. My three are Female 12, Female 10, and Male 8. I am going back to court again March 30 because now she wants child support again. The children live with us at least 50% of the year and this has changed a number of times becasue she can't do any thing for longer than a couple of months. Not to mention moving out of state and taking my children without me knowing. The court ordered her to bring them back and she did. Thank god. She moved all the way across town from me which was her decision, But now once again here we go back to court because now she wants to change the kids school again which she has done three times previously, because she has to drive to far to take them to school. This is ridiculous. This is also a huge strain on my new wife, because she cannot stand my ex, simply because she is jealous of what we have, and because my new wife is a success. My ex has had 22 jobs in 10 years time, as well as since our divorce she has had 7 new men in her life one she married for a month and divorced. What kind of mother would do that to her kids. My 10, and 8 year old want to live with us because of instability. They say they are not safe at the BM's house. I pay all the insurance premiums, per court order. she only has to pay 50% of medical and school expenses within 30 days of receiving the bill. I have waited 2 and 1/2 months for just 94.00. I got it but only after talks between Attorneys for the court case on the 30th and I told her attorney I was filing contempt charges. Ex is just trying to break me and new wife up by destroyuing what we have. New wife hates her and I feel inadvertently takes her anger out on me and the children. I am a divorcee child from my parents, and I try to explain to her what it's like and no luck we continue to fight over it. I don't want to be in that 70% statistc of second marriage failure. What do I do?
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Comments
You sound like a really nice guy.
Your new marriage will not be destroyed by your ex. Just keep telling your wife how much you love her and how thankful you are. Always make sure your wife comes first.
Next comes the kids. Do right by them. If they want to live with you and get out of the chaos. Then welcome them.
The ex can go screw herself. That is the beauty of divorce.
Sorry about all the court bullshit. What can I say, she is a bitch.
Best wishes. Jo
Yes I agree with
little jo, reassure your new wife how much she means to you all the time. It will reassure her of your love and devotion to her and things will go in the right direction. I hope things turn around for you. Is there a way that you can go after custody of the children. I would say that she is a little unstable. I moved with my kids a few times too. I am sure that was not the best thing for them but we are all ok. I would strongly try to get the kids with you and your wife now so they can start to have some normallsy though. Poor kids.
On the wife though its your responsibility here to make her the most important over ex wife. I say this because its not her baggage trying to cause all the issues its yours. SO I say that you need to as much as possible make your new wife who is unable to have children feel like your marriage even though you may not have children together is more satisfying and fullfilling as a whole..
Good luck..
Happy
" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..
Let her know you love her!
Don't just say it, show it. Repeatedly. Over and over again. Ad nauseum. I have a hubby just like you and let me tell you, when he's treating me wil love, respect, devotion and really opening up to me, then we do great and I'd walk through hell and back barefoot for him. When he gets angry and starts treating me like crap, I'd just as soon pack up his dismembered body and mail it back to his ex-wife.
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
You
crack me up..
I hear you though you are right on.. That is for sure.. If our men would hear what we say they would all have happier homes.. My hubby has been so wonderful lately.
Happy
" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..
Good for you, Happy!
I'm glad he's being good to you, especially now. You know, when I had my first miscarriage, I was so overwhelmed with grief that DH just had no idea what to do to help me. So he finally offered to let me wax his eyebrows. (Or rather, in between them.) I did it, he yelped in pain and I laughed so hard I thought I would pee my pants. It was just the bed medicine in the world. It's just too bad that they can be this way ALL of the time, huh?! I guess no everyone can be as perfect as us, huh, Happy?
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
you know what really did it
and I am not trying at all to be like conseded.. But when my sdad passed away he was from the same town I was so he knew and hung out with people I went to school with. I know how weird. But we had his viewing and a lot of people were eyeballing me as my husband said. he said he could see them looking at me.. And then the day of the funeral the dinner was at my mom's friends bar where my sdad was at after golfing and stuff.. anyways I was talking with alot of people there that I knew, and I think all the guys he said were checking me out did something to him. Like it sent this freaking signal to him that I am pretty and have a great personality and ever since he has been my knight.. He hugs and kisses on me and always tells me he loves me. I think in a way he knew and knows that I love him and there is noone that could break my love for him. but I think seeing all that made him realise that he does take me for granted. I do alot of things for him probably so much that you ladies on here would kick my ass.. LOL.. And I think all that just made him realise things. And I realised things too. I have started to treat everyone in my family with love even when they make me angry.. Because there isn't one person here who knows when they are being called home. I also want my husband to remember being completely happy with me. and if we are both trying to put more effort into our marriage it will be an awesome one..
Thats it I am out of air.. lOL
Happy
" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..
OMG
Anne, I did the same thing last week..I waxed ALL the unnecessary facial hair off my DH (nose, in between eyes) and I had a blast!!!!Also almost peed! But it was kind of sadistic because in my head I was thinking payback for buying the exwife that christmas gift (from the kids) w/o telling me...LOL ----And you are right... My DH called me today to say how happy he felt today and the truth is..When mama aint happy, aint nobody happy....and lately he's been paying attention to my feelings...and I've been happier...so that is the secret. Make us feel good you stupid men and then we'll make sure you feel good!!!