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Since the last blog that I posted I thought that things were getting better. I had finally gotten my wife to admit that my SS had a problem and that he needed to go live with his Dad for a while. His dad is a good man, but my wife doesn't like the fact that if the kid needs to get his ass beat, then he does. I think that it's what he needs myself. Anyway, we had decided at the end of the school year that he was going to go stay with his Dad until the end of next school year to see how things would go and see if he did better in school, etc.
So, my FH and his kids leave the cabinet doors open all the time and it pisses me off to no end! So I told them at dinner the other day when I found a cabinet door open that I'm going to open EVERY cabinet and drawer so they can close em all themselves....and so they can see how much it pisses me off. Well low and behold yesterday someone left a cabinet door open and I opened EVERY drawer and door in the kitchen.
FH ex-wife signed their son up for football without talking to FH. I'm pissed to every degree...he isn't saying anything to her about it.....not standing up to her about it...just letting it be. I told him that I will not be a part of it...so if his son is in our custody and has a practice or game and FH is at work or on a side job I will NOT BE TAKING HIM! If BM signed him up without discussing it then she can be responsible for taking him to his practices and games.
I'm being really honest and telling the truth... I pretend that I'm sick when the SKs are here. Especially when I know their dad is home with them. We seem to not agree on the way to raising them so I feel like he can just raise them the way he wants if I'm locked up in my room. Today he went to work for a couple hours and I was determined not to get up with his kids or take care of them because he's told me several times that they can take care of themselves. So I didn't come out of my bedroom today till my DF came home today.
I read with great empathy, and in most cases our own experiences as to the daily posts on StepTalk.org Special Thanks to the StepTalk.org team for the heart they have put into serving others.
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This morning, after a week with their BM, SD 10 and SD 7 came for their weekend visit. SD10, the one caught trying to sneak stuff out of our house, is grounded from TV, computer, or video games until tomorrow (we only have them until Monday morning, which is the first day of school). She accepted her punishment and took it like a champ; thinking that was the end of it. WELL, we were all out in the garage doing odds and ends when the SD's look up and see a police car park in front of our house. "Why are the police here?" says SD 7, SD 10 looses all color in her face at this point.
Had a breakthrough last week with future DH. Lot's of talk about our future, my feelings of frustration and resentment, and how we can arrange for equity in our household. Initially I was accuse of "wanting my cake and eating, too." as I outlined what I thought was a good plan to eliminate some of the responsibiity of the Skid's from me to DH and BM. Today, howver, I got a nice surprise. "You were right, honey, all we need is a break every once in awhile." I guess all the drama last week was worth it, if DH can now see that he doesn't have to be "super dad" for his kids to love him.
I know it's not true of everyone, so I don't want to offend anyone with a blanket statement. However, I can't help but wonder if a lot of these really overly unhealthy relationships broke up because of BM's psych disorder, and maybe often those disorders are genetic? I know for a fact that ss8's BM had problems and she died because they were never properly addressed. (See previous post for some of that story) I'm also convinced ss inherited them from her 1/2 nature and 1/2 nurture. He has severe...I mean severe ADHD, and I'm convinced ODD, maybe RAD.
Hello to all..I've been reading a lot of your posts and left a few comments, so I thought I should have my story out here for others, too. Thank God for this website. I've been feeling Sooooooo alone and evil! 
I wrote this originally in response to Sebbie's blog about the article and "emotional adultery". And while that article prompted me to write this, I didn't think it was correct to put it under that blog. I didn't want to take away from the article and what it could do for others.
But here's my take on a word that I see at LEAST 1x per day on this site..
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