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Telling SS about a new baby

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I'm almost 10 weeks and DH and I are waiting until our next ultrasound (in 3 weeks) to start telling people. This is our first child together. 

SS is 12, will be 13 when our baby is born. He has a 5 yo brother from his BM and a 5 yo cousin (SILs daughter). When his mom and DHs sister were pregnant, he seemed to get very clingy with BM and with FIL which we thought was pretty normal considering he had been an only child for so long and on DH's side he had been the only grandkid.



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I am by nature a planner and researcher so obviously when DH and I decided to have an ours baby (literally just this month), I started reading anything I could get my hands on now I feel like I'm overloaded with info and just stressing. It doesn't help that I haven't gotten my period this month and am hoping I'm pregnant even though I KNOW I'm not and so obviously more stressing.

Is this PAS or just sh*tty parenting?

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Quick recap, DH and BM have been going back and forth on CS for over a year now with no resolution in sight. DH's lawyer is an idiot and could have had this resolved a while ago but pretty much did nothing. BM pulled some numbers out of her ass for supposed back pay DH owes her and because our lawyer did NOTHING, it looks like we're going to have to pay. DH hired a new lawyer and and we're trying to see if there's a way out but as of now, I'm thinking we're f-ed.

How to talk about PAS?

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Quick recap: DH and BM have been arguing over CS since April/May-ish and BM has been keeping (and we think alienating) SS11 from us since September.  SIL, who lives in the same town as SS,is having a party this weekend and somehow got permission for SS to attend.  None of DH’s family has really been able to see or talk to SS since September either other than running into him or when MIL went to BM’s to see him but he refused to see or speak to her.

Do we just give in?

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Long story short, we have been going through a CS battle since April/May-ish -I can't even really remember at this point.  We live in Mexico so obviously laws are different, but the gist of it is that BM (who lives with her husband and SS11 in a small town about 5 hrs from DH and I) managed to get CS increased WITHOUT any say from DH.  The server "notified" DH through our previous lawyer (who filed CS and custody for us SEVEN years ago in the same courthouse) and now we're just pretty much going in circles trying to undo what's already been done.  DH's lawyer just keeps saying "don't worry

Finally able to talk to SS

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So apparently FIL was able to get SS11's cell phone a new battery, replace the SIM card and gave DH and I his new number on Sunday morning.  DH calls SS, gets no answer and then gets blocked.  DH calls FIL to make sure it's the right number and apparently while he was calling SS, FIL was on the landline talking to SS and heard GBM yell at SS for giving DH his new number.  He says SS got nervous and hung up the phone with him.  This woman is worse than BM, seriously.  So SS sends DH a message via instagram and they talk for a bit and DH mentions picking him up and taking him to buy new schoo