How to talk about PAS?
Quick recap: DH and BM have been arguing over CS since April/May-ish and BM has been keeping (and we think alienating) SS11 from us since September. SIL, who lives in the same town as SS,is having a party this weekend and somehow got permission for SS to attend. None of DH’s family has really been able to see or talk to SS since September either other than running into him or when MIL went to BM’s to see him but he refused to see or speak to her. Anyway, DH and I are going to see SS but I’m sort of freaking out that he may not want to see us or that if he does, everyone will just act like nothing happened -ALL of DH’s family are just terrible at communicating.
Obviously i don’t want to make SS feel bad or guilty about not talking to us but I feel like it’s also not OK to act like nothing happened. I’m a firm believer in not bringing kids into adult situations but if BM is already filling his head with things, shouldn’t we try to clear things up and tell him the truth? I’m so confused about everything and just so shocked by BM even allowing him to come to the party so obviously that makes me more anxious because i think she must have something up her sleeve. I feel like I’m just going in circles thinking all of this over in my mind.
And i KNOW this is DH’s job and he should be the one stressing over this but he’s just not a good communicator and I know if I leave it to him it will just get pushed under the rug and I will just spend the next month thinking about what would have happened if I had stepped in, so keeping out of it is just NOT an option for me. So please someone help, HOW do we talk to an 11 year old about PAS?
Sorry for any typos, I’m on my cell