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asshole in-laws and DH is finally seeing the light

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DH and I are having the church wedding and the big party at the beach in a couple of months. Well, we had to go this weekend to meet with the caterer and the florist and we didn't take SS. This is the third time we have gone to see wedding stuff and we have never taken SS. The first time, when we were barely looking at the locations, I asked DH to please not take SS because I had lined up interviews with about 10 hotels and we had pretty much one day.

DH just left

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And i have no idea where he went. We had a big fight yesterday about SS and me wanting a baby and he just left. He and I don't have that kind of relationship. We rarely fight and he knows that is unacceptable. We had a fight once before and he said he was going to his mother's for the night and I made it very clear that wasn't happening. I told him if he ever left like that he would leave for good. His parents are divorced and he pretty much learned from his father if there is a disagreement it is better to walk away.

Baby Blues

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My cousin had a baby in January and asked me to be his godmother. I have never been a kid person but he is the cutest, chubbiest, happiest little baby and I LOVE LOVE LOVE him!!! Since she got pregnant I started thinking about having a baby and when he was born I contracted baby fever. Bad.

I don't know if I can do this anymore

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I love my husband but I just don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life. It feels like a never ending roller coaster and I just want to get off. Some days are good and some days are bad and some days are just so awful I want to cry all day long. I am mad, so mad. I hate BM and I know she is only in my life because of SS (yes I am aware SS is not the problem, DH slept w her and SS just came out of it through no fault of his own). This is so NOT the way I envisioned my life and I just don't know.

one step forward and five steps back

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BM just texted DH asking if he could get SS tonight because she had to go out and her mother will be going out tomorrow and won't be able to do the drop off. So now DH is worried that if he says no she will say well then you wont get him then and this will be two weekends in a row she doesn't let us have him.

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