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BM had 2 kids from 2 previous marriages before her and DH married. The daughter is just like mommy-dearest. The son, from what I heard, was a good kid. His dad had primary custody so DH only saw him on school breaks since they were out of state. exSS's dad and SM were helpful to DH and I in the peak of court battles, etc.

Well, out of the blue last night exSS22 messaged DH and asked if DH still thought of him as a son. DH replied with "Yes, but why?". He said it was because DH had been on his mind a lot lately and he missed him. 

Advice- Posting as BM

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Some of you remember the drama between me and my ex over the summer. If you don't a quick recap: He has always been an active dad but out of state most of my kids lives. He just retired from the military and decided that at 41 he didn't want to work anymore and wanted me to drop CS significantly. When I didn't agree he tried to get DD13 (only DD not our son) to come live with him and offered her a few bribes which caused a lot of issues with me and DD. Thankfully things have calmed down and everything is back to normal. DD is no longer angry.

1 step forward 10 steps back

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My heart truly breaks for my husband. But then I want to kick him in the balls....

Quick recap on what is currently happening: CS has never been officially determined. 9 years now on temp orders. We are probably underpaying by about $100-150/month in all reality. DH makes a good living, BM probably makes around $15-17 per hour under the table. We have subpoenaed her bank statements and taxes to prove she works but she will not turn them over (Still don't know how that is possible). DH won't agree to a number until she turns over her financials (can't blame him). 

Big steps on DH letting go!

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DH had to make a decision on holiday leave- He decided not to take it. He will just work over the Christmas/New Years time, he is going to take Thanksgiving instead. 

He is going to apply to go to Iceland (OMG!!!) but if they won't let him leave the country because of COVID we are going to take a trip to Gatlinburg, TN- which I LOVE in the fall! Either way, I am a happy lady!!

SS21 - Poor guy

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SS21 is reaching the end of his welding training. He has it in his head that he is going to be able to go work for the Ship Yard when he is done. This kid can't even handle his 12 hrs working at a gas station cleaning up a coffee bar. He thinks he can work 40+ hrs a week doing actual manual labor and having to take orders with no job coach buffer? He also still can't drive so that is all just some fantasy that I am not looking forward to the fall out when he doesn't get hired. 

The Christmas Drama Begins

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Well, kind of. I am actually pretty proud of DH and myself.

DH asked me to double check his text to BM (he always does), he did good. It was simple and to the point :

BM, our son mentioned that he would rather spend the first half of Chirstmas break with us this year so that he doesn't miss basketball practice. I am fine with either half of winter break, just let me know what you would prefer soon as we are starting to look at plane tickets. 


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Some of you know that I had a very short 2nd marriage before DH. We met, married in 6 months and the marriage was over in 11 months. He was abusive and his son was the literal spawn of Satan.. His father being actual Satan. 

When I left I moved about 35 mins away to the town I grew up in and family lives in. He stayed in that house. ExH2's mom lives not far from us, but I haven't even run into her at a store or anything. However, since she is on more of a main road that I drive on often I have noticed exH2's trucks there. 

SS21 having some big feelings

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Sometimes it is really hard to talk to SS21. I have to remember that this "grown man" is still just a boy and I have to tailor my words for him.

With everything going on in Afghanistan, I guess he was watching the news. He is so upset! He is angry at the world watching terrorist "win". That isn't how it is supposed to be. He is talking about nuking the middle east and squashing  them all. He just keeps talking about killing the Taliban.

My one area of Not Disengaging

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As many of you know we have been fighting over CS and alimony forever. Years. No actual ruling has been made in... 7? 8 years? It was all on temp orders waiting for BM to turn over her financials. 

Based on the temp order, showing BM not making any money, DH overpaid Alimony by 5 months. Her attorney swears that DH still owes like 8 months.