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Well, my life is about to get interesting!

justmakingthebest's picture

I've posted before about DH going to Japan.

(For those that don't know me, DH is active duty for 24 yrs at this point. His ship is doing a home port change to Japan next year. Due to DD starting her jr. year of HS and SS23's autism and not being able to live on his own but also not being allowed to go, we decided that I would stay behind)

On a whim a few weeks ago, DH found an opening doing an inspector type job in San Diego (we are currently in VA). We found out this morning that it looks like he got the position! This is amazing because now SS23 would be able to move with us. DD, while she doesn't get to stay local no matter what she chooses, flights back and forth from CA to VA or MD (her dad) are HELLA cheaper and easier to work out. BS17 is graduating and basically we get him set up to move into college and the rest of us would head to CA.

So it looks like we will be moving to CA this summer! I am not looking forward to the CA part of all of this- cost of living alone makes me want to puke- but I get to stay with my husband!! 

Fingers crossed DD and her BF break up towards the middle to end of the school year and she makes the move without too much angst! Of course we will give her the choice of her dad's in MD or CA with us. Buuuutttt... Her dad is from SoCal and has been putting a lot of pressure on his wife to move back there lately according to my kids. Which makes this all even more interesting... She could go back to their last base (SM is still active duty too, exH is retired AD) and it would be closer than what we are now!


thinkthrice's picture

For military families.  They are often uprooted and have to have amazing coping skills!  In my case, Awesomeson is at top be deployed to the Middle East End of September until the end of April.  DIL and DGD will still be in Upstate New York.  I plan on helping out every Tuesday which I am looking forward to.

Kudos and hope everything goes to the more convenient plan!

advice.only2's picture

Welcome to CA, San Diego is a beautiful place to live and there is so much to do there.  Yes cost of living is high here, but at least he gets his BOQ to help alleviate that cost, also getting your daughter further away from her toxic father might be a good thing, too bad you can't do the same with your son. 

ESMOD's picture

Is there any chance to live on base in san diego?  just curious about that

Given the fact that you would be a lot more stressed holding down the fort if he went to Japan.. I think this is a better move.

justmakingthebest's picture

As long as there is open housing we will all be able to live on base, which will be a relief! So here's hoping we can get on the list ASAP! 

CLove's picture

Welcome to California!!!!

I lived in San Diego for college and stayed. Taught computer classes to the military folks there, just absolutely LOVED it.

Theres a lot of culture and diversity. You like ocean sports? You like art and history? You like interesting food? You like international travel? You like social people? You like fabulous weather all year round? Apple pie? 

San Diego is definitely expensive if you are renting or trying to buy. Its exactly the same thing up where I am in Central Coast.

Yay! We need more cool folks over here.


NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Super happy for you and your DH! I would be interested to see what your DD choses with all the tension with her relationship with her Dad right now. Either way, all of that will work itself out and your DH won't be in another country away from you!

la_dulce_vida's picture

So, is the San Diego job INSTEAD of going to Japan? That's great news, if that's the case.

justmakingthebest's picture


TheAccidentalSM's picture

If I was you I would do everything in my power to get DD to make the move to CA.  Her dad and SM would turn her into a babysitter for her last year of HS and then pack her off to basic training, if past is prolog.

Is it the same controlling BF from the cruise t-shirt incident?  Double reason to get DD the whole way across the country from him.


justmakingthebest's picture

Yeah, it is the same boyfriend... I have started letting him come back around starting last month. He has been very well behaved and apologized to me profusely. "I'm still learning to be a good man. You know my dad and stepdad are not good examples but I am trying my best to learn to be better than both of them"-- which I appreciate and as long as he doesn't mess up again! I did tell him next time he disrespects my daughter I will end their relationship and he said "yes, ma'am".

She would be miserable at her dad's house and she knows it. I don't think that is where she will choose.