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SS18 pregnancy update

justmakingthebest's picture

I didn't get back on over the weekend but I did read all your responses. I love this group so much!

GrannyD, her description: Scrawny, bad bleach job, very meth-trailer park vibes. Bullnose ring, slutty clothes, black eye makeup. Just trash. They both looked high as hell in the picture celebrating the beginning of 2nd trimester. 

I did get to talk to our attorney today. We were trying to decide if we needed to do an addendum to the whole having to pay for college thing since he won't likely finish now. I know some hard working and motivated people do make it through, babies having babies in college, but that isn't this kid. 

We are cutting funding for next semester. BM's attorney is being notified today and I get to call financial aid. Super excited for that phone call! I am such a B***h! 

They will know that we know, so the big secret is ruined. He will have to figure out financial aid fast too. We will pay the first semester of each year with confirmed attendance. However, the baby is due in April (I think I mathed that right) so the chances of him going back the next semester are slim to none if you ask me. This way, we are still only out 1/2 of his 1 year of college! 

On a sad note- DH is so devastated. It's just breaking my heart. 


AlmostGone834's picture

"Scrawny, bad bleach job, very meth-trailer park vibes. Bullnose ring, slutty clothes"

Good Lord, is he with Little Idiot? 

Yes yes yes! Cut that anchor!

justmakingthebest's picture

My son's friend thinks she is still in high school but we don't know anything for sure.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

TBH, if he has a kid, he might be eligible for more money in Pell grants. 

justmakingthebest's picture

He could be. But it certainly isn't his current100% tuition, books and $2200/mo living stipend.

Mominit's picture

Does his becoming a parent make him not eligible? Or are you just choosing to cut him off? Can BM come after you for it even though he is about to be a dad? Are you allowed to cut him off? I'd be delighted if you could, considering he has chosen no relationship with you guys at all.

justmakingthebest's picture

We have to pay for 1/2 so we are going to pay the 1st semester of each year. If he can't figure out the 2nd semester, that's on him. He's going to be a parent. He can figure it out.

advice.only2's picture

Oh to be a fly on that wall when BM’s attorney is notified, and he in turn notifies her.  I would love to see the exact look on her face as she realizes SS is not going to get the free ride to school she had hoped for and to use that money to help subsidize her new money train…err I mean grandbaby.

grannyd's picture

In fact, I'd pay for the privilege. Thanks so much, justmakingthebest, for the description; it was evocative enough that a photo was unnecessary. But then, you’ve always had a way with words.

Hon, these many years, I’ve been yearning for the teeniest taste of retribution from the Great Bitch and finally, with her abysmal parenting, she’s prepared us a feast!

Admittedly, I do empathize with your husband’s disappointment and grief yet, in the fullness of time, his son’s fatherhood might bring them closer. Must is a great master and, even if a closer relationship between father and son is based on SS’s moneygrubbing, the boy will be forced to mature and just might form a new appreciation for his dad.



Catmom024's picture

Does SS have a job?  Does the Trash Baby Momma have a job?  Does BM have a job?  Do they plan on having the taxpayers support them?  Welfare fraud enrages me.   My SO's son works driving heavy equipment and makes really good $$$.  He and his girlfriend (also total trash) live together but she gets welfare $$, WIC, medicaid for her to have babies (they're on their second kid), and their kids get medicaid. Meanwhile Trash Baby Momma is watching people's kids and getting paid in cash so she doesn't have to claim income.  Meanwhile my health insurance just went up 159% last year.   Because SOMEONE has to foot the bill.

MissK03's picture

My friends sister (who I've known since she was 8 I am also friends with their mom) gets $800 a month in food stamps for her two kids... she has a job but....she lives in a brand new 300k house, it's in her boyfriends name, some of his income is under the table.. (probably worth 400k now) she isn't married to her boyfriend.. so she gets the benefits. 

The people that truly need it seem to get denied when they are trying to do the right thing... not scam the system. This is a major problem in most of America.

I am sure Just makings SS and his baby momma will do this... while STILL trying to get money out of her DH. Disgusting. 

Catmom024's picture

Ugh!  You're right, the scammers ruin it for the people who truly need help.  I know someone who used the system to better herself, educate herself and has a phenomenal career now and thus has paid back into the system.  She didn't use the system as a lifestyle. 

SteppedOut's picture

It is a big problem...but usually the moment you bring it up you are: racist, classist, "should feel lucky you aren't less fortunate" or some such other similar to try to beat you back into silence.

Rags's picture

Or at least they were when the Spermidiots 4 all out of wedlock spawn by three different baby mamas were minors. My SS his eldest and our only.

Spermidiot was COd to provide medical insurance for SS. He never did.  So his CS was increased by the amount my company required to cover SS under my medical insurance. Until.... my DW finally dragged his ass back to court for a CS ammendment that resulted in CS increasing by $600%. Spermidiot declined receipt of multiple summons attempts by mail, and physically ran from the Constable serving him in person.  So, the DA issued the revised CS order raising CS from $133/mo to $785/mo.  That brought the SpermClan screaming back into court after Spermidiot got his first $0.00 paycheck after direct payroll withholding was implemented.

Once the revised order was upheld keeping CS at $785/mo for two years then dropping it to $385/mo once his arrears for refusing summons was paid.  

A few months after the CS order was upheld by the Admin Law Judge, the Spermidiot came running back to court with proof that he had covered SS under medical insurance.  The CO was supposed to be solid for 2yrs before either party could file for an ammendment unless there was a significant change in circumstance.  The SpermClan thought that finally providing medical insurance more than 8yrs after they were COd to provide it would lower their CS. Nope, the Judge ruled that the insurance provided was inadequate and that they would both retain their new coverage for SS and continue to pay the % of CS allocated for their failure to provide insurance.

The crying was extremely satisfying when the Judge made that ruling.

When a single teen mom/full time Uni student/working 3 jobs my then future DW did get WIC and subsidized day care benefits. No medical for SS as she and the baby were covered by her deceased father's VA medical insurance benefits until we married.

My tolerance for game players and people who scam the system rather than supporting themselves is less than zero.


justmakingthebest's picture

BM works. She just got away with lying in court.

We don't have a clue about SS or his BM. We haven't spoken to him in 2 years!

thinkthrice's picture

Of dysfunction continue but it would be almost predictable if  the midwestern baby mama had a falling our with SS, sued him for CS and cut off all contact.  HCGUBM 3:16.

I feel sorry for the child.   And thank goodness that the Karma bus has arrived on BM's doorstep!

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Wonder if the girl sees SS as her way out of the boondock town. (Thinking plot of An Officer and a gentleman)  She is going to be sadly disappointed.  I suspect SS has self sabotaged because he likes being the big fish in the very small pond.

Sorry for your DH.  Got to be hard to see even your estranged kid throw his potential away.

justmakingthebest's picture

He is 100% big fish in a little pond. That has been his #1 problem since leaving our area. He isn't going to make it in life. His mother has crippled him emotionally. 

Rags's picture

the product humans of any number of environments.

Many people I grew up with have it, as do many of my Military School classmates.  Being spe-cial for no reason tends to foster the problem of big fish small pond in my experience.

Growing up as a 3CK (Third Culture Kid) where status was a part of where and when many of us grew up, followed by attending boarding schools due to school ending for Expat kids after 9th grade breeds big fish in small ponds.  Many who never figure out the real world or that success is a factor of performance and not history.  One day a whale in a fishbowl, the next... a minnow in an ocean.  Scurrying around trying to understand what happened to the destiny of greatness when true high performers are biting off their tail.

Many of my Expat kid classmates and my Military School classmates struggle with real life.  I cannot comprehend how childhood then HS could be the best years of anyone's life unless they suffer from big fish small pond syndrome.  Many who were big fish in small ponds fail to realize that the greatness they thought they were destined for takes a life time of dedication and solid performance every day.

Yes, I grew up in those environments. So did my parents.  However, they did not tolerate that crap from their sons and we have not tolerated it from our kids.  

To me, here is nothing more pathetic than someone from what should be an empowering priveleged background crying poor me into middle age or beyond.   I avoid many of the gatherings because of the pathetic life perspectives that so many of my former classmates and childhood friends stand on.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed those phases of my life. They were amazing.  Though I have had far more "best years of my life" since than during those times.  

I was a huge fish in a tiny pond.  Then my plans changed when I could not Commission in the Military and I had to figure out a different direction. It took me more than a decade to figure it out, but that journey was even better than the big fish little pond phase of my life.  Though not without some of the worst years of my life as well

The follow on phase to my childhood/young adult years was defining for me. Marriage, divorce, started ran and sold a company, figured out the direction of my education progress, met and married my DW of 29+ years, raised a truly honorable man as my son (SS-31), and DW and I are engaging in our late empty nester adventure and the run up to retirement.  Continue to grow a relationship with my parents as a man I am proud of being and that they are proud of.  I can't wait to see what is next.

I have been able to make a life as a growing fish in a huge pond.  Not small, but not dominatingly big either, just growing and improving. Happily.

What I would wish for anyone to experience and pursue based on the quality of their efforts.  IMHO, a perspective that any parent of quality would raise their kids with.  Spe-cial... is earned.



Harry's picture

A baby. Doesn't mean SS Will stop going to college.,  There is a you can not miss x number of classes,  like one or two.  I would be upset too paying for a kids college and said kid isn't talking to you.  Flying a trial balloon is good

Rags's picture

are rare.

My DW is one of them.  She had SS at 16yo. He was born a month before she started her Sr. year of HS.  The school administrators tried to get her to drop our and go to single teen mom GED school.  Nope, she stayed in HS and graduated with her class with honors.  She then left the State to attend an accelerated BS program.     

By all accounts, she went from kid to instantly focused adult as soon as the blue line showed up on the pregnancy test stick.   Her boss saw it immediately.  He said she went from a marginal employee to his best instantly.

She went on to a dual major BS with honors, and MBA with honors, passed the CPA exam, and has a very successful career.

One of my college (engineering school) classmates and his GF got pregnant. They married, he finished his BSEE with honors and they have done well.  

While I certainly hope your SS is one of the rare ones who can succeed, sadly it is unlikely.

At least it gets you off the hook for $35K/yr in college expenses for him. If my SWAG math is right.

If you think that they were high in the pregnancy pic, call CPS on them now. Before they jack this kid up for life before it is even born.