FIL pled guilty to a lesser charge for disorderly conduct, so finally the domestic violence criminal case is over with. But, DH gets to give a victim impact statement and isn't sure what to say. Anyone who's been following this drama have any ideas? It's his chance to call them all out on their self centeredness without them having the chance to talk back, and basically say he knows what they were trying to do, and that they were willing to hurt him and the "other" grandkids in order to get their way.
So in the latest of the saga with the inlaws, FIL has now gotten a restraining order against DH. It should NOT have been granted, there is zero legal basis. But as I said in the last blog post, the judge didn't seemed to understand that there could be domestic violence between 2 men (or father and son) and didn't appear to take it very seriously. And said she could have found DH guilty of harassment also because of the physical fight.
DH finally had his restraining order hearing, which he won. FIL showed up with his arm in a sling and his dentures taken out for effect. FILs attorney did a lot of lying and attempting to get DH to misspeak so he could call him a liar. FIL said almost nothing except that DH punched him and claimed he had a massive amount of injuries. Didn't even tell his version of the story.
DH called child support today because money had not been taken out of his check and he didn't want to end up with back support. When he called they said BM had called and said she didn't want the cash support and it was only supposed to be for DH covering health insurance- because that's what is required at a minimum by the state since they are getting state health insurance. (So basically DH has primary insurance and the state covers what his insurance does not) What?!? She's turning down money for no reason?!
So FIL has asked for a jury trial to keep fighting his DV charges, which is scheduled for March. We also have the hearing for the restraining order coming up in a few weeks.
What's really annoying is that we want to be done with this and it gives him/them the opportunity to continue fighting and a platform to spew his nonsense that DH has to be there for and listen to. And I'm assuming I'll have to testify also since I called the police and witnessed the assault.
So BM finally filed for CS...I was shocked she didn't earlier. (Or maybe the state made her because she is getting medical assistance, idk). It is what it is. But get this - BMs income for the last 3 years was around 10k in unemployment each year and 5k listed on her taxes for her cleaning business. Uh what? 5k a YEAR?! Way to be a stereotype.
Latest attempt from the inlaws to get DH to communicate - a message from his uncle's wife sent via Instagram to DHs Facebook messenger. She (or whichever family member it actually was) made a brand new account on IG and has no friends on it. Also, DH has her blocked on Facebook but somehow you can send messages from IG (which DH doesn't even use) to Facebook?! I don't use Instagram so I didn't even know you could do that.
So the inlaws response to everything lately (restraining order, domestic violence charges) is to suck up even more to BM and try as hard as they can to throw it in DHs face through mutual acquaintances, etc. Which isn't shocking. But I really can't imagine the mindset of being abusive to your son and then seeking revenge on him because he doesn't want to be around you anymore. It just blows my mind, I can't imagine ever seeing my kids as the enemy or trying to control them to the extent that they do with DH. I completely accept that that is who they are, but I don't understand it.
We finally got the police report and a copy of the summons for FIL to court. FIL made an idiot of himself when the officer called him to get his side of the story. He was quoted as saying he just asked DH what he was going to do about his daughter and DH "went full r*tard" on him. This is pretty consistent with the disgusting way FIL usually talks, but you'd think most people would have the sense to act better in the situation. After the cop questioned him for awhile, FIL also changed his story to that he might have just grabbed DH first to keep from falling down. (Makes sense, right?)
So, in case anyone was curious, the county attorney is filing domestic violence charges against FIL today and he should be getting served Monday. DH spoke to an attorney, and he will be calling FILs attorney Tuesday to tell them either FIL drops trying to fight the restraining order, or DH will be hiring an attorney and they'll ask for FIL to pay for his attorneys fees as well.
DH is dying to threaten SIL with slander for telling lies to his friends about the situation. Idk if he should say anything to her or not. I understand his anger. But idk if it will make things worse.