The inlaws stopped by unannounced last weekend to drop off a present for DS4s birthday. They know we typically have a party the weekend of or before birthdays, so not sure if they thought they were going to get to show up to the party and surprise us in front of people or what. Luckily we weren't home so we didn't have to deal with it.
Idk why MIL can't just say okay to the boundaries DH set and quit harassing us about SD instead of having to manipulate her way back in somehow.
So I haven't been on here much because there hasn't really been anything to report stepwise.
Until today, when I posted some pics of my kids, and DHs uncles wife felt the need to comment asking where SD is. "Cute pics, but uncle ___ wants to know where SD is?"
Why does that need to be asked publicly, and why on earth would someone that isn't at all close to SD (I've met them twice I think, and they haven't even met the ours kids) feel the need to post that? Reeks of MILs gossiping to me...
So MIL and FIL did end up dropping off gifts on the front steps, just much later than I thought they would.
So MIL just messaged DH and said they were invited to SILs and asked if they could stop by and bring the kids their presents here.
My answer would be a big F no, but of course DH is being a wimp about keeping to his boundaries he set. This isnt going to be some miracle where they magically decide they care and are going stop being a bunch of assholes. Most likely SD and BM are at SILs. So they'll get to have their cake and eat it too.
This weekend was the 3rd weekend SD didn't show up. At this point I think its safe to assume that she's not going to any time soon.
It feels a little...weird. Just because it's not normal for a kid to have zero contact with a dad that was previously very involved. But honestly, this is the most peaceful my adult life has ever been and the most content I've felt. No drama with SD, no contact from BM, very little contact from the inlaws. DH and I very rarely end up arguing now also. It's nice.
MIL and FIL have been stepping up the guilt tripping texts lately and attempts to get a reaction out of DH. Posting things on Facebook (dh still has FIL on there). Luckily DH isn't even blinking at them.
But is this going to go on forever?
I've been with DH for nearly 6 years. In that time, BM has now had 4 failed relationships. Whenever she's single she loses her mind. As she's getting older and it's getting harder for her to find someone and she gets significantly less attention, it's even worse than before when she's single. And it wasn't much better while she was actually with this guy since he was hardly ever actually around because he lived halfway across the country.
Someone told me today we should try to take SD back now and essentially "fix her" while she's still really little (I dont consider a 5th grader really little). So we don't end up having to take her back in when she's older with more issues because "dh couldn't ever refuse to take his own kid."
Ummm...I already spent (wasted) several years of my life attempting to correct her poor behavior and I'm done. It didn't change anything and I still ended up being her scapegoat.
No. No, no, no no no.
SD was a no show again this morning. What a relief. I hate having someone in my home nitpicking and searching for reasons that we're not good enough and/or to get us in trouble with her mommy and aunt.
I'm assuming 2 no shows means she has no intention of coming over again anytime soon, but BM has not actually said anything again. I'm guessing she's waiting for DH to break down and beg and cry.
To complicate things she's also my brother's ex/nephews mom.
Shes in the wanting to have her cake and eat it too stage. She's dating someone else, but still wants to be fully a part of our family and is constantly inviting my brother to do things with her.