This is the longest SD had been away from our house since I've known her. BM said she wanted to keep her during the original 2 weeks that school was cancelled. Plus she was at the inlaws the weekend before. So by time time it's our week again she will have been gone for the majority of the month. I still have no idea why BM has done a 180 and keeps asking to have her for extra full weeks, but obviously we're not going to fight her on it. There's no reason for her to sit in the house with me all day instead of being at her moms.
Anyone else here have BMs or skids (or anyone else in their lives) with narcissistic traits that use animals as one of their "I'm such a wonderful person" covers. Like, they just loooove animals so much, but at the same time they dont want to actually have to take care of the animal or would just kick it to the curb once it inconveniences them.
Today has been one of those days that led me to this site in the first place. Luckily they don't happen all that often anymore- largely thanks to following advice on this site.
So if anyone read my blog a couple weeks ago, DH and I have the older 2 kids do simple 10 minute chores after school. For SD that ends up being about 4 days a month. She 2 weeks ago wrote a note in her planner (so her teacher could see) asking me not to make her do chores because it "stresses her out."
MIL and FIL asked to have SD again this weekend. This time they offered to come pick her up and so they can see the other kids too. So nice of them to be willing to put up with having to feign interest in the other kids so that they can see SD. I'm sure it's not at all just because last time they asked for just her to visit with no thought at all to the other kids that DH ignored them.
All of this constant crap with the inlaws is really stressing me out and causing a great deal of anger, so I want to get it all of my chest.
DH is going back and forth between being pissed and admitting their all a**holes and trying to pretend everything is fine and trying to downplay it and make excuses. He also wants to place most of the blame for FIL and SILs behavior on MIL alone. I dont buy that. They're all adults and responsible for their behavior.
DH and I took a parenting class a couple years ago where it was suggested to have kids do daily chores (about 10 min worth) to help them feel like they are part of the household and feel like they are contributing, or something along those lines. So we've done that for a couple years now.
This is only semi step related but since I've gotten so much good advice on here regarding toxic family members I'm putting it out there anyway.
Short background: MIL has appeared to be having meltdowns that DH doesnt see her as much anymore, sending FIL and SIL to try different ways to provoke a reaction, including having them go suck up to BM when none of them had contact with her before, etc.
FIL asked DH a couple days ago if DH wanted to bring SD down with him. No mention of the other kids. MIL sent DH this text today:
Seeing DHs awful family, SD and BM, reading all the stories on here, along with observing some of the big names in our culture makes me wonder. Is there a point to doing good, doing the "right thing" etc? Other than not feeling bad about yourself? I mean, you see all these skids and BMs treating people like crap and the thing that gets me is it WORKS. A lot of the are just as well off, or better off, than the people trying to be kind.
If anyone older and wiser wants to chime in, I'd be interested to hear your perspectives.
How sad of a life it must be to be so desperate that you can never let go of anyone who has given you a scrap of attention at any point.
Or at least I'm trying to look at it this way instead of feeling the internal rage that this b*tch will never just go away and live her own life and instead needs to be involved in Every. Aspect. of everyone's lives.