I’ve noticed a huge change in my relationship with my SD. With her going to school and not home all day everyday our relationship has thrived. Yes I still have moments where I can’t stand her, but those are happening less and less. She might still drive me crazy on the daily, but I can see us trying to get along better with each other. I’m not instantly pissed off when she does something most of the time anymore. I can actually enjoy her company for longer periods of time. I’m not sure if it’s her growing up or if it’s because SO has stopped catering to her as much.
I’m not much of a cuddler. My babies sure they’re babies they actually need to be held. A 5 year old though? Not so much. I’m just really so uncomfortable with it. My SO regardless of everything I do still tells me I’m not good enough because I won’t cuddle with SD. I hug her and that’s about as much as I can do with out being weirded out. I feel like I’m being held to standards he doesn’t hold her BM to. I take care of this little girl, I’m here for her when she needs me, I do everything I can to make sure she’s taken care of.
You guys.. I know my solution would be to leave my situation but that’s not going to happen. So instead I’m going to write this so I don’t explode. My babies are both under the weather today. They’re coughing, runny noses, irritable. So guess who else is irritatable, and tired. This mom. Today on top of dealing with my sick littles SD stayed home from school so I can take her to the dentist. The past week she’s been complaining about a tooth ache. She has 7 cavities because her dad didn’t keep up with her oral health. We have to take her to a surgeon to get all her teeth fixed.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted partly because everything has gotten a lot better and also because I don’t have time to do anything with all these kids lol. It took me a lot of thinking to finally decide I need to talk to someone about it. It’s not even all that bad just really weird and uncomfortable. My SO and my SD5 cuddle with each every morning on the couch. I’ve always had a problem with it mostly because I can’t even get him to be that intimate with me ever. I ignore it though because he doesn’t listen to me if I brought it up anyways.
Today is my nephews birthday party. I’ve mentioned it to my BF at least once before this morning, and I’ve also mentioned that I really don’t want to take SD with me. Well this morning I mention to him again that I won’t be here between 12-4 because I’m going to my nephews birthday party. Well after I leave the room to feed DD1 my SD goes and lays with him. While in there he tells her that she gets to go to my nephews birthday party today. He asks me right in front of her was she invited?
we have less than 200 dollars to go buy food and pay bills this week. All because SD5s birthday was on Monday. I’m all for throwing her a party and getting her a present but what I’m not ok with is my SO blowing all of the money he made this week on a legit pile of gifts for her. He gave her toys on Monday and yesterday after promising me he wasn’t going to spend all our money on getting her stuff he does it anyways. He comes home with shopping bags full of stuff for her. He also has to buy the rest of the stuff for her party today.
It took a while 3 days of me being before everything blew up as I expected. Of course SD is the cause of it all. I took my son to his first doctors appointment today so my SO aunt watched the girls for me while I went. She kept SD5 for the entire day because she was playing with all the kids over at her house. Which is completely fine I’m glad she gets to play with other kids on top of having one less child to deal with. Anyways she comes home at dinner time crying already because she had to come home.
I’m having my son this Friday. That’s less than 2 days away. My BFs aunt agreed at least a month ago to watch both of the girls this weekend while I’m in the hospital so my BF could also be there for me and our son. Well today she decided to tell us that she won’t be keeping the girls all weekend because she can’t handle our DD1 for more than one night and she will also be going fishing on Sunday with my BFs mom. Wow ok then. Not only are you telling me this 2 days before I’m about to have this baby but you’re also trying to shame me for wanting my SO there the whole time.
Both of the girls decided today would be a good day to have completely over the top meltdowns. SD4 spilled an entire bowl of cereal all over her room but instead of just cleaning it up decided to get an attitude and yell and argue with me. It took her an entire hour to clean it because I refused to help after the way she wanted to talk to me. After she finished she still had an attitude while at the same time my DD1 was screaming her little head off because she was tired and didn’t want to sleep.
My little boy will be here this Friday and I can’t be more excited. I’m so looking forward to the few days in the hospital with just me, my SO and our son! I just have to get through these next few days with SD with out loosing my mind. My hormones are raging and it doesn’t help that she went away to her grandmas house where she gets spoiled to no end. Already this morning she’s gotten an attitude and has decided she’s allowed to talk to me in anyway she wants. Of course I’m nipping it in the butt as it happens I just don’t know if I’m going to have the patience to deal with all day long.