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HowBoutScottyDont's Blog

I got out.

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This will be short. My bios and I left the home. DH  was becoming more and more unpredictable, angry, and accusatory. I was becoming a teary, nervous wreck. I'm sure the pandemic escalated things.

So I left. I have a lawyer. I'm attempting to get use of the home, and set up reasonable visitation for bios with their Dad.

I never wanted to leave because my goal was to protect my bios. But I couldn't do that as I was becoming a shell of my former self.

SD19 visited

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She joined us for dinner unexpectedly this past week after a month of saying she would never see us again. 

She was nice to everyone... except for me. She wouldn't answer simple questions. Ok, fine, it was one dinner. 

SD19 showed up, update!

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*DH now wants to take my bios to see SD, as she will not see me. I said no. That rewarding this behavior is not ok... both her rude treatment of me and last nights stunt.*


Last night she showed up unannounced and yelled to let her in. DH shockingly did not let her in because he had seen pictures of her socializing with friends. 

Now, I'm sure he will say he only did it for my benefit. 

No idea why she didnt text her Dad first before showing up. But I'm thankful shes not in my home right now. 

I suspect she will try this again.

SD19 ... no show

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SD19 did not join SS15 for a visit this week as expected.

She and DH have bounced between screaming at each other and professing their emotionally incestuous love for one another by phone and facetime.

SD19 and Covid19

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BM finally retrieved SD19 from FL. She didnt get her full spring break because the beach closed down. BM has had them all at home in self-isolation. Same at our house. 

I moved into SD19s room a couple months ago since shes been away at school. DH was furious when he saw I moved some if her things into the closet. Sorry DH, but she isn't here and you're an ahole.

He wants her to come stay for a while. I told him I'm open to the idea of her staying on SS15s schedule, but no more than that. And if she behaves as she did over Xmas, the visit would be over. 

College Spring Break and Covid19

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So SD19 is starting her spring break. Her college mandates that anyone who leave cannot come back for 4 weeks. So she's spending the next two weeks going to a few vacation spots with friends, the second week of which she is supposed to be doing courses online too. The latter two weeks, BM is bringing her home to our area, where SD19 can still do her courses. And of course DH is pushing for her to spend one of the weeks at our home.

Minor Issue - Bedrooms

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This is a minor issue in the scheme of my home life.

Essentially, my SD19, lives states away at college. She came home for winter break, during which she kept the same visitation schedule (with adjustments as she sees fit) as her younger brother, SS15. We have him EO Thursday - Sunday, plus Wednesday dinners. So we had her for about a week during the break, and she was a nightmare to be around, for everyone in the house.

Holiday Bliss? Update and Vent

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This is mostly a vent... and a little drama reading for anyone interested in the updates.

So we made it through Christmas.

My DH, who threatened to to take my bios away the weekend before, decided he shouldn't take them without my consent, and just went with my stepkids to the inlaws for the weekend. I have no idea what the sleeping arrangements were while they were at my inlaws regarding my SS15. I gave them the necessary information; I hope the adults made the right choice.

Update - Sleeping Arrangements for SS15

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So my DH has "decided" that he is taking both LOs away this weekend to visit the inlaws, and leaving me home alone. He was originally supposed to go with the skids. Now he says all of them are going. He didn't care that I have no interest in going since we were JUST there for Thanksgiving (4 hour drive each way), and that I have to work both Friday and Monday. He didn't care that I was looking forward to the time at home with the kids and festive plans we made. He's making a decision unilaterally, which is not going to work for me.

Sleeping Arrangements for SS15

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Background  - DS4 told authorities that his older half brother, SS15, touched him inappropriately over the summer (when they were 3 and 14 respectively). SS15 never denied but never claimed responsbility. CPS and the county sheriff's office were involved. No charges were pressed but we were told to maintain supervision of the boys at all times. We have cameras and alarms up; SS was moved to another floor with his own bedroom/bath.