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Holiday Bliss? Update and Vent

HowBoutScottyDont's picture

This is mostly a vent... and a little drama reading for anyone interested in the updates.

So we made it through Christmas.

My DH, who threatened to to take my bios away the weekend before, decided he shouldn't take them without my consent, and just went with my stepkids to the inlaws for the weekend. I have no idea what the sleeping arrangements were while they were at my inlaws regarding my SS15. I gave them the necessary information; I hope the adults made the right choice.

Despite the drama that lead up to it, I had a lovely, relaxing weekend with my bios. We baked, delivered cookies, watched xmas movies, we saw the town's light festival. My parents came and got up early with the bios, which meant I was able to get about 10 hours of sleep each night. That was the best gift they could have given me and much appreciated as I needed the sleep.

And then drama returned home on Monday. SD18 (almost 19) gave me the silent treatment, argued with her Dad and cursed him out, yelled at me (the only time she did speak to me), and was basically a dark cloud the entire 5 days she was there. I didn't want to be in a position where anyone could claim that I contributed to her mood or behavior, so I kept my mouth shut, was polite, and when she was around, I extended offers to SD to join in any activities we were doing. She still walked away and ignored me. But then I caught her sneaking into my office (kids are not allowed in there) and asked what she was doing, and she flipped out. She yelled at me, and said some pretty nasty words. I walked away so that DH could handle it. She cursed him out too. I realize this is partly teen, partly kid returning home from a first semester in college, partly spoiled divorced kid with a Disney Dad.... but holy smokes...this is also plain old B****.

I am glad that I have decided to stay put in order to protect my little ones. There is no way that DH would have sheltered my 1 and 4 year olds from SD18's behavior this past week, where as I insisted that DH continue their arguments outside the home or in the basement. DH would have not protected my bios given his stance on sleeping arrangements when it comes to SS15. I wish I could trust DH to have basic common sense with them.

...I am really looking forward to his next trip to visit SD at college. Alone! SD is not scheduled to come back to our home state until the end of the next semester (Spring 2020) to visit, and plans on staying in her college town for the summer. I have not bothered addressing it now, but I will not have her in my home any more unless I get an apology and acknowledgement that she was out of line.




Chmmy's picture

Sounds like an awful situation. I understand you are stuck there in order to protect your bios from SS15s abuse and the negativity of the rest of the skids. So sad that the law can not protect you and your children. Im glad you made it through the holiday and hope you will find an escape from your situation. 

I have no advice for you but it sounds like you were just venting. Best wishes .

tog redux's picture

I still don't think it's tenable long-term for you to stay in this situation - though I understand your reasons. DH may have backed off this time, but at some point, all of this is going to come to a boiling point.  

simifan's picture

From what I remember you put in cameras to protect your son. I'm hoping you are keeping the video tapes of this nonsense. Please document anything and everything. I agree with tog this pot is going to boil over and you need to be ready. Hopefully you will have enough to ask for restraining orders against his kids.