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I got out.

HowBoutScottyDont's picture

This will be short. My bios and I left the home. DH  was becoming more and more unpredictable, angry, and accusatory. I was becoming a teary, nervous wreck. I'm sure the pandemic escalated things.

So I left. I have a lawyer. I'm attempting to get use of the home, and set up reasonable visitation for bios with their Dad.

I never wanted to leave because my goal was to protect my bios. But I couldn't do that as I was becoming a shell of my former self.

I'm sad, scared of  how this will play out... but relieved to not be waking up in a home where I'm scared of what DH is going to do next or in front of my bios.


justmakingthebest's picture

I am so sorry that it had to come to this for you. 

I am glad you have an attorney and hopefully family to help support you during this!!!

Kes's picture

So sorry that this became necessary - but being as how it was, well done for taking decisive action to protect the welfare of yourself and your children. 

CLove's picture

It takes a huge amount of internal fortitude to break out of these situations and face all the unknowns, But know that you are doing the best thing ever and that you will get stronger and live better incrementally over time. Give yourself that space to grieve and process the trauma.

Hugs to you and know that your children will be so much happier! As will you!

Iamwoman's picture

Good for you, Scottydont. We all know firsthand, how hard this is for you, and how bad it had to get to push you to this point.

I hope your attorney gets you and your children the house so that your children's lives are not disrupted permanently.

As for your husband, after years of disrespecting you and your bios, I seriously doubt he will even think this is his fault.

He doesn't seem capable of self-reflection.

At least now, he can cater to his emotionally incestuous relationship without you around to get between him and his 19 year old wife-daughter.

Stay strong. You are doing what is right for your bios and for your own mental health. Nobody deserves to be treated the way he chose to treat you.

Harry's picture

You kinda knew deal down,  This is the way it's going to end. DH is not parenting his kids, instead of getting SS help that he needs.  He has his head somewhere.   It's not helping SS. Not helping your marriage,  he not helping anyone beside himself.  

DPW's picture

I wish you all the best. You have a difficult road ahead but I know you are strong enough to handle it and come out better for it. 

JRI's picture

I'm sorry to hear of your trouble.  Many on here have gone thru painful split-ups, its the pits.  I am hoping for the best possible outcome.

When I read your post, i thought, this is just the first of many splits thst will occur due to this pandemic.  So many people have been quarantined with family and have HAD IT.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

You are doing the right thing. Your situation was untenable.

I hope you have a tough attorney who is prepared to do whatever it takes for you to win. While I usually think a "cooperative" divorce is the way to go if at all possible - in your case you need to be prepared for a down and dirty fight.

Good luck and please keep us updated.



ndc's picture

Good for you - I think you've made the right move. I hope your attorney is excellent and aggressive - you're going to need it.

Winterglow's picture

Have you considered getting an RO on your SS so that your children won't have to deal with him?

HowBoutScottyDont's picture

Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. 

It sounds as though DH is going to fight me on the home, so I may be having to find a rental soon. I've been caring for my bios and our home full time since the start of the pandemic, and working part time. I want to throttle DH. Even before the pandemic, I did the bulk of the household work and childcare while working full time.

He's a special kind of ahole.