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SD19 visited

HowBoutScottyDont's picture

She joined us for dinner unexpectedly this past week after a month of saying she would never see us again. 

She was nice to everyone... except for me. She wouldn't answer simple questions. Ok, fine, it was one dinner. 

But the highlight of the night was her epic tantrum that her room was used as the guestroom while she was away at college. A number of her items were placed in the closet (decorative stuff), with the idea being we would put them back if she visited again. Given her last minute plans to join us for dinner (no plan to stay the night), neither DH nor I had a chance to put them back. 

She started in on me, and I declined the conversation. I was putting the little kids to bed and just couldn't. DH finally brought her to the living room. I texted him from upstairs that I would not be engaging in anything with his daughter, and that he needed to deal with her.

In the end, she took all her stuff and moved it out, back to her Mom's, although she left behind old clothing.

Dh is now pissed with me for moving stuff to the closet, and for not "working this out with her". I told him that moving decorations was not the real issue, that he cut me out if the parenting equation long ago, and that his daughter doesnt want to work anything out with me... she was there to bash me and put on a poor-me show in front of her father. He's also now saying that I moved her stuff on purpose so that she was "compelled to leave". 

I know I can't  get through to him. So this is really more of a vent.

He's exhausting and so is his daughter.



hereiam's picture

She was nice to everyone... except for me

But your jerk husband is okay with that, isn't he?

At this point, who cares if he is pissed?

HowBoutScottyDont's picture

He glosses over that. Because it would weaken his argument that all problems are my fault.

Merry's picture

She's lucky her stuff was in the closet and not in the trash.

Your DH is an utter ass about this.

HowBoutScottyDont's picture

Right? I took good care of it. Organized it nicely.

I think I posted on all this a while ago.. but it's been a while... but she had left dirty laundry and trash out. I moved and threw out a lot initially just to clean... we had my brother coming to visit and my MIL at a separate time. 

So SD19 came home to a clean room. A heck of a lot better than she left it. 

ShadowAthena's picture

Every time SD is a bitch, record it. Keep the recordings. Don't engage with her. Just record what she says and does. Then show her pathetic father. That's what I'd do. I'd get her in shit and show people what she's really like. Little bitch. 

Gimlet's picture

((hugs)) Scotty.  You have one of the most challenging and complicated situations here.  I hope you and your littles are holding up OK.

notarelative's picture

SD is 19. She is an adult. She has decided to live with BM. The room that used to be hers is no longer. It is not a shrine. It is a guest room and SD does not get to decide how it should be decorated.

SD came for dinner. If she had been invited to stay the night, she would have been accommodated in the guest room. 

Harry's picture

More room in the closet to pack more of her stuff to take back to BM. Nothing good is going to come with SD.