I'm sick and tired of hearing DH tell me about how he wishes I loved his kids as much as he does and how he doesn't understand my negative feelings towards SS because SS is a "good kid".
This is what I wish I said - Really, DH?? Sure, SS is cordial to me. I'm cordial to him and I've stopped doing any discipline, so, yeah, he doesn't hate me right now. Being cordial to me doesn't mean he's a good kid. Here's just a few of the reasons why I don't think your precious child is good kid...
Just looking for some opinions from others. We have the skids next week and they don't have school for three out of the five days. In addition to that, they also don't have school this Friday, but it's their mom's week, so it doesn't affect me. I stay at home with DS1 and I'm really annoyed that they'll be here instead of school. I can manage with having to deal with lazy kids one full day in a school week, but three days without DH will drive me nuts.
SD16 is generally a good kid - loving, good grades, nice to be around when she's not hormonal, but she is so effing lazy by my standards. Yesterday, she got an attitude with DH because he said he couldn't drive her to a study session and told her to look at a bus schedule instead. She didn't say anything, but got in a super pissy mood with him. That just drove me over the edge. She treats him like her personal driver, yet doesn't expect the same from her mother. When it's BM's week with her kids, SD doesn't do any extracurricular activities.
Really DH? Why would you ask SS how he would feel if we had another kid? It was a hypothetical joking question, but SS does not like DS, so really all you accomplished was pissing me off. SS immediately said no, he did not want another sibling. DH, you might be joking, but SS does not get jokes. Why even give him any reason to say anything or start hating a child that doesn't even exist? If we want another child and I become pregnant, we just tell everyone when I'm pregnant. We don't ask them how they would feel beforehand. Especially when we know the answer is no.
I've been with DH for over 5 years. I refer to him as DH here and in real life when I'm introducing him to others that don't know us. I call SS and SD my stepkids on those occasions too. We are pretty much married in my mind - we own a house together, have a child together, have a joint account together, list each other as beneficiary for certain accounts. But, we aren't officially married. DH proposed years ago, but neither us of made any plans.
My friend is having a birthday party for her two year old. I just told DH about the party and he asked if we had the kids that weekend and I said yes. DH immediately says, "Oh great, they can come too."
Though this happened months ago, I just found out that SS12 ran up over $500 worth of online games on BM's credit card. DH was trying to keep the drama from me because I already have a low opinion of SS and BM and he didn't want me disliking them even more, but SD mentioned it, so now I know. Apparently back when BM discovered SS's shenanigans, she repeated asked DH to transfer SS's allowance account to her to pay her part of the money back.
I feel like I'm screwing up my own child. DH and I constantly argue over skid and BM issues, but since we can't do it in the house because the skids will hear us arguing about them or their mom, we go for daily walks to hash things out. It was fine before we had BS. But now, BS goes on our walks with us or to our couple's counseling appointments. BS sees and hears me get angry at DH and vice versa on a constant basis. DH says that BS (who is 1) is too young to be affected, but I don't think that's true.
My DH wants to do a family portrait. One with DH, me, SD, SS, and DS and one with just DH, me, and DS. I've been avoiding the subject. I've grown to really dislike SS. Outwardly our relationship is fine, we aren't loving towards each other, but we both seem to tolerate each others existence. Privately, I really just want him to ask to live with his mom because I can't stand him. I don't want to have a portrait done because then it will be displayed in the house, most likely in the living room. To be blunt, I don't want to be reminded of his face on a constant basis.
So the stepkids were gone for almost 4 weeks this summer and it was blissful. I was only expecting them to be away for two weeks, but things worked out so they were at their grandmom's for longer. I got a chance to see what life would be like if it was just DH, DS, and me. The arguments went away, I slept at night even with an infant, the house was clean and organized...everything was just peaceful. DH asked me every couple of days if I missed the kids, but I had to be honest with him. My life was infinitely better.