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It's been a long time... The skids are all adults now

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It's been since 2018 since I have posted here.

I'm having some mini terror flashbacks reading my old blogs.

I will say...for me... as the skids got has gotten better.

#1 I think I have changed my mindset, how I process dealing with them and what I will and will not let affect me.

#2 I feel more stable & comfortable in mine and DH's relationship and where we stand.

This is what was done in 90 minutes

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SIL who lives in NC had evacuated back to home state and was making her way back to NC and stopped over in our state and stayed the night. I was out of town for work.

This is what happened in 90 minutes or less. From the time that SS (and his GF and her 2 kids) and OSD (and her DH and their 3 kids)till the time they left.

They showed up at 8:30 on a school night and stayed until 10.

A little brag about my BS

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A few weeks ago BS12 asked if I could take him to the store to go shopping for Father's Day gifts. He already knew what he was getting both DH and Ex.

BS bought each of them a gift, bought the gift bags and a card and wrote very nice messages in the cards.

All I had to do was drive him to the store.

Thoughts on this- Siblings

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Is it "okay" for adult children from the "first family" (for lack of better word) not want to spend time with their siblings from the second family?

Does it make a difference if there is a huge age gap? Siblings weren't raised together? Does it matter if it's step or bio siblings?

Is it "okay" for adult child to ask parent to spend time with them (even if it requires traveling) without younger siblings or even without parent's current spouse?

I spoke too soon... as always

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As soon as I think things are good and express it the universe always reminds me... LOL...

Little background- MSD was always close to DH and me. Then all of a sudden (or I happened to notice) that she was doing very manipulative things. Telling her sisters I said/did stuff that I didn't do causing issues with me and them. Then she started to steal from me. Things that were important and meant something to me. Then she put her hands on me. Her and DH had a falling out over that and he hadn't spoken to her in 2 1/2 years.

It's been almost a year since youngest skid aged out

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It's been almost a year since YSD graduated HS and aged out. Wooo hooo!

In the past year (give or take a couple of months):

DH has made upgrades to his motorcycle- paid cash

DH bought a truck- paid cash (he was saving though prior to end of CS)

We bought a new to us camper- paid cash

Would you be comfortable?

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Would you be comfortable with the NCP picking up the child for visitation from the home without the CP present?

So if child comes home from school on the bus but the CP isn't home yet (at work) but NCP wants to pick up child earlier then previously scheduled time (after CP was home).

Is there an age where you think that the child can handle it (bag packed appropriately, doors locked, NCP didn't come in the house, etc. )?

Skid- tidbits and thoughts from counselor

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All has been good in Step Land for the most part.

DH still has no contact with MSD.

We rarely hear from/see SS. This is a little concerning as I worry that he is abusing drugs. His GF doesn't post on FB at all, where before she would always post on FB about him and her, etc. Pretty sure BM is taking the blame for his car accident that happened a little while back. I saw that she has a court date.

YSD is still in the UK with her DH who is deployed there. They seem to just go to clubs/drink and lay around in their apartment and take selfies with filters on them.

OT: South Padre Island, TX

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Sorry for the OT...

Has anyone been to South Padre Island? I've been researching and researching and researching trying to find the *perfect* place for DH and I to go for our 5 year anniversary and I think I have settled on South Padre Island. There is a resort there, right on the beach that seems to fit all of my "wants". Plus the prices seem very good.

I know it's known as a party place during Spring Break but we would be going in early October (I know.... hurricane season).


How are we responsible ?

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How are we (SMs) responsible for what goes in our homes and lives when it comes to the skids and BM?

We are quick to place blame on bratty skids with no morals and bad behaviors, crazy BMs and Disneyland Dads. But what about us?

Aren't we responsible for our own happiness?

If we continue to stay in relationships that drive us crazy, where we are undermined and undervalued, aren't we responsible for that?