It's been a long time... The skids are all adults now
It's been since 2018 since I have posted here.
I'm having some mini terror flashbacks reading my old blogs.
I will say...for me... as the skids got older...it has gotten better.
#1 I think I have changed my mindset, how I process dealing with them and what I will and will not let affect me.
#2 I feel more stable & comfortable in mine and DH's relationship and where we stand.
#3 DH is kind of a shit father and not super involved with the skids and gskids. He wants to be a parent when it's convenient for him. So this still at times causes problems at times. We are better with talking through them but I will say it's still a source of contention at times.
Overall I think things are better but I wish I was in a marriage where I didn't have to deal with the skid issues because they are always there... lingering in the background.
Major thing is that the many many years I spent pushing boundaries around my home, marriage and life when it comes to the skids has really exhausted me and made me annoyed with DH. I think he resents me for pushing these boundaries (though he enjoys the peace and quiet from the skids) because he feels like it has affected his parenting. Which is kind of funny because he wasn't doing a great job anyways.
BM is pretty non-existent in my life thank goodness. (especially considering she only lives about a mile from mw) Only resurfacing to speak with DH on occasion because the skids are out of control. To which she ignores that DH is married to me or gives "her permission" for me to be involved with stuff with the skids.
So here's an update on the skids... for those who remember me or anyone who wants to feel like they are reading an episode of Jerry Springer. As a reminder I was once involved in PotatoGate where the problems all started many many years ago with OSD making potato salad at my new house. LOL
OSD: married and divorced with 3 kids. Separated from her DH in October 2020, moved in with her new BF the same month, for them to split up in January 2021 and she started dating a new guy (who I'm pretty sure is on drugs) in May who she is living with. She doesn't work as far as I can tell.
We are on cordial terms. Finally after many years. We can be in the same room and around each other and be friendly. That is the extent of it. Her and DH don't talk or see each often.
SS: No job, on drugs, full blown drug addict. Warrants out for his arrest for theft. Got shot in a drug deal gone bad in Feb. Got his kid taken away. Wrecked his car.
Drug problem got really bad summer last year to which I kept telling DH but he didn't believe me. I'm not stupid. DH was just ignoring what was really going on. Finally put a stop to him coming over in October when he came to the house and was nodding out. DH had a little contact with him since he got shot.
MSD: Also a drug addict. She went from being an LPN to a drug addict. Both of her kids live with their dads (granted through the court). She was supposedly living in her car, but that got re-poed. She's been pistol whipped and shot at. She also was living with OSD's ex (who is also a drug user). I haven't had any contact with MSD in at least 6 years when she put her hands on me. DH has had minimal contact as well.
YSD: Got pregnant in HS, married her BF and he joined the Air Force. They are actually doing really well. We get along and can have genuine conversations.
She reached out to me in the winter time and apologized for "hating me" for so many years. She recognized a lot of the issues had to do with her dad and that not everything was my fault. It was a very unexpected conversation but felt good to talk through everything. I thought it was very mature of her to even bring it up.
So yeah... it's better but still skid issues in some ways.