Wicked stepmo.'s Blog
The Birthday Weekend
OSD left with all her belongings to go live with BM. I knew she had been planning this as her acting out behavior had continued to get increasingly worse as well as her constant rebellion over everything.
Upon her exit SO would reach out to her constantly trying to get her to come back. OSD would tell SO she loved him but couldn't live with me anymore.
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Trying to heal
I am going back to counseling and as things change and I start to seperate myself from the daily chaos and dysfunction. I have gained more clarity into my feelings and what needs to change if this relationship is going to work.
Yes SKs are aweful. But I have dealt with a lot of aweful kids and have never felt this way about any of them. So why do I feel this way about SKs?
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Early morning thoughts
As the date for SO to move out nears. My feelings of guilt lessen. I actually realize that part of me still harbors anger and resentment towards him for the way he has treated me in relation to his kids over the past year.
There is a part of me that looks forward to him having to live in a home where it's not his and have to deal with his kids 24/7 without me.
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Very mixed emotions
SO and I went to buy carpet today and he is going to his mother's tomorrow to start getting the room ready to move in.
My emotions have been all over the place and today I felt a sense of sadness. I just want to rip the band aid off and be done with it.
I am going to miss having him there all the time. Going to bed together, running errands together, just hanging out. The just him and I part of our relationship is good, we are good together.
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Everything changed overnight
Well OSD just got kicked out of the last place she had to go after physically assaulting her mother's cousin. Of course BM doesn't want her now that she did everything she could to make her this way.
OSD is currently at her grandparents. I know this will also not last because they will not put up with her acting out behavior.
I do not have it in me to deal with both SDs. If OSD comes here SO and my relationship is destined to fail. The stress one SD has on our relationship is damaging enough. It would not survive both of them being here.
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What if?
I came home after an amazing few days away with DS and a friend. I was happy to see SO, but not happy to be home.
I sat here thinking as I watched SO wait for YSD to get ready. SO planned to take her fishing, which I think is grey he should spend more time alone with her.
As he waited for TWO hours, gently nudging her to get moving, while he waited like her trained dog waiting for a treat. I started to wonder is it possible that you can be compatible with someone in every way, except parenting and have that be enough to destroy a relationship?
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SO needs to be evaluated because he is delusional.
After a year of lockdowns, I made plans for DS and I to go in some trips together. Prior to COVID the last trips we went on YSD completely ruined with her disruptive, disrespectful tantruming behavior. I still have PTSD from the experience.
I made a promise to DS I would make it up to him, since we all had a horrible time.
I have never hid my feelings or intentions from SO. So I was completely taken a back when he mentioned bringing YSD!!!
He must be insane.
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The learning curve
It seems the only person in this house who learns from their mistakes is me.
It's a very sad state of affairs because I am not the one with all the issues. But yet here I am learning new ways to maneuver through life while avoiding SO and SKs issues.
Just when I thought SO was starting to learn that not parenting SKs has lead to negative consequences and not setting boundaries with BM has been detrimental to SKs emotional and mental health.
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Because "Ex's" that's why!!!
SO came back from counseling and almost lost his mind because BM lied the entire session.
Well yeah because she is a narc and that's what they do. SO was freaking out as if the counselor was fooled by BMs nonsense.
I had to explain to him that most people can see right through her once they get to know her that's why she has no friends. Plus this is a trained professional who can pick up on BMs inconsistent statements, and odd behavior.
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O/T Something I have always wanted to do.
I have always wanted to do respite care. It's where you take a kid in every other weekend. I used to work with underprivileged kids and unlike being a stepparent it is so rewarding.
When I bought my house and before having SO and SKs move in that was my plan.
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