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Onefootout's Blog

Watching second wives club

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It's an older movie, but I never watched it, and I never read the book before. Probably should have, would have saved me a lot of trouble

Almost can't watch it, hit way too close to home. The second wife is on the verge of an affair with a really handsome and sensitive building engineer, who just happens to be working on her dream home.

Where was my hot and emotionally available building engineer planning my dream home when I was in a stepfamily situation?

My 'mini-wife' theory

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I have a theory about mini wives whether it be SDs or SS--as in my case. I think a lot of times the dads like to feel like they are being fought over. Especially by their kids. They like being something to compete for. And I think a lot of dad's either tacitly or openly encourage their kids to be mini wives.

After two months of being out of step life I realized my ex probably enjoyed being caught in the middle between me and his son. He said it stressed him out and maybe it did on some level, but I mean when he feels caught in the middle, that means he's at the center of it all.

Steptalk podcast?

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Okay, I'm suffering from a 3 day migraine and so I'm getting a little goofy. But as I'm hurting my head reading these blogs, I was thinking wouldnt it be fun if some of you regulars started a podcast. Maybe like the view only for women and men living the step hell dream.

Kind of a weird idea but I think some of you would be really good at it. I'd listen to it!

The ice queen is thawing

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For quite sometime I've been iced out by SS17,lives with us full time, who treats me like a ghost and I reacted by returning the favor, and SO hates it. I'm the adult, I need to keep trying with SS even if SS ignores me in return. SO and I were at a stand off on this issue.

Then I started going to counseling and guess what, my counselor just got remarried and has her son full time! Great! Now she's going to relate more to my SO than to me (I have no kids).

SS17 stay out of my bedroom

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SS17 walked into his bedroom a few minutes ago and who did he find? Me, lying on his bed surfing the web. So here's how it went. Told him, hey, SS17, don't mind me, I'm just hanging. He told me he thought it was kind of weird me being in his bedroom. I said, you think? Does it feel weird and kind of awkward? He responded, yeah. And he was none too pleased.

SS17 goes to his dad, and of course, SO says he's staying out of it, that it's between me and SS17. Typical.

I think I can do better.

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Question is do I want to. I live with a 17 yo SS who is emotionally 10 years old. And he lives here full time, every day of the year. SS' infantile behavior is not improving one bit and it's SO's fault.

SO refuses buy SS a car so SS can learn to drive (he's not coordinated enough to drive SO's manual shift truck).

SO has made no efforts to teach SS to drive. He's not pushed SS to get a part time job. SS is socially inept and has lots of issues relating to people. A job is exactly what he needs.

Clingy SS17

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SS is now 17, still as clingy as ever to his dad. I've been watching the two of them in the kitchen while SO makes dinner. SS17 acts like he's on one of those child leashes connected to his dad.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table, and decided to time how long SS can stay at least three feet away from his dad before he has to start clinging again. At times he maxes out at a minute, other times, he can hold out for 20 seconds before he has to be right on top of his dad.

The only time SS moves away into the living room is when his dad is standing near me.

SS16's other mothers, his older sisters

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SO's adult daughters have not spoken to him in years, until now. SDs (twenty-somethings) are basically BMs little brainwashed soldiers who have treated him pretty badly, things like going on facebook and calling their step dad their new "daddy," knowing SO would see it. And then calling SO by his first name, rather than "dad."

And things were going so well.

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Breaking my promise to myself to take a break from ST so I don't get caught up in giving too much space in my brain to step life.

SS16 got his bike stolen because he couldn't be bothered to lock it because "I was in a rush." He was late to school of course. Lazy ass.

So now that football season started, SO must yet again chauffeur SS16 back and forth to the games on weekends for band.