The ice queen is thawing
For quite sometime I've been iced out by SS17,lives with us full time, who treats me like a ghost and I reacted by returning the favor, and SO hates it. I'm the adult, I need to keep trying with SS even if SS ignores me in return. SO and I were at a stand off on this issue.
Then I started going to counseling and guess what, my counselor just got remarried and has her son full time! Great! Now she's going to relate more to my SO than to me (I have no kids).
So anyway, told the counselor how awful SS is to me, she suggested I try running toward the problem rather than running away. She suggested SS and I do an activity together for 15 minutes every day, rules are, no screens, like TV or Xbox, and it has to be all positive. We could do a puzzle together, go for a walk, anything and I can pick the activity.
My jaw dropped but I said I'd consider it.
Well I've been having SS help me walk our three dogs around the neighborhood a couple of times per week. not up for every day yet, lets not get crazy!
Some days SS is cooperative, the most recent time he pitched a fit and refused to go, until his dad made him. And I behaved myself the whole time.
The counselor said she was proud of me for trying. SO appreciates it too, of course.
Who'd have thought I would ever reengage like this. Can't say it will help me and SS but it does help me and SO get along better.