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Strange But True

BettyRay's picture

SS6 and SS11 both had activities at the same time Thursday. It was our night with SSons so I offered to take SS6 to his activity. FH had to go to SS11’s activity since he had to sign forms for summer camp.

Well SS6 was not happy with this arrangement. He wanted FH to take him to his activity. FH and I explained to him that it wasn’t possible for FH to go to his activity. SS6 then said he wanted BM to take him. Well BM was working that evening and couldn’t take him either. I told him that he had 2 choices:

1 - He could go with FH and SS11 and skip his activity; or
2 - I could take him to his activity.

He chose option 2 and said it was okay that I take him. But apparently it wasn’t okay cause SS6 was complaining to BM about BettyRay taking him to his activity. Well BM actually set him straight.

BM told him that he should quit complaining and be thankful that BettyRay cares enough about him to want to help out and make time to take him to his activity. I was pleasantly surprised to hear this, so was FH by the way.

I guess I just wanted to share a little good news.

~BettyRay

Comments

bellacita's picture

im so happy u have a reasonable BM who works w u, not against u! an inspiration to those of us who are less fortunate in that dept!

SerendipitySM's picture

Betty - that is fantastic - nice to hear there are mature and rational BMS out there.....welcome by the way!! Smile

Wicked2Three's picture

Holy cow BettyRay! Good for you! Moreover, good for SS. The steps need BM's who back up the relationships we are trying to forge for the sake of the SK's. There was a full moon in my neck of the woods over the weekend. I wonder if that has anything to do with it. LOL

BettyRay's picture

It took a long time for us (FH, BM & me) to get to this point. I let FH handle all communication with BM. But I started doing a lot of the behind the scenes stuff.

When I first met FH, he didn't have any access to SSons school and extra-activity schedules. So I signed up for the school newsletter and got their school calendar online. This has made a huge difference.

It leveled the playing field. Now we know when stuff is going on and I even keep a family activity calendar on the fridge for all of our activities. I also remind FH when something important is coming up so he can be proactive in communicating with BM.

Before he was always reactive in that she would let him know a day or 2 in advance and he (and by default me) would be scrambling to change our schedule to be at SSons functions.

This year she provided us when a 3 month summer calendar of all their activities. It's a huge improvement.

The cool thing is SSons have come to rely on the activity calendar too. I didn't do it at the beginning of last month - SSons noticed - and SSons and FH did it for me.

FH has also made a point of never agreeing to something without first consulting me. He flat out tells her "I need to talk it over with BettyRay first" I think BM is finally getting it.

~BettyRay

Wicked2Three's picture

How nice! It sounds like your house is really doing well. I will hold out hope for my situation after hearing yours. I try to do the same research on my own to find out kids schedules for DH. Unfortunately I had to threaten BM a few weeks ago that I would only reimburse 1/2 of the medical expenses AT MY LEISURE if I or DH had not been informed of appointments prior to them happening and certainly prior to receiving a bill.

Thanks for the hope.

BettyRay's picture

Wicked2Three it's still a struggle at times, especially the doctor appt's. BM is really good at taking SSons to the DR. and telling FH after the fact. The last prescription for SS6 was over $200 and FH pays half. We were totally shocked to get that bill. Seems SS6 has become resistant to a lot of antibiotics, cause she takes him in for every little thing. It's such a pain.

~BettyRay
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