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Back to School

BettyRay's picture

It was a wonderful summer, mainly because SS22 is out of our house. Yahoo

SS22 moved out after graduation, DH and I were going to charge him rent and also require him to help around the house. He decided to move back to BM’s house. He just got an apartment near Uber-Expensive-University Campus he graduated from. The only reason he got his own place is because SF put his foot down and started charging SS22 rent.

SS22’s GF was primarily responsible for him moving, she found him a bunch of apartments and filled out the applications, all he had to do was look at them and choose one. GF was complaining about SS22 not looking for apartments by hmself, I told her to step out of it and let him do it on his own. She doesn’t understand that the more she does for SS22 the less growing up he has to do. From what SS22 said to DH, I got the impression that he’s not ready to move on from his college days.  He wants to be the big fish in a little pond.

How does SS22 thank his GF? He bailed on her when she needed his help moving to her new apartment (in College Town an hour and a half away) When she cried to DH and me, I told her that actions speak louder than words. If SS22 really want to help her, he would have. DH told her she needs to let SS22 be on his own even if that means breaking up with him.

DH has become increasingly angry with SS22. SS22 only calls/texts when he wants something from DH, which doesn’t surprise me at all. For example, DH and I are dropping off SS22’s desk at his new place this week. To be honest I don’t think SS22 would have told us he had moved and what his new address is except that he wanted the desk that was in his old room at our house. Which we are happy to get rid of as SS22 defaced it and broke the chair anyway. SS22 “invited” us over to “see” his new place and by-the-way could we bring the desk with us when we come. DH fell for that one, amateur.

What SS22 doesn’t realize is DH and I are also boxing up everything SS22 left behind and we’ll be dropping that off too. DH is actually taking the lead on this. We’re going to turn SS22’s bedroom back into an den/office/guest room.  We already picked out a cute futon sofa and writing desk. SS22’s bed is going to the dump – it’s so gross – SS22 never washed the sheets.

SS17 is doing great in his senior year of high school. He just had his graduation pictures taken.  I hope he keeps his grades up. SS17 got into the Dual program and is learning CNC Machining at Tech College in the morning and going to high school in the afternoon. SS17 seems to really like Tech school, which is awesome.

~BettyRay

Comments

CLove's picture

Let the games begin, however - good for you for getting ALL his garbage out - not just the desk. For some reason Skids think we need to keep their stuff in our homes, like a shrine or something!

When SD20 Feral Forger was 18, and graduated high school, she got a job and just started living somewhere else, without any communication with us. Just up and left ALL her things, her clothes and her half-used personal products, her trash, her dirty laundry...

So guess what? After about 8 months of that, we took the door off, took EVERYTHING out and I repacked things I thought she might want into bins. Donated 8 bags of things. Took out more than 6 bags of pure knarly trash. Took out the bed and electric bed base that we maybe could have sold, took out the dressers and vanity and sold those. Put in a fish tank, many plants, many beautful objects, my clothes and craft items.

LoL, she actually got mad because I was forced to go through her things and because a year and a half later she wanted her room back. Texted DH some ugly ranting things.

Hopefully SS doesnt plan on moving back any time soon!

BettyRay's picture

SS22 moved out with his BFF freshman year of college. When his BFF didn't invite him back sophmore year he moved in with us.

We kept the room a shrine that time, not this time. DH told him he's not welcome back unless there is some horrible event like a fire or something that would destroy where he is living.

~BettyRay

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Great update, Betty Ray.

I'm so glad you got the black cloud out of your home, and it's even better that your DH has had enough. 

Never, never, ever let that adult skid back in.

BettyRay's picture

DH is really enjoying not having SS22 living with us. The other day DH said to me,  "I love SS22 but I don't ever want him back living with us. It's so much nicer around here without him."

DH has also acknowledged SS22's negative treatment of me. It was a long time coming.

~BettyRay 

thinkthrice's picture

to appreciate empty nesting.  My bios launched long ago as productive citizens.  

Chef used to be soooooo kid-centric it was PA-thetic!!! He was all "coochie coo" and would marvel at the under 5 set.  

Now that he's older,  noise, especially bratty kid noise irritates him.  He know longer thinks all kids are cuuuuuute.

SteppedOut's picture

Well it sounds like the younger SS is doing well at least!

My brother is a CNC machinist and does quite well for himself. From what he has said, there are ALWAYS jobs available - too much of a college push and not enough people getting into "trades". Even if younger SS decides to go to college, it will be a good job that he can do while attending. 

BettyRay's picture

SS17 doesn't want to go to a 4 year college. He wants to continue on and get his CNC certifiction. He may learn another trade, welding or electrical. He has a good sense of self and has already realized that 4 year college isn't his thing. DH and I have never pushed college on either of the Skids, I think a career in the trades will open a lot of doors for him.

~BettyRay

theoldredhen's picture

Hey, BettyRay,

I've been a ST member for 3 years, a mere newbie as compared to your 11+ years of experience/torment. In past blogs, you've revealed an almost saintly restraint that has earned both my respect and admiration.

Had your older SS been mine, he'd have, long ago, shuffled off his mortal coil. The only constructive thing to say about the little prick is that he has finally departed.

Hon, you made it to the finish line with your marriage and self respect intact. Well done! Give rose

BettyRay's picture

I've been reflecting a lot on my stepmom journey. I feel dissappointment on how SS22 has developed. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I helped to raise such a selfish, cheap person. His selfishness in not something that DH and I modeled. SS22 was given and provided so much and yet he is the most entitled person I have ever encountered.

~BettyRay