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BM & Skids Moving in with BM's SO

BettyRay's picture

Lots of change for the skids in the next couple of months:

BM and her SO bought a house together and are moving in together within the next 2 weeks. This is the first guy that BM has introduced the skids to since the divorce 10+ years ago.

BM’s SO is ex-military and OCD as in there is a place for everything and everything in its place. DH and I met him at various schools events last year and he seems like a nice guy. IMHO he has no idea what he’s getting into.

BM has consistently let the skids run the house. BM tries hard to be their friend and doesn't like it when the boys are angry with her. Her form of discipline is calling DH and having him lay into the skids when there’s a problem at her house and DH is dumb enough to do it, but I digress.

SS17 is starting senior year of HS and was accepted into a trade program where he goes to HS in the morning and tech college in the afternoon. He’s also addicted to video-gaming and stays up till all hours playing online. SS17 told BM and her SO that SO needs to wire every room in the house for internet and that they need to get him a projection TV for his room. BM and her SO thought it was so cute that he said that (more like demanded). DH and I see it as a huge red flag of trouble ahead, DH thinks SO and SS17 will be fighting a lot.

BM & SS12's doctor, have decided to take SS12 off his ADD med and also his Cingular for Asthma (he hasn’t had an asthma attack in 9 years). Well DH is okay with him being off both meds I think it may be a problem as BM’s SO has 2 cats and SS12 has a mild allergy to cats. BM and SS12 assured DH that his bedroom door will be closed at all times. BUT SS12 loves animals and I can see him letting the cats in his room and then having an allergic reaction/asthma attack. I can also see BM’s SO getting extremely frustrated with SS12 because of the ADD he has a hard time following direction. It has taken me years to get to a point to where I don’t get angry at SS12 for not following through with chores. SS12 can’t handle more than one direction at a time.

Also BM, SS17 and SS12 are all unorganized; wait till the last minute, slobs. I can see BM’s SO freaking out over the cleanliness issues and schedule changes. DH and I still have to remind SS17 to wear deodorant and comb his hair. And SS12 doesn't brush his teeth unless DH is standing in the bathroom watching. SS12 just got yelled at by the orthodontist for not brushing his teeth.

Grab a comfortable seat and some popcorn STALKERS the next couple of months should be pretty interesting.

~BettyRay

Comments

ksmom14's picture

Well geez I would hope that BM's SO would be aware of the way she runs her house if he's been around since at least last year? Otherwise this is going to be an interesting situation!

As for the asthma, I had it when I was younger (still technically do) and I have allergies to animals...and was also on Cingular! I went off it after a few years and I was fine, just make sure he still has a fast acting inhaler still for attacks, and hopefully it won't be a problem.

BettyRay's picture

BM'S SO had never seen the boys rooms until a week ago. :jawdrop: From what BM told DH her SO totally freaked out; BM told DH that the boys would be having weekly room inspections after they move. To be prepared for the backlash. DH suggest the 4 of them have a family meeting and set up house rules BEFORE the move. We haven't heard anything from the boys since so this may get ugly.

DH had wondered for a long time before he knew about her SO what was going on with BM because the boys were complaining that she was making them keep the apartment clean ie. common areas.

As for the asthma DH/we insisted on new inhalers for SS12.

~BettyRay

BettyRay's picture

DH is secure and is looking at the positive side which for him is that if BM is happy it will be a better environment for the skids.

DH (and I) have been encouraging the skids. Our mantra when SO or the move comes up is compromise and respect. Everyone needs to respect each other and the common areas of the house are not theirs to dominate or destroy. BM & SO are probably very nervous about the move and everyone needs to treat each other with respect and compromise their wants so that they can combine households successfully.

~BettyRay