While also wanting to keep their spouse and think their spouse should focus almost solely on their "new family".
Folks, I get disengaging when either your spouse or SK is being obtuse. I get closing your home to a violent and/or dangerous SK. I get saying NO to adult SKs.
But if you have a school-aged SK who acts out, or minor SKs whose CP is no longer capable of providing care, the responsibility to address and fix that situation falls on your spouse.
DH and I are mega-nerds (okay, he is the mega-nerd; I'm just a nerd). One of our (his) favorite performance group is hosting a live show this summer, and tickets sell out insanely fast. As in, in less than 30 minutes, tickets costing several hundred dollars each were GONE.
Guess who got tickets? In the 4th row? Center?
I win Wife of the Year.
It was a few rough months of Disney Dad re-emerging, but the DH I know and love is BACK!
Over the weekend, there was a kid thing, and I went with DH because it was on a side of town with stuff to do so we were going to make a day of it after. We show up to the thing, caffeine in hand, to see BM, GBM, MIL, and YSS waiting around for the thing to start (OSS was participating in said thing).
CSB sent their annual fee letter today, and all I could muster was a roll of the eyes.
Yeah, I'm bitter that DH has to spend $50+ a year in fees, in addition to biweekly fees tacked on to his CS payment, for the pleasure of using a system that he has zero choice in using.
Am I going to let this eat at me? Of course not. But I need to let it out.
Anyone else need to let out some CS grievances?
DH and I were chatting earlier this week about STalk (yes, we chat about it from time to time) and I told him about my "Taking Bets" post.
If you didn't read it, the quick-and-dirty is that YSS is failing many classes, semi-wants to go to DC as part of a school trip, and it's stupidly expensive. DH initially said no, but I feared he would give in.
So, I tell him what I posted and reminded him that it's me venting so it's not very flattering. I tell him my fears, including that BM would scrap together the deposit and he'd end up paying the rest.
I'm inclined to think he will say no because of how disappointed he is in YSS right now.
As I mentioned on the last episode of As The Stepmom's Head Turns, YSS is failing 3 classes, mostly because of missing assignments. So, it's not an issue of not understanding. It's an issue of not doing the work. And if it is an issue of not understanding, he hasn't mentioned it to any of us.
I know this topic pops up from time to time, but I just had a new thought and wanted to hear from others what they think would create the "perfect" CS system.
My new thought? Treat CS accounts like HSA accounts (for those outside the US, an HSA is a Health Savings Account; you can save money throughout the year in the account pre-tax to be spent on medical expenses, and if you use it on non-medical expenses, you pay something like a 20% tax on those goods on top of whatever local tax you paid to buy it).
I hate that I have to bring this up, but this year hasn't been off to great start.
Found out a friend's grandfather died. This friend is one we game with on non-kid weekends, and he is a colleague of mine.
What is proper etiquette? Send a card? Card and flowers? Send nothing? I don't know his family, just him.
Is there a flow chart somewhere that you can put in the characteristics of the relationship and get a "do this" response? Unfortunately, I am hitting the age where this is going to start happening more frequently, so this isn't a one-time-only deal.
The good: OSS had a band competition two weekends ago. Received gold medals. Overall, excellent job!
The bad: YSS is failing half his classes while getting A's in the others. Two of the classes are taught by the same teacher, and YSS doesn't like her method of teaching. We (even I) have had conversations since the beginning of the year about how to address those issues with his teacher.
Has he done that? Nope.
DH and I had a very logical discussion last night about my issues regarding BM. I explained that I feel like he is putting me in a no-win situation: he doesn't like me disengaging, he doesn't want to fully separate finances (I don't either because it feels too tot-for-tat), he doesn't want me addressing BM directly, and he doesn't want me blowing my frustration and anger at him.