STalkers, give me the strength to disengage...
Found out today that OSS had "his" car impounded. And by "his" car, I mean the one titled to DH and I that we pay the car insurance and registration on and allow OSS to drive.
Why was the car impounded you might ask? Well, OSS forgot to move it before a football game...THEN FORGOT ABOUT IT FOR TWO WEEKS. By the time he realized it was gone, he owed $500.
Guess who didn't have $500? Guess who called ET and ET somehow had $500? Guess who told OSS she doesn't need the money back?
I'm thinking of taking my name off the title and letting DH do as he wishes with the car. He didn't want me to jump down OSS's throat, which is fair, but he also got upset with me when I spoke up about it because it was making OSS uncomfortable.
Cool. I'm out on the OSS front then. How the kid who is supposedly working and whose only expenses are his toiletries doesn't have $500 is beyond me. My growing fear over the last two years that OSS was going to crash and burn is starting to look like it might happen.
But Admiral Baby is doing great, so I'll just keep pouring all I can into her.
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Huh??
Who the hell forgets their car is in impound for TWO WEEKS????? I would definitely get my name of off anything to do with that car. In fact, I'd strongly suggest putting that car in SS's name asap. If he's not 18, on his birthday, gift him a visit to DMV. I would not trust anyone who can forget their car is impounded for two weeks. Liability is huge with vehicles. Hell, even with my own bio kids, their vehicles were put in their names immediately at turning 18. I much perfered the high rates for their young ages than living with the thought they'd do something stupid and we'd get sued. MIght wanna share some of that with your DH.
My thoughts exactly. How he
My thoughts exactly. How he forgot about his car is beyond me, but also tells me he hasn't been working like he says because he would need his car for work. The more I think about the situation, the more upset it makes me. I don't want to argue about it, but I think it's time the car be gifted over to OSS.
Oh, and he's 20. Nearly 21. He has gotten help because he is in school. However, this is the second time he forgot to move his car so I'm way done.
Oh hell no.
Not wanting to hurt is POhS failed family son's fee fees... nope,
Take the car. Sell it, and introduce the failed family spawn to his shoes. He can walk.
If the Skidiot can leave and "forget" a car for 2wks, he does not need a car.
Time for the adult lessons in life.
Do not let dipshit daddy cater to this crap. He needs to find his balls and use them in his parenting of the Skidiot.
Won't sell the car, will just
Won't sell the car, will just give it to YSK. It's a reliable car in great condition - and totally paid off. Not a chance I'm selling it lol.
This just makes me sad. I do care about OSS and want to see him succeed but DAMN has he made some really stupid moves recently. Being afraid of his dad's reaction is BS, too, since DH has been extra soft.
I probably won't be able to stay quiet, as much as I'd like to not worry about this crap.
You shouldn't have to stay quiet
Thia affects you life as well!
This issue isn't having to
This issue isn't having to stay quiet. Lord knows I open my mouth and voice my opinion often.
I just don't know that I have the energy and want to do it. I know where the title of the car is. I could easily sign it and hand it to DH to deal with. If he wants to talk after that, so be it. But I have a 4 month old now and YSK is making strides to launch, so I'd much rather focus my energy there.
Meh
I would not allow one Cent of family resources to go to the support of OSS. That daddy is wasting resources better focused on YSS and DS-4mo is mind boggling to me.
What's up with not wanting to
What's up with not wanting to make the adult skid "uncomfortable?" How is that helping OSS in the long run? I'd want to get the car out of my name and disengage, too.
I have no idea. OSS isn't
I have no idea. OSS isn't even facing consequences for this since ET doesn't want to be repaid (another irritation of mine). He wasn't even going to tell DH; ET outed him. That alone I figured would send him off, but apparently not.
Flashback
I'm having a flashback to when my DSnow58 was in the Army. He'd enlisted at 19 when he go his GF pregnant and married her. They were stationed at an East coast base and one time when they flew home, he parked his car in front of the airport to dislodge her and the baby and FORGOT IT! There was a harrowing episode in retrieving it later. Crazy times....
At least your DS had the
At least your DS had the excuse of new baby and trying to travel. OSS is in his third year of college. He knows this drill by now. This was something else.
Is ss on drugs??
Because you don't drive your car to a football game and forget its there for 2 weeks. If you claim you forgot car was there and it got impounded, you don't deserve to drive or own a car because you have proven you aren't responsible enough.
its like saying i went to shops with kids and left kid in car, did grocery shopping and took public transport home and it took me 2 weeks to realise car with my kid was in carpark for 2 weeks. Thats the analogy i would use to explain to my husband how stupid skid is being if he had done that
To clarify, he didn't drive
To clarify, he didn't drive to the game. His designated parking area on campus is the same that is used during football games. Students have to move their cars on game days. It's annoying, but you get used to it. The school even sends out MULTIPLE reminders to move the car (I went to the same school so I know the protocol). If OSS were a freshman, I would get forgetting to move it. But this is his third year and not the first time he forgot! Last time he remembered in enough time that he wasn't towed, only ticketed.
super frustrating!
Id just completely let loose with my thoughts on that one.
Yeah, YSS can get the car, OSS obviously doesnt need transport, and if he does ET can do it, because she likes enabling...
I do not buy his story for
I do not buy his story for one bit.
It definitely does not pass the smell test.
That is for sure.
Well the apple doesn’t fall
Well the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…sounds like OSS is starting to take pages our of ET’s playbook of irresponsibility and lack of accountability. Why your DH is okay with this and doesn’t want you saying anything is strange…like would he do the same if Admiral Baby did something like this in future? Or would he hold that kid to a higher standard?
Wow, this is the second time?
Wow, this is the second time? And SS consealed it from you?? There should definitely be some type of consequences for that, and his finances also need to be discussed.
I've told the story of discovering YSD19 hadn't been paying the insurance on the car I let her drive. Moreover, she'd been making fake payment stubs FOR MONTHS to convince us that she had. AND she'd been hiding the fact she'd dropped out of community college, still leaving the house each morning in my UNINSURED car! The breadth of this deception meant she never drove my car again - keys were taken away, and I donated it to charity a few months later.
If ET wants to swoop in and be the hero, let her. She can get OSS some new wheels.
I would get the car out of my
I would get the car out of my name.. for sure.. in fact.. I might suggest your DH also just sign it all over to his son.. so that there is no liability/blow back on you guys if the kid pulls some bonehead move.
In the end.. he did get someone else to bail him out.. so there is that.. haha.
Yep, give him 30 days to get
Yep, give him 30 days to get insurance in his name and mail him the title all signed over to him (make a copy for your records and send another copy to the DMV). Tell him he has to go to the DMV and get his new registration.
If the car were in my name, I would have it repossessed.
My dad has a long time friend/colleague whose adult son left a car owned by dad's friend in a grocery parking lot for months because it would not start. The son is a dead beat SAHD of two young kids whose wife was the sole earner. GrandPa kept bailing out the idiot adult son. Over, and over, and over. The son is not brain dead and in fact has a BS in Computational Physics from a highly regarded University. He just has zero ability to live as an adult.
When it came to light that the car was being hauled off, the son "gave" it away to avoid having to pay for tons of tow and storage fees. Of course, the kid did not own it so... daddy had to deal with it.
SInce the car incident, the dipshitiot's wife ran off with a BoyFriend taking both of their kids out of the legally acceptable 100Mile radius, has given birth to cheat spawn twins, dad's friend is buying the not yet XW out of her half of the Condo that he bought for his son and STBXDIL as a wedding gift, and ... letting his idiot son continue to exploit him.
Dad repeatedly bangs his head against a wall trying to get his friend to pull his head out of his ass and cut the dipshitiot son loose.
Nope, it goes on, and on, and on. Never ending zero accountability support because "I can't make my grandkids homeless".
Most sad, the friend's other child is also a highly educated individual who is thriving. The dipshitiot falied adult child is just too spe-cial to give up on his dreams and actually work.
Sounds like he doesn't really
Sounds like he doesn't really need a car if he forgot that it existed for two weeks...
Reminds me of the time my cousin got her car repo'd for non-payment. This was the car she purchased after trading in the car her parents gave to her because she wanted something nicer. She didn't have to pay a dime for the gifted car. The insurance had also been cancelled on the car at least once for non-payment. To make matters worse, she kept all the tools and supplies she needed for work in the car, so those went with the repo man, too. She had to go beg to get those back.
We didn't buy SS a car....but....
After almost a year living on my couch, and only getting up to smoke outside, my DH said to me..."we should buy him a used car so that he can look for work." I lost my shit, everything that had built up to that point. An hour later, he was packed and loaded into his friends car (whom he called and said "get me away from her). He hugged his dad (didn't thank him), looked at me, called me not so nice names, and drove off (I should have lost it sooner). He has had several cars since (the first used one was from my parent's college bond for him, the second from a Grandmas inheritence), but none in our name. I can't wrap my head around your SS not thinking of his car for two weeks. And he was bailed out. I hope you can get free of helping him out monetarily, soon.