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SeeYouNever's Blog

Excuses for poor little children of divorce

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DH used to always make excuses for SD14s behavior. Things would get broken or go missing and DH always blamed someone else. My computer screen got cracked and he blamed me for it even though SD had been touching it. Then he said that he broke it, or I must have broken it. He would rather take the blame himself (that's how I KNOW SD did it). Messes are always someone else's fault even if he sees her leaving them. 

Been there done that

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We went to an orchard this weekend. As we drove up my husband said "SD loved this place when she was little." Then we parked and he said "I'm going to stay in the car with the baby and have a nap, you guys have fun."

So the toddler and I went and picked fruit, she had fun but I felt so sad. DH had been there done that with SD and couldn't be bothered to mosey around an orchard with our kids. 

BM pretending to be SD

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BM doesn't even bother to change her style of writing when she's texting from SD's phone to me and DH. Usually I catch on first but this time my DH pointed it out to me. The last few messages were very formal like a work email and SD usually texts with lots or emojis. 

SD has her own phone but it seems like BM holds it and her hostage. My DH and I looked over our messages and we now think that we haven't spoken to the "real" SD since she was last at our house.  

The Pile

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Does anyone else have a pile or bag of gifts/things that people leave for SKs at your house? SD will sometimes go months without seeing us at our house so "the pile" just accumulates. Usually it was holiday stuff or sporadic gifts and tribute to SD. Now that DH and I have kids together every time people get something for our toddler and baby they get something for SD. The result is it's like Christmas everytime she gets here. 

OT - DH asks for financial advice but thinks I want to steal his money

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DH continues to take things out on me. BM has been contacting him near daily to discuss the SD braces situation. Every time he talks to BM he starts regarding me with suspicion. We usually get along fine but after talking to BM he stops trusting me and gets one of those all women are like that (AWALT) mindsets.

The world stops when BM has a problem

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Why does the world stop when BM calls with a problem? BM had an issue accessing DHs insurance so she called complain like it was the end of the world as he pulled in the driveway after work. He then goes into freakout mode and has to take care of it immediately, ignoring me, my and ignoring our kids. He walks in and dumps the food the bought for our friends that were coming over and focuses entirely on the issue at hand. He didn't even greet us. It doesn't actually take long to handle he just had to wait to boot up his computer and call customer service.

Does anyone have a DH that only cleans when the Skids are visiting?

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Ok  that's an exaggeration, DH does clean on occasion, but he cleans a whole lot more when we are expecting SD. What would be ideal is if he went on his cleaning spree after she left!

We have other people over pretty regularly and he doesn't clean when they are coming. When were expecting SD he also starts to get very short with me like however clean the house is normally is suddenly not acceptable and it's definitely my fault. 

DH has more money than brains

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I know I'm being petty but my husband is so annoying. 

We have 2 little kids, that means 2 car seats. 

We see SD14 sporadically, and when we do it's only when my SIL picks her up. SD14 only agrees to see us when SIL tags along. 

My husband goes from one day complaining about how much kids cost to spending over $600 on a 2nd set of car seats that are narrower... So SD can be more comfortable in the car.

Kids are money pits part 2

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I think Lt Dad was exactly right in my previous blog about when there isn't much affection, relationship or visitation then sending CS becomes the only parental contribution for a NCP and therefore the only thing they have to be proud of. It's true he has very little influence over SD14 and she avoids seeing us or making a real connection. She has been PASed for years but puts on a fake affection show. 

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