DH used to always make excuses for SD14s behavior. Things would get broken or go missing and DH always blamed someone else. My computer screen got cracked and he blamed me for it even though SD had been touching it. Then he said that he broke it, or I must have broken it. He would rather take the blame himself (that's how I KNOW SD did it). Messes are always someone else's fault even if he sees her leaving them. 

BM doesn't even bother to change her style of writing when she's texting from SD's phone to me and DH. Usually I catch on first but this time my DH pointed it out to me. The last few messages were very formal like a work email and SD usually texts with lots or emojis. 

SD has her own phone but it seems like BM holds it and her hostage. My DH and I looked over our messages and we now think that we haven't spoken to the "real" SD since she was last at our house.  

Does anyone else have a pile or bag of gifts/things that people leave for SKs at your house? SD will sometimes go months without seeing us at our house so "the pile" just accumulates. Usually it was holiday stuff or sporadic gifts and tribute to SD. Now that DH and I have kids together every time people get something for our toddler and baby they get something for SD. The result is it's like Christmas everytime she gets here. 

Why does the world stop when BM calls with a problem? BM had an issue accessing DHs insurance so she called complain like it was the end of the world as he pulled in the driveway after work. He then goes into freakout mode and has to take care of it immediately, ignoring me, my and ignoring our kids. He walks in and dumps the food the bought for our friends that were coming over and focuses entirely on the issue at hand. He didn't even greet us. It doesn't actually take long to handle he just had to wait to boot up his computer and call customer service.