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SD's predictable mysterious health crisis

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Yesterday we had a health scare with our 1-year-old DD, my husband was quite upset because he was the one that had to take her to get blood drawn and it takes five people to get a tube of blood out of a baby. We are awaiting test results for something that might be quite serious. 

It's not like BM or SD12 knew about this but it just so happened that SD had her own health "crisis" which managed to completely overshadow DD. It's always like this no matter what is going on with our lives it all grinds to a halt if anything is going on with SD.

SD got more gifts for my DD Birthday

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We successfully got the rest of my in laws to stay away this weekend and only have SD12 and SIL. My husband backed me up and agrees we shouldnt really see anyone until COVID is under control, maybe next year. YAY! What helped was buying him a book about emotional blackmail which he has been reading every time he's in the bathroom taking a poop. I'm so proud of him for enforcing this boundary. I hope he keeps it up now that he sees it works.

Pre skid weekend chores

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The whole in-law gang plus sd12 are going to be coming this weekend for my daughter's first birthday even though I didn't want to have any celebration this year due to covid. Great.

That means that starting about Wednesday my anxiety level begins to creep up. I asked my husband to limit the guests to just his sister and SD but we already know that none of them are going to respect the boundaries that we set. Yesterday at the grocery store my husband picked up a bunch of desserts at Costco and the quantity he picked up makes it clear that he expects everyone to come. 

Let's just do the opposite of what I want

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Well SIL got SD12 this weekend for a family birthday party, with last minute notice. We were out of town seeing my parents which we had planned for over a month. On the drive home my husband felt guilty and wanted to see SD since SIL had been guilting him about not being around this weekend. (Oh so we should leave our schedules open for your whims?) So we dropped by the house to see them after driving 6 hours. 

A lovely surprise (Not!)

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There are a lot of birthdays on my DHs side this time of year. Basically every other weekend for Sept and Oct. It's annoying because they expect everyone to throw a full on birthday party and we are expected to go to all of them which eats up half of our lovely fall weekends. My DH opted out his own, our nephew's, our neice's birthdays and we aren't even throwing a 1st birthday for our own daughter because I'm pregnant and it's a pandemic.

Any super strict BMs?

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I know it is more of a problem when BM is permissive but does anybody have the opposite problem and a BM that is overly strict?

SD12 is constantly severely punished. She is grounded and has her phone taken away from her nearly all the time. She can be a spoiled brat but she is a typical tween and these punishments seem excessive. I have come to believe that it is more of a control measure than a punishment. 

Do you ever feel bad for your SO?

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My husband has no one can really talk about SD with, no one he can remember fond memories of her babyhood with. Whenever he does talk to me about her I can't really respond because he will immediately get defensive if he thinks I'm being the slightest bit negative. Since I can't pretend to be excited about somebody else's kid I just try to stay neutral.

Getting rid of SDs toys

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I am cleaning out our spare bedroom (SD's room, sorta) in preparation to fix it up as a nursery for my second baby. For those of you keeping track I won that fight! my husband was resistant to giving this room to our second baby because I suspected he wanted to keep it available for SD when she graduates high school in 6 years.