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SeeYouNever's Blog

SM and BM hanging out in the afterlife

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My Brother's FIL lost his wife, my SIL's SM, about a year ago. Today he posted a sad but sweet birthday wish for her and thanking her for the best years of his life. This man has been married 3 or so times and has multiple ex BMs and sets of kids. My SIL is the youngest and was just one of a harem of adult mini wives.

One of his daughter's commented under his sad birthday post to his DECEASED WIFE "I love you daddy!  I know SM is smiling on you and loving you. She's with BM and celebrating the love they share for you, your kids and family"

Throwing money away

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SD15s birthday is coming up. I'm honestly not even sure when DH has last spoken to her or gotten a message reply. BM still asks for money monthly for SDs extracurriculars and DH pays who knows if she's still doing them.

DH has no idea what to give her and is thinking about just sending a $1000 gift card. That's a lot of money for someone that won't speak to you!  He might get a 2 minute phonecall out of this... She didn't acknowledge her Christmas gifts.

My SIL's SM is on her deathbed

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My brother's wife is the youngest child of a guy who has been married 4 times. I will refer to her as daddys little princess from now on (she's 29 by the way) BM3 is her mom and he's currently married to SM who is dying of cancer. She has her own kids from a previous marriage too. BM3 never remarried and is insufferable and obnoxious. SM was a firecracker and had her obnoxious moments as well (dad has a type). When I met her she introduced herself as "the evil step mom" and I said "hey me too!"

Family memberships

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This is super petty and I know it. We have memberships to a bunch of different museums and things like that in our area. We go all the time to all the events. Every other weekend there is something to do.

We have family memberships and have to list the children and ages so we list our kids and SD15. In all the years we have had these family memberships do you know how many times SD15 has gone with us to anything?

Big fat zero!

What was the turning point for you?

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What was the turning point in your step life? It seems everyone is on the before or after of disengagement and otherwise being over it.

I never liked the idea of being a stepmom but I gave it an honest go for a while.

For me the turning point was when SD got her own cell phone and never answered DH or me unless it was a holiday or she wanted something. DH couldnt blame BM for interfering with their relationship anymore. That's when I knew the alienation was complete.

DH is done with SD15

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SD15 won't talk to DH, what else is new. For a few months now he's been saying that she only talks to him when she wants something. I think SD has reached dead to him status because he doesn't even mention her anymore and he's stopped telling our kids about their older sister. Lately when he talks about our kids it seems like they are the only ones he has, like he refers to them as the first and second instead of second and third.

Ignores us IRL likes us on social media

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My SD15 will not talk to DH or me and also refuses to visit us.

However I've just noticed that she likes everything I post on Instagram within hours of when I post.

I'm not super active on social media. I use Facebook as a sort of photo gallery for my friends and family that live in other states. I don't comment much and I don't post much other than for big events and it's just family photos. SD isn't on Facebook and that's no surprise since I don't know many people who are under 30 that are!

The Delay

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Does anyone else experience the delay?

My SD15 does manage to be quite polite and pleasant most of the time. But like clockwork about 2 days to a week after DH has seen her or a holiday he will get passive aggressive or straight up aggressive messages from BM, or pouty messages from SD.

SD ignored DH from Christmas until New Year's and then managed to send him a small reply the evening of January 1st. Of course it included the standard "I'm busy" but she is constantly on her phone and posting selfies.