I would be content to only interact with SD15 for her birthday and Christmas. I feel like those are the polite bare minimums for family.
But the last few times I have brought up SD DH has not wanted to talk about her at all. I'm not sure what has happened other than her ignoring him and maybe he's moved to a new phase of accepting it. She didn't reply to him on Thanksgiving, but waited until the Saturday after at 11pm. DH usually tells me all about their interaction, this time he just said "we texted."
Or older for your poor souls that were on the hook for CS until the "child" is 23.
What really happened when they turned 18?
My DH and I are daring to start to get excited about CS ending. We'll have a vacation fund! He can put money towards our kids college! Home renovation! Investments! $1200 extra a month!!! I could buy a boat!
We have a 3 BR house. When we moved in SD got a room but it was never really decorated. We tried to get her to pick stuff out but she wasn't interested. I figured if DH wanted it set up he could spend the money to do it. It became the SD/Guest room.
I haven't posted much because there isn't much to say when things go well. There as been a few visits with SD and DHs family that were brief and our boundaries were respected. No drama. Good news.
A friend of DHs family died suddenly, one of his sisters called him to tell him and said she had "already reached out to BM." Ugh.
SD15 starts school this week so BM allowed DH to get her for the back-to-school-shopathon for clothes and shoes. This is an annoying yet expected experience every year
My meddlesome SIL tagged along for the shopping spree because of course. DH was on the way to pick up SD15 and SIL informed him she got her already. We had no idea SIL even knew DH was getting SD.
SIL makes it too many people to fit in one car so she and SD drive separately. God forbid DH and our family would get any time with SD without SILs supervision.
Jcksjj's last post about her insane in laws gave me a revelation about mine.
My in laws are all quick to say DH is a bad dad because he doesn't see SD or them much and that I'm controlling him. The reality is SD is spoiled and PASed by BM and my in laws are always drama.
My in laws will dogpile on DH to tell him what he's doing wrong and what they think he should be doing, of course they don't have the full story and think he's neglecting SD. One of my SILs favorite things to get at DH is to tell him "You're just like FIL."
Just annoyed with "D"H.
SD15 was here my entire in law clan plus her showed up on a Saturday when my husband had to work. I am still mad at him for pawning them off on me. He doesn't want to deal with his own family and they always bring SD along when they want to come over and know that if SD is with them we can't say no .
My told my DH to work things out with his family and if they want to make plans with me then they need to talk to me. Right after that my SIL reached out, she still hasn't planned anything. She just told me she has been talking to BM and "I get to get SD for the weekend" and she wants the whole family to meet up at the beach or a park for her birthday (SIL's).
The weekend with SD15 is over. It's clear she's jealous of our kids. She had no problem with them when they were tiny now that they're becoming real people she's got a problem. We had to rationalize and defend everything we did for them, from the fact that they "get" to go to daycare (ah yes I get to spend 10s of thousands on daycare) down to giving them bowls for chips rather than let them take from a larger bowl like the 3 grown people. SD acted like anything we did was giving them special treatment.
Since it's not a weekend for parties or holidays SD15 decided to grace is with her presence. I was a bit annoyed that I didn't know about this until Wednesday and he picked her up Thursday to stay a long weekend. Anyway...