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BM won but still rubs it in

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The past weekend was father's day and SD sent DH a text mid day. Very formal "Happy Father's Day I hope the day finds you well love you miss you." Her birthday is next week so she's been a bit more responsive this month because she's angling for a new iPhone. DH has told her no on that so she's dropped off talking to him again. He tried to call a few times father's day weekend, no answer. 

You could set your watch by this

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It's so predictable. From Thanksgiving to Christmas and the month before her birthday SD will talk to DH almost daily whereas normally it's weeks or over a month between contact. It's obvious it's all about gifts because she won't give him the time of day in between.

She has responded nearly every time DH has reached out to her so far this month. Of course it's because DH has just been asking about what to get her for her birthday. He's already sent a few gifts and it seems like he's planning to send them every few days all month. 

Birthday season

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Like clockwork my SD14 will start talking to DH more about a month before her birthday and before Christmas. Well her birthday is a month out so she actually answered DHs call today! 

DH, fearing that he won't get another response from SD before her birthday, asks her what she wants. She says a new phone and that BM won't buy it for her. DH says "I'm not interested in getting you a new phone since you hardly ever answer my calls on this one." Oh man bravo DH! Calling her out and setting a boundary! 

Passing along the inconvenience to me

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My DH left me with paperwork to mail to BM to give her permission to take SD out of the country on a vacation. She refused to tell DH what the actual dates are she just wanted a blanket statement that she's allowed to take SD out of the country. He has not been in a hurry to get this done because the post office opens after he goes to work and closes before he gets out. He also had to go find a notary so it was some tedious busy work.

Update on my DHs family

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Spanish SIL(DHs half sister) got married. My MIL, FIL and their two other kids (SILs) went for the wedding. We found out about it on Spanish sil's new husband's Instagram, not even Facebook. The whole thing was very hush hush and I don't think they even wanted DH to find out about it. It's so weird he is clearly the black sheep of their family now. He is quite sad about it but in the next breath he will say that I am his family now and he doesn't need them. Still it is pretty sad when your family of origin wants nothing to do with you.

Why can't they say no?

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Why can't these guys say no to BM or the Skids? They sure can say no to us! If it's guilt then why don't they feel guilt for bringing us into the dysfunction? 

Is it really as simple as guilt and fear? And if it is why the hell can't they get past it after YEARS? And if they're afraid of BM witholding the skids or turning them against them, do they mean more than the current level? Do the BMs and skids ever actually play nice when they get their demands met or do they just make more demands?


SD14s stepdad has covid

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Which means everyone in the house has covid. BM told DH trying to get sympathy. BM and the lot are all anti-vax. Sorry but I have no sympathy for antivaxers that get covid and then whine about it. DH has little sympathy but he's worried about SD and it's distracting him. Of course SD is not talking to him and all the updates about her sore throat and sniffles are coming from BM.