Long story short.. I found out DH had been snorting cocaine and racked up 5k debt for it.
We'd been on the rocks since August last year.. it got kind of worse through all the ss BS in the fall.. and come December... I was finito.
It did take me until May to get my ducks in a row... then I left for a glorious 12 day trip to Michigan at the end of May. The hoops I had to jump through, pandemic wise, to take this trip was nutso bananas.. but while I was down there I did a lot of thinking.
Allegations were that apparently we throw plates that smash everywhere when we fight... and that we fought so hard at our trailer that cops were called
1) nope...no plates thrown. My kids laughed at her. When we fight, it's usually at night and in the garage...or through text so little ears don't hear.
This morning I asked DH if he had talked to ss over the weekend about what might have been said in school.. his response was that he did, and that the kid said "No dad...I didn't say anything...not about you!"
Now dh can be stupid.
I don't know if any of you picked up on that...and maybe it's my brain going in overdrive...
"Not about you!"
But about SOMEBODY... right?
Covid took its toll on everyone. I'm sure that plays a part in all this... ss has been having issues with lying, as do many kids. Back in May, I posted that DH had been doing good with the realization that maybe I was right all along and that he needed to make some changes as to how he dealt with ss.
Crossroads is a mental health organization that (among other things) helps deal with difficult children.
In doing so, they offer "parenting classes".
Dh is "going to them" (through zoom type programs), and I'm sitting in.
Collaborative problem solving.... dh has finally realized what I've been telling him all along.... he doesn't dick around with me as much as with him because I naturally "parent" the way they're teaching dh to "parent".
I say "parent", but what I really mean is the way we handle situations.
In my last post about Child Tax benefit, long story short BM owes back half what she received in the last 3 years back to the CRA (equivalent of IRS in Canada) and I got the half our home should have received.
Turns out, she suckered DH into signing a letter stating SS was only in our home officially week on week off since July 2019.
First off..."officially" it's been since end of October 2019. On paper. Signed by both parents.
Timeline of events:
I filed for child tax benefits going forward.
BM received a letter indicating that she would be receiving half the child tax benefits she's currently receiving, going forward.
BM threw a fit.
I sent in a copy of their agreement...as well as a copy of all the email back and forth....which happens to include multiple references of ss being here half the time (and more) since 2016
My application was not only approved going forward.....but also approved retro 3 years.
BM is being a twunt about the schedule..she wants to stay on week on week off because NOW she has it in her head that since it's best for ss6, we should stick with it.
Yay. Truly. Progress.
Except... 25th falls on her week and she won't give up some time for Dh to have some.
Mkay dingbat... hear me now.
It's been a few weeks now where the school has been emailing every day with an update on ss.
Today was a terrrrrrrible day for ss at school. Climbing on windowsill... looking straight at teacher after she asked him to stop doing something and kept doing it anyway... 3 separate times... no written work.. just a brat all day.
Last week, he had his moments but overall a good week.
The week before, total shit. Choking another kid style shit.
Can you see a pattern? Can you guess which parent he's at on which week??
She totally shot herself in the foot and it was kinda glorious, not gonna lie.
Week on week off has been the norm for a little while now. BM can't seem to handle it... oh well.
SS hasn't been doing well in school... he's been extremely disruptive... hasn't been listening...has been refusing to do seat work... and doing severe things like hitting other kids, even going as far as choking one kid... hands around the neck strangling type choking.
Needless to say, the school has called several meetings lately to discuss.