You are here

The visit

secret's picture

Allegations were that apparently we throw plates that smash everywhere when we fight... and that we fought so hard at our trailer that cops were called

1) plates thrown. My kids laughed at her. When we fight, it's usually at night and in the garage...or through text so little ears don't hear.

2) back in June someone got evicted from our campground due to domestic violence. I went over to help the girl pack her stuff in the taxi that took her home, while her bf was being escorted out by the cops. I gave the CAS lady the campground owners info in case she wanted to verify.

She asked all kinds of questions about all kinds of stuff..  I laid out the issues we've had with the kid since last year about the lies and the kids mental health stuff... told her about all kinds of school happenings... 

My girls mic dropped though... they told her dh could benefit from parenting classes because they were SO tired of seeing ss get away with all the shit he does because dad NEVER disciplines him... and they didn't blame me for not having anything to do with the kid much anymore because I tried... but I always got pushed out.. 

She just nodded very slowly.... like "interesting...."


All is good. She said she was going to also go talk to bm but that nothing that was mentioned here would make it's way there.

She seemed to find that the behaviours as has had describes here are consistent with how the teachers are saying he behaves... and that likely his "shift in attitude" is because I no longer help to "parent" him, so he's going back to his little feral shit self.


Exjuliemccoy's picture

Where was your H during the interview? Were you interviewed separately? How did he act, during and afterwards?

Sorry, but I'm very curious about exactly what these visits entail. Was it an inspection, with the social worker poking around, or just an interview? And what happens next? Will you be able to get a copy of her findings?

Your daughters sound terrific. Those girls certainly have more clarity than your H does.

secret's picture

It was kind of funny. 

My mom introduced herself as dhs lawyer... the lady got flustered and said she hadn't realized there would be a lawyer, because she would have brought one too.

She explained she was there to primarily talk to ss and find out exactly what ss said. In private. So..

No problem.. my mom stayed in the garage with me and my kids went to finish their supper in another room. DH, however, stayed seated with them. As we were heading to the garage, we heard her say agsin she wanted to yalk to ss privately... dh still didnt move. She said she'd prefer to see ss alone, so she could be sure there was no coaching or intimidation... he still didnt seem to catch on.

Then she talked to me... I spent a lot of time with her. I was having a hard time keeping my bitch face in check, and she picked up on that... started asking questions about care... told her I used to help but that after getting shit on everytime I'd talk to dh about what his kid had done, eventually I backed off.. told her about the school stuff.. the nanny cam stuff.. the lack of discipline... that ss gets to go around the rules all the time... she also asked whether I resent the kid. 

I was truthful about that... that Yes, part of me did... bit that I also knew that kids do what they're allowed to...and that his behaviours result from dh not dealing with them... so that while it was an easy answer to say Yes, I resent ss, the real answer is that I resent his father for allowing that stuff to occur, that he's just a kid and isn't being taught any hence my disengagement...because I grew tired of the expected arguments with DH about what he wasn't dealing with... that it wasn't really about the was about dh. I told her that when I had a hand in helping to curb behaviours, we had actually been quite close... almost closer than dad.

She said she completely understood all That, and that she could see that perhaps the disengagement from me was what was triggering ss's ramped up behaviour.

That all of that was essentially validated by my kids when she spoke to them helped, I suppose.

She didn't tour the house or anything...she just asked about fire alarms.

Fyi, my living room was covered with junk - unuseable room due to the amount... she mentioned it looked like I was purging..  I said exactly. My kitchen is also not complete - some cabinet doors are off, and half the counter is missing... my hallway floor is also incomplete and I have boxes of flooring lining the hallway. Being in the very obvious middle of purging and renovating didn't faze her one bit in terms of safety etc... she didn't even check his room

ndc's picture

So basically the skid lied to your DH when he said he didn't say anything about HIM.  If he's saying the two of you fight, that's about your DH, too.  

Sounds like it went well for you, but your DH didn't come out looking like a great parent.  Maybe this will be the kick in the pants he needs to up his parenting game.

simifan's picture

Stick to your guns, do not allow this liar into your home again. This may have gone easier then you thought, but what about next time?