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Half birthday opinions

lucy girl's picture

DH and I have had a camper in a small family oriented seasonal campground for the last 5 years and we are there every weekend May through September. SS12 has many friends there and most of them have summer birthdays. We have now just been invited to the 6th party this season and we still have 3 months to go. SS's birthday is in January so he never gets to have his own party there. At home he only has one friend so he never really gets to have a party other than with family, of which, he is the only kid. All of the other "campground friends" are scattered throughout the state and live several hours away from us. Would it be tacky to have a "half birthday" party for him at the campground?

Comments

tessa12's picture

My ex-husband does something similar with our son as our situations don't allow for his dad to celebrate in person with him on his actual birthday. I actually think it's a lovely idea for children in blended families.

ESMOD's picture

It depends upon what your goal is.

Is the goal to have the kids reciprocate with gifts that he must be giving them?

Or is the goal to reciprocate for the hospitality he is shown by the hosts of these parties?

I see no problem hosting a fun party for his friends... but I would be a bit cautious of calling it a half-birthday because that seems to imply that you expect gifts for him.

bellladonna's picture

I think he's a little old for a half birthday. I see that as something for elementary school kids. Are you looking to get gifts for him? Maybe you could host an end of summer party at the end of camping season?

lucy girl's picture

All "my" goal is, is for SS to have a fun party where HE is made to feel special. I wouldn't expect gifts but I know, as a 12 year old child, he would.

ESMOD's picture

So here's the thing, when he actually does have his birthday in January.. doesn't he have SCHOOL friends he would have a party with.

In the grand scheme of things it all works out in the wash.

These campground kids never get to have a party with their school friends.. and never get gifts from THEM either.

I think the motive to make your kid feel special is fine.. on his birthday with his friends at home in the winter.

If he wants to host a fun party at the campground..fine, but he should clearly NOT be expecting gifts from these kids.

steppingback's picture

Explain the situation to the parents of the summer gang. I would totally understand and be glad to give a present. How many presents have you paid for over the years? A reasonable person would understand.

ESMOD's picture

Oh.. please DON'T. They are likely buying gifts all year for kids their children go to school with who have birthdays during the year and I am fairly certain they aren't throwing "half" birthday parties so that their kids get the chance to break even with those specific children! Those parents are more likely to just start EXCLUDING the boy from their parties so they won't have to partake in the scorekeeping of gifts.

This is so much a "snowflake" issue.

secret's picture

well, it is true though... what you're suggesting is that most parents would understand that a kid is sad his birthday doesn't fall in the summer, so they'll buy him a gift just because?

I'd be highly offended if someone asked me to get a gift for their kid because their kid is sad their birthday doesn't fall at the right time.

just no. It's a gift grab.

Teach the kid that life doesn't always go the way you want it to be, and that he shouldn't get a birthday party just because everyone around him is. That truly is an entitled snowflake attitude.

secret's picture

lol, birthdays here are end of summer... the day before halloween...and Dec 28... sooo.... they all get shafted one way or the other.

Life's a peach.

TexasPickles's picture

Agreed. If you want to have a party do so. But to ask for bithday gifts...meh. Seems a bit tacky.

ESMOD's picture

I don't see it as a dark attitude.

Kids with summer birthdays at this campground have parties but their "regular" friends can't come because they are off other places.. so they invite their summer camp friends.

Kids with fall and winter birthdays can have parties during the school year with their regular friends.. but not their summer friends.

So Winter BDay buys a gift and attends party for Summer birthday. Summer birthday attends parties and buys for other kids with winter birthdays but not the "same" one. Winter Birthday gets to throw parties for his school friends who buy him gifts.

It's just a big round robin.

lucy girl's picture

ESMOD- you don't know my SS's full story so please don't call this a "snowflake"issue or "scorekeeping" of gifts, as it is most certainly not the case.

ESMOD's picture

So explain the full story.

Does he not have ANY friends at his school? Does he not attend school.. or church..?

Is summer the ONLY time he ever is around kids his age?

The bottom line is it should be possible for him to have a birthday party near his birthday with kids that are around during that time. They may not be the SAME kids that are at the campground.. but he does have a chance to be "special" and get gifts then. He doesn't need to have a SECOND party during the summer just because he is going to a string of parties for kids that have the bad luck to have their birthdays during the summer when none of their regular friends can be around!

If there is some extenuating circumstance, by all means, please let us know. However, if you came to me as another parent and said you wanted to throw your child a party because he has been going to mine and gave mine a present.. and you expect me to buy him a present because his birthday is not convenient.. that would seem to me an awful lot like score keeping with the gifts.

ksmom14's picture

Since as you explained above, SS doesn't really have a party on his actual birthday because of his lack of friends where y'all live, I think it's fine to do a half birthday.

I would either explain to the parents of the summer group, or simply write something on the invitation. Something along the lines of "This year SS has decided to wait to celebrate his birthday so that he can celebrate with all his summer friends" or something with that idea, explaining that he didn't have a party for his regular birthday (so it doesn't look like you're having 2 parties).

If he was having a birthday party on his birthday, I would say it's not appropriate to have a second one, but if this is INSTEAD of a regular birthday I see nothing wrong with it. If the parents of the kids y'all invite feel it's rude or "gift grabbing" (which I don't think it is), they don't have to let their kid attend.

secret's picture

How about suggesting to the campground that they do one large party for the kids who have birthdays in the off season?

ESMOD's picture

This is probably the best solution since it wouldn't be singling out just one kid.

TBH... having to point out to other parents that the kid doesn't have any friends at home would probably be embarrassing for the boy.

justkeepstepping's picture

A half birthday party....No. I seriously know one person who does the half birthday thing. She also calls the month she was born her birthday month and then birthday week. She's like 25 flipping years old with 2 kids and expects to be showered and have special attention because that's what her parents did. She literally cried when she found out my birthday was the day after hers because it "ruined everything" :?

Why don't just jet let him have some sort of a summer blowout party. I wouldn't call it a half birthday. Half birthdays are absurd.

Maxwell09's picture

Cute idea but no. If you want to have a party for him than do it. Just say it's his party he's throwing for his friends. Are gifts really necessary? If so then why can't y'all just get him something but I mean a big party is a gift in itself when it isn't even his real birthday. So, a party yes but a "half-birthday" is overkill. He doesn't need one just because all the other kids have a summer birthday. Life isn't fair don't try to make it seem that way because you'll set yourself up for problems later.