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Who bought the car?

Toastergirl's picture

For those with teenage SK's who have cars:

Which parent bought it? Which pays insurance? Who has the most time?

Does your SK lie about where they are and go back to BM's house?

I think that when my SD is 16 she will goad my DH into buying her a car, and SD will leave here on weekends to "go to friends" or "run errands" and spend the weekend at Dr. Evil's.

Glassslipper's picture

You made me laugh out loud at work with the bumper sticker!!!
I would change it to "StepMom and Dad helped me buy this car!"

twopines's picture

SS bought his own vehicle and paid the insurance premiums. I don't know if BM helped SD purchase her first car, but I know DH didn't contribute any $$.

furkidsforme's picture

I was the youngest of three, and I had to buy my own car and my own insurance. I think Mom and Dad helped me out with paying my first insurance premium as a birthday gift. I did fine, kept my grades up, no problems. Never had a serious accident.

My DH has bought each of his SKids a car, AND paid insurance. Guess who has each totaled a car? The SKids. One totaled two of them.

I think there is a connection here.

Shaman29's picture


Skid had small inheritance from paternal grandmother. H allowed her to use it to pay for a car. He paid insurance. She had it for about a year, unfortunately it blew up the week after he and I separated (January 2014). He co-signed a vehicle for skid with payments that are nearly the same as our new car.


The entire last year, while working on our marriage, H paid for car and insurance. This month skid takes over half the payment of both. He's paying the other half and will continue to do so unless she doesn't attend college. Then all bets are off and she pays for the entire thing or he sells it.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Her High B***hness better think again if she thinks DH will contribute to her getting a drivers license or a car! Girl thinks she is entitled when she turns 16 in two months! We have made it clear that we will not help her as she has recently proven disregard for the law (got picked up by cops for sneaking out after county curfew to meet guys). Girl has also been in trouble several time over the last few years (yes, she started young) for alcohol, skipping school, and smoking pot! Yeah...she thinks she should be allowed to drive at 16!!!

She recently moved out of our house back to BM's when we came down on her for the curfew thing. BM's problem now! If she wants to put her in a car...her problem, and she deals with the consequences!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I'm certain of it! I didn't even trust her to not try to drive without a license!! Made sure to keep my keys by my bedside and never lying around the house. I'm a light way she was going to get my keys!

She was flat out told that she wouldn't get her license under this roof after her latest trouble. That is probably a big reason she convinced BM to let her move back. BM has already tried to get more money out of DH for child support saying that she promised certain things to the girl. My bet is that a license and a car is somewhere in those promises, and BM expects DH to foot the bill! No where in the court order is it stated that the girl is entitled to drive before minor is! Driving is a privilege! Any parent who puts an irresponsible child behind the wheel is irresponsible themselves! My bios didn't get to drive just because they came of age...they drove when I felt they were mature enough and responsible enough for such a responsibility!

Too many parents out there rush to get their kids driving at 16 because they are tired of playing taxi! They don't stop to assess if their child is truly ready. Do they have the self control to ignore their phones while driving? How are they in school? Do they do their work? Do they have many office referrals? How can you expect a minor who does not pay attention to their school work or school rules to pay attention to the rules of the road? If my bios wanted to drive, they had to be passing all their classes, no referrals in school, and they had to follow the rules of my home. My SD couldn't even follow our rules...pick up after yourself, don't use certain mobile and computer apps, no electronics in the bathroom during showers, no leaving the house without permission, etc...very basic rules for a teenager! Oh...and most importantly...OBEY THE LAW!

Calypso1977's picture

sadly our BM would say that SD getting a license/car will contribute to her "happiness". and of course, we ALL KNOW its imperative that these precious little gems be HAPPY at ALL TIMES and get whatever they desire.

Somuchdrama's picture

SS17 can't get a license because he is failing in high school so we don't have to worry about that one. We originally planned to help out but his choices have led him to ride with parents for who knows how long.

Rags's picture

My bride was the CP for the entire duration of our 17+ year CO. We bought the Skid a new car when he was 18 as a combo HS Graduation, Christmas, Birthday, USAF enlistment gift. The Sperm Clan paid shit for nothing and even gave the Skid shit that he had a new car and none of them ever had owned a new car.

We would have gladly paid for his college at any college he chose to attend but he decided he was not ready to study, that going to college at that time would be a waste of our money, and was tired of being our live in back and call boy/chore bitch so he enlisted. In a wonderful case of parental justice Karma the USAF forced him to go to college on their dime. His ASVAB scores were so high and of a specific score distribution that they gave him only once choice of job that required a 6 year enlistment. He has informed us that he intends to re-enlist until he makes 20 years and can retire.... if he decides not to apply for the commissioning program.

At least in our case the kid is an amazing product of the character and example his mom and I have set for him and required him to live up to our expectations for his behavior and performance. Unlike the Sperm Clan who are a bunch of whining toothless morons.

He lived full time with his mom and I and visited Sperm Land on the court ordered visitation schedule. 5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring. The visitation schedule began when he was 2yo.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

I am dealing with this dilemma right now... as in today. My almost 18yo son needs a car to drive to work and run errands after school. My old car just died. The car insurance ( 2.5K for my son alone) was covered by me and DH. My son pays for gas and occasional repairs. Now what?

My ex is of the opinion - expressed to my son by his dad and a very controlling SM - that for as long as he lives with mom, dad is not supposed to be paying for any extras. My DH and I are fed up with my ex taking advantage of us. We all lead a middle class life style, both families have similar incomes. DH pays CS for his youngest child. My boys' SM has one daughter, aged 34 with kids of her own. Who should buy the car for my boys? My CS is a few hundred a month per kid. If we buy it, as we have just done, it is all on us. So my DH ends up contributing A LOT to my kids' well-being, more than his share. I contribute more than my ex.
Ex, however, travels internationally and goes to Disney World - without the boys. That just blows my mind.

z3girl's picture

DH bought the car, and paid for insurance for the first year and a half. He also paid for all maintenance. SD had 2 accidents during that time. At that point, we only saw SD a handful of times per year. DH said the original (verbal) agreement was that he'd buy the car and BM would insure it. She refused after he bought the car. After SD went to college, he signed the car over to SD and left it up to BM and SD to figure out all costs associated with it.

I don't miss those days!

Rags's picture

Make sure title has transferred to SD. You could still have liability if she injures or kills someone (she is bipolar and you and DH know it and provided her with the car) or damages someone's property.

Calypso1977's picture

we've already had the discussion that SD14 will NOT be getting a car from us nor will she be allowed to use our cars. She just isnt responsible. We dont even think she should have a license at 16, but im sure BM will get her one. Good luck to her!

Child SUpport can cover that stuff if BM thinks its pertinent or SD14 can get a -gasp- JOB and pay for it herself.

Rags's picture

We bought the kid a new car 4 years ago. We are getting ready to transfer title to him. We have paid the unsurance since we gave it too him and continue to do so while it is in my name. When he chose to move off base we told him that if he made the move he would have to pick up his own insurance costs. He moved anyway. Welcome to a $3K/yr bill kid-oh. Being 22 it is not cheap to insure yourself to drive.

B22S22's picture

I bought my DD17 a car. I did it because I also have a DS14 who is in sports, and DD17 works. It's really difficult to get them both places, on opposite sides of the city, at the same time.

If DD17 didn't work, she wouldn't need a car. And there are times when she's run errands for me because I couldn't, and I'm very grateful for that. Also, on top of working and school, she does a lot of stuff at home to help me out.

So, I "gave" her a car that I paid cash for. But she's doing a lot of stuff in return.