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WHY enable any kid, not just stepkids?

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Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 03/26/2015 - 10:56am

This bugs me a lot, but it seems to be more pervasive here.

Why does it seem many parents, particularly those with "CODs," don't seem to want their kids to launch and be productive members of society?

Case in point is someone else's blog about giving a SD who's about to turn 16 money for her car/gas/insurance.

My SD is 22 and BM still pays her car insurance. DH lets her use our Netflix account. In fact (another topic entirely), there are three profiles on there: DH, our kids and SD. It's like I don't exist. :jawdrop:

I about fell out of my chair this weekend

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Submitted by Elizabeth on Mon, 03/23/2015 - 9:47am

Oh if I could go back and do it all over again and not marry a man with a kid. How naive I was to think everything would be OK in the end.

Not a big thing, but just one more element of dealing with stepparent crap:

Dh took our two BDs to see SD22 a couple of weekends ago. Our BDs probably only see her max twice a year for a few hours at a time at the most. This was a brief visit, they weren't around her more than 4 hours total.

She's got it down to a fine art

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Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 03/12/2015 - 3:17pm

It took me a bit to put two and two together because I don't think this way, but about a week ago DH told me SD21 was coming down to near where we live to see her grandfather and DH wanted to take our kids to see her. Fine.

(Point to clarify, we live 5 hours from SD21 and she didn't even bother to come down for her grandmother's funeral.)

About to choke on the damn double standard

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Submitted by Elizabeth on Mon, 02/09/2015 - 12:14pm

So oldest BD (mine and DH's) had her first school dance last week. Middle school. Admission was $5.

Dh actually said to me and BD11, "That's kind of pricy for a school dance, isn't it?"

:jawdrop: :?

I couldn't help it. I shouldn't have, but I said, "Hmmm, you can spend hundreds of dollars on prom for SD but $5 is too much for BD11 to go to a dance?"

And then he started pontificating about how it was different because SD's prom was at a nice place (BD11's dance was in the school gym). But Dh paid for SD's dress, nails, hair, etc.

Asshole behavior every day

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Submitted by Elizabeth on Fri, 01/23/2015 - 3:39pm

DH has been PMSing big time lately. I am 99% sure it has something to do with SD21 but I haven't even bothered to check it out. Why should I? He's a grown man, he should be able to separate whatever emotions she is stirring up and not take them out on me. Ha! In my dreams.

He has been a total jerkwad the past few days, and then he has the nerve to ask me for sex. He says I withhold sex to punish him, but it's hard to get in the mood when someone is treating you like crap. KWIM?

OMG, why the heck would he SAY this?! (O/T)

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Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 01/08/2015 - 3:14pm

I posted on Facebook about how people get behind the wheel of acar and think they can act like assholes. Yes, I used that word. I am not a cusser. I don't cuss in real life. Ask my kids, I've probably maybe cussed in front of them once or twice in their entire lives. By contrast, oldest BD was only 2 when she properly used the F word in a sentence as an adjective, thanks to DH's potty mouth. I cussed on Facebook only for emphasis. My kids are not on Facebook, they will not see the post.

How do you get over the jealousy?

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Submitted by Elizabeth on Fri, 01/02/2015 - 9:03am

It is a bit wrenching for me to admit that I am jealous of SD21, but here it is.

I am jealous because, it seems, my DH loves her above all else. Even after all these years and the crappy way she has treated him and how good I have been to him, she still seems to be No. 1.

Example:
SD21 took a long trip to California over Christmas break this year. I of course was told nothing about this.

But I discovered DH bought her a three-piece set of luggage for this trip. (while I have to make due with old luggage pieces that don't match for any trip I might take)

The point of Christmas is ... taking?

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Submitted by Elizabeth on Tue, 12/30/2014 - 10:28am

So I found out (not by being told by my DH, you can be sure of that) that this year SD21 "gifted" herself with a week-long Christmas trip to California. Yay for her! Except DH bought her a set of luggage to take with her and he was booking the hotel for her, which probably means he at least "helped" pay for it.

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