I do every time I see "functional" step families. It also makes me sad.
I have a friend who had a mom and stepmom. Her mom passed away, as has her father, and the (former) stepmom has really stepped into the mom role with her. Today the stepmom posted on Facebook something like "I know your mom loved you very, very much and I do too."
Isn't it great SOME people can get to that point? I never will.
DH and BD12 went to SD23's graduation ceremony. As far as I know they had tickets, it was outside and I've only seen one picture of SD23 taken before the ceremony and from very far away.
SD23 called to talk to BD9 the morning of the graduation but it was the weirdest conversation. She asked what BD9 was doing, BD9 told her, and SD23 said, "Well, I'll let you go back to what you were doing." End of conversation. I don't think BD9 knew what to think of it. I suppose SD23 was just placating DH by talking to her, or trying to prove she has a "good" relationship with BD9.
BD12 went with DH and BD9 stayed here with me.
When BD9 was crying in the hallway about having to make an impossible decision, I took matters into my own hands and told her to just stay with me. We did a benefits of each option list and staying with me won out. Plus I found out the ONLY reason she really wanted to go with DH was that he promised to take her swimming at the hotel he'd booked.
It will probably be good for each kid to have some one-on-one time with a parent.
So SD23 is graduating from college Saturday. DH wants BDs 12 and 9 to accompany him, it's a 5-hour drive one way.
BD9 is sad because she wants to spend Mother's Day with me but also wants to go see SD23. AND, DH just informed me he's made plans that require him to pull our kids out of school on Friday to travel to SD23's town.
But BD9 has a field trip that day. DH says she can't go.
SD23 is graduating with a BGS, Bachelor of General Studies. What the hell is that and what does it qualify you to do once you graduate?
DH brought a new one up today: He wants to pull both kids out of school the Friday before graduation. Don't know that I'm too happy about that one.
I asked if he'd gotten an invitation. He said yes. I didn't even bother to ask if my name was on it. I'm sure it was not. I asked if he'd gotten tickets. "No. I'm sure SD23 has those." Um, yeah. I told him there was no way he was taking our kids on a 5-hour drive one way if he didn't have the tickets. So of course now he has to contact SD23 about that.
You have to understand DH, he rarely comes directly at a situation, instead tries to approach it sideways or not at all.
So, SD23 is graduating college shortly.
When DH and I married, he asked me to agree to a rule that neither of us would spend more than $100 without consulting the other first. I think he got burned previously. I agreed.
Just yesterday DH brings up buying something and I remind him of that rule, and suddenly, he no longer wants that to be a rule!
This morning, as I'm trying to get ready for work, of all times.
Told me he wanted to take our two BDs. I asked him if he'd noticed what date that is (Mother's Day weekend). He said he hadn't until yesterday.
I then asked if he'd received an invitation. No.
I then asked about tickets. "I'm sure SD has them."
But is he going to get any? "I'm sure I am."
Do you have house rules for your kids when they are home alone? I do, they are unwritten, so BD12 likes to violate ALL of them and pretend she never knew.
Latest is having a friend over when I have told her 20 times no friends over when an adult is not at home. It's a liability. We have a large dog, BD12 is not good at following the rules and gets worse when she has a friend around. It's just not worth it. But she asked DH and he said "Of course! I want to be your best friend and not a (ick) parent!"
DH just sent me the notice (not an invitation) for SD23's college graduation. I'm glad she's graduating after five years, but...
It's the day before Mother's Day. It's a five-hour drive one way from our house. It's in the late afternoon.
DH of course will want to go. He will want to take our two BDs and will probably expect me to go (provided SD actually invites me). I'd rather spent Mother's Day with my mother and my children, not traveling to the graduation of a "child" who has not spoken to me for the past five years.
What to do?