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Asshole behavior every day

Elizabeth's picture

DH has been PMSing big time lately. I am 99% sure it has something to do with SD21 but I haven't even bothered to check it out. Why should I? He's a grown man, he should be able to separate whatever emotions she is stirring up and not take them out on me. Ha! In my dreams.

He has been a total jerkwad the past few days, and then he has the nerve to ask me for sex. He says I withhold sex to punish him, but it's hard to get in the mood when someone is treating you like crap. KWIM?

The latest two:
Last night, DH noticed the cat is clawing up the carpet we had installed in our bedroom about six months ago. This is only because the transition strip between the living room and bedroom has not been put down. I say this. You know what DH says? "Well, I'm not the one who pulled it up." Are ... you ... kidding ... me?! Yes, I pulled it up but that's because we HAD to so the carpet installers could remove the old carpet and put in the new, and I was the one at home doing that work. So DH was saying I should put the transition strip back down. And so he was refusing to do it because I hadn't. I didn't even know that! He was basically seeing who could be more stubborn, except I wasn't playing the game. It's down now, but geez!

The night before that, I was using one of the two cell phone chargers in our bedroom, I come in and DH had unplugged my phone and plugged his in. He does this once in a while and it ticks me off. So I said something about 1. unplugging my phone (which is rude) and 2. there's a second charger in the room, why can't he just use that? No answer, except to inform me that BOTH of the chargers in our bedroom were his and I'm not to use them. What ... the ... hell?! Yes I have a charger, I keep it in the car because somebody (often DH) needs to charge their phone while we're driving. I brought mine inside and now will only use it, but good luck to him next time he's in the car and his phone runs down. What a jerk!

Does anybody else put up with petty stupid crap like this? He does it in cycles, like I said, usually when he's upset with SD21 about something. He should come with a warning label: "SD21 just pissed me off, now I'm going to take it out on you."

Comments

Elizabeth's picture

I know. It's amazing. And he actually professes not to understand why any of this would upset me. I've arrived at the conclusion that there's simply something wrong with his brain. That's all I've got!

Oh, and I've told him before he acts like a 4-year-old boy and that made him really mad, but it's true! I didn't break it, I'm not going to fix it and You can't touch my stuff.

Elizabeth's picture

He doesn't do it ALL the time, but when he gets on a roll it's a constant thing. And I didn't even mention when we got into a discussion this morning and he's trying to escalate it and I just said, "Never mind, I'm not going to get in an argument with you. It's not worth it." And he started mocking me, repeating back what I said. What grown adult does that crap?

misSTEP's picture

I would tell him that if he can't act like a MAN, maybe he needs to spend more time with ADULTS and less time with CHILDREN like his daughter. Yes, I know she is technically an adult. But he hasn't got the memo.

z3girl's picture

I've asked my DH in the past to let me know if he's had contact with either SD or BM so that I know it's not my fault if he's in a mood on those days. He never bothered, but it would have helped.

I've recently told my DH that I'm tired of being blamed for everything wrong in his life, and if I'm so terrible, then we should just go our separate ways. I've never said anything like that to him before. it gave me a solid month of good behavior on his part.

Is it insecurity that makes these men need to blame the person they should feel closest to?

Elizabeth's picture

Regarding your question, I really don't know. DH tells me it is my fault he acts the way he does but I KNOW that is not true. And then he turned the story of the charger around in his mind so that in his mind now it was ME who unplugged HIS phone from the charger and I was rude. Hello!!! You unplugged MY phone but in your mind YOU were not rude?!