So DP was gone all day on Saturday, which left me doing all the errands and some chores and with the SDs all day. This was not planned - I expected him to be gone in the morning but return early afternoon. He didn't get back until dinner. He's been stressed the last week with work so he decided to go on a long bicycle ride (which he does from time to time but he needs to TELL me if he's going on a long one and usually it's when the SDs aren't with us).

...DP says to me, after I get home from the grocery store (with his credit card since I had to do a large trip that involved food for SDs, which I don't pay for any longer)..."It's kind of expensive shopping for them isn't it?"

DING DING DING!

Then he started discussing with me what SD11 eats (the most expensive, processed stuff because she won't eat anything else...which is another story not just "picky" eating and which he doesn't want to talk about...) and what SD9 eats (pre-prepared crap vs. basically anything I cook).

For SD11.

The rule has been laundry in your laundry basket and I'll do it (I like doing laundry, hate vacuuming so DP and I struck a deal) - this includes DP.

SD9 has been great about it from the start.
SD11 was good until about a month ago.
Last week, there were three socks a pair of underwear and one pair of leggings after a stay of 5 days with us - the rest of it all over her floor. Room getting messier.

So DP said the other day, "Yeah it's reaching critical mass with SD11 and cleaning."
She's spending more time here and more time alone here with zero responsibility. I've made it clear I am not a maid and have been doing well NOT helping with her mess.

Today DP comes upstairs with his arms full of glassware from SDs rooms. Me, "What are you doing? That's their stuff they need to clean it not you. How in the world are they supposed to learn if you keep doing it for them...oh 'daddy will do it no big deal...'" DP, "yes you are right I've got to stop that."