Well I stuck to my word finally. I have been telling DH for years that I was done doing Christmas, bdays, Easter etc for SD. I finally stuck to my word. SD's bday came and went and I did nothing. No party, no cake, no cooking, no presents. SD's bday was on Saturday, MIL called on Sunday to tell us that we were all going to dinner to celebrate SD's bday. DH went and got the card and stopped and got a gift card on the way to dinner. SD got a $50 gift card this year. That $50 gift card is nothing compared to years past.
So SD's bday came and went. The day before her bday my MIL showed up unannounced at something we had planned for BD. BD is not even 2 yet and is just starting to talk. After our event MIL says let's go to dinner. I reluctantly went to avoid an argument with DH. The minute we walk in MIL says to BD "do you know how to sing yet? You need to learn how to sing b/c we need to sing Happy birthday to sissy, happy birthday to sissy, happy birthday dear sweet sissy happy birthday to sissy." I'm pretty sure steam started to come out of my ears. Why? Why the need to say something like that?
SD's bday is tomorrow. In years past we've had a bday party with our families for SD, which always included me cooking a meal of her choice, getting a cake, gifts and inviting both DH & my family to our house. I haven't even brought it up her bday to DH this year. Since I'm blocked on all social media, I haven't seen this but a family member told me she posted a meme that read "I don't understand why when you get older your family stops giving you money for your bday. Like I need money more now than I did when I was little, I'm starving Susan." This has now become her annual post.
We went to dinner with my MIL last night. For the most part we get along, she has her annoyances but I know it's my husband's mom so I pretty much tolerate it. As we are getting ready to leave MIL says to DH "so what are you getting SD for xmas this year?" He responds with "I have no idea." She then looks directly at me and says "and what about you? What do you plan on getting for SD?" I responded back with "I have no idea I haven't spoken nor seen SD in about 6 months so no clue." MIL then says "did you ever think about picking up the phone and calling her to find out what she wants
I posted yesterday about when to cut Skids off. SD will be19 in less than a month. I would have no issue paying for the necessities and help her along the way if she was doing what was expected of her. Here is a little backstory:
1. DH & I have a joint checking account. We both work. I actually make more money than DH. Both of our paychecks go into one checking account.
At what point do you cut the Skids off? We still pay some of SD18 (soon to be 19) bills, 1/2 of her health insurance, 1/2 of her birth control, 1/2 of her medical office visits, glasses, contacts etc. Every month BM sends us a spreadsheet of what we owe her. We do not pay support as she is 18 but DH being the person he is, still pays her "necessities". DH & I have a joint checking account therefore my hard earned money goes to SD monthly. Maybe if SD was a productive member of society I would feel differently. SD barely graduated high school and is not going to college. She is w
DH shows me a text this weekend from SD. It was a photo from something at work (she works for him) and the caption is "What the F**K is going on in this F**king place". DH thought it was hiliarious. I didn't think it was. I told him it was disrespectful of her to use those words with him. I said how do you allow her to talk to you like that? He said "She not swearing at me"
This weekend we were at our lakehouse and SD showed up unannouced. Well at least to me, I'm sure DH knew she was coming but never told me. I was cordial to her, I said hello and asked how she was but then went on with my day. We had company so we were busy entertaining. Later on we took her, her friend and the other kids out for a boat ride, again everything was fine. Afterwards we were over at the grill cooking dinner for everyone and I noticed her and her friend were was sitting in the back yard smoking. I just nicely asked DH to please ask her if she is going to smoke, to walk awa
So this morning I'm sitting at work and I get a text message. It's from SD. She writes "Dad told me it was your birthday. I am so sorry I missed it. I have no idea how that happened. Hope you had a wonderful day and I love you." WTF? How much did DH pay her for that? Did DH tell her I was done with birthday's and Christmas?
I am sticking by my word and I will not do birthday's or Christmas for her this year.
Well my birthday came and went without acknowledgement from the stepkids. I know SD and I have a strained relationship but I'm still hurt. It just gives me reason to further distance myself. I say it every year, I'm done with birthday's and Christmas for her and this time I mean it. I've always made birthday's special in our house.