Ok so do I have a right to feel upset? DH & I have joint checking/joint savings/credit cards. I handle all the finances in our house and I work very hard to keep everything in check. DH insisted on having CASH to buy Xmas gifts for me so he didn't have to charge my gifts b/c I would see the charges. He took said cash but still charged ALL of my Christmas gifts. When I asked him where the cash went to he says he bought SD a gas card for Xmas and then gave her some cash for Xmas on top of the items he purchased for her with the credit card. He said the rest of the money he just blew
SD19 is so rude and disrespectful I just can't even handle it. I had to say something to DH on Christmas Eve and I didn't care if it started an arguement. As we are sitting there Christmas Eve with MIL & FIL SD is sitting there next to her grandma vapping while opening Christmas presents. Seriously you need to vape that bad that you can't take an few minutes out of your morning to open Christmas presents with your family without vapping? I said something to DH about it and as I said something to DH grandma finally had enough and told her to put it away. She didn't like that so she
So over the weekend I sat down with DH and I told him "By now I'm sure you can see that I haven't done anything for SD for Xmas and I didn't do anything for her bday." I said "I just want you to understand why. I just can't take the lack of respect she has and her attitude toward me." He told me that it destroys him that I am acting this way and if he can change one thing about his life it would be the relationship I have with his daughter. He continued to tell me how he doesn't understand how nothing she does makes me happy and nothing she can do will ever change my opinion of her. I
I was just talking with my mom today and earlier this month she gave DH a card with a cash gift for SD for her bday. SD never reached out to my mom or my dad to tell them thank you for the gift. No text message, phone call or thank you card. I didn't expect her to mail a thank you card but I did expect her to pick up the phone and call and say thank you or at least text them.
Well I stuck to my word finally. I have been telling DH for years that I was done doing Christmas, bdays, Easter etc for SD. I finally stuck to my word. SD's bday came and went and I did nothing. No party, no cake, no cooking, no presents. SD's bday was on Saturday, MIL called on Sunday to tell us that we were all going to dinner to celebrate SD's bday. DH went and got the card and stopped and got a gift card on the way to dinner. SD got a $50 gift card this year. That $50 gift card is nothing compared to years past.
So SD's bday came and went. The day before her bday my MIL showed up unannounced at something we had planned for BD. BD is not even 2 yet and is just starting to talk. After our event MIL says let's go to dinner. I reluctantly went to avoid an argument with DH. The minute we walk in MIL says to BD "do you know how to sing yet? You need to learn how to sing b/c we need to sing Happy birthday to sissy, happy birthday to sissy, happy birthday dear sweet sissy happy birthday to sissy." I'm pretty sure steam started to come out of my ears. Why? Why the need to say something like that?
SD's bday is tomorrow. In years past we've had a bday party with our families for SD, which always included me cooking a meal of her choice, getting a cake, gifts and inviting both DH & my family to our house. I haven't even brought it up her bday to DH this year. Since I'm blocked on all social media, I haven't seen this but a family member told me she posted a meme that read "I don't understand why when you get older your family stops giving you money for your bday. Like I need money more now than I did when I was little, I'm starving Susan." This has now become her annual post.
We went to dinner with my MIL last night. For the most part we get along, she has her annoyances but I know it's my husband's mom so I pretty much tolerate it. As we are getting ready to leave MIL says to DH "so what are you getting SD for xmas this year?" He responds with "I have no idea." She then looks directly at me and says "and what about you? What do you plan on getting for SD?" I responded back with "I have no idea I haven't spoken nor seen SD in about 6 months so no clue." MIL then says "did you ever think about picking up the phone and calling her to find out what she wants
I posted yesterday about when to cut Skids off. SD will be19 in less than a month. I would have no issue paying for the necessities and help her along the way if she was doing what was expected of her. Here is a little backstory:
1. DH & I have a joint checking account. We both work. I actually make more money than DH. Both of our paychecks go into one checking account.
At what point do you cut the Skids off? We still pay some of SD18 (soon to be 19) bills, 1/2 of her health insurance, 1/2 of her birth control, 1/2 of her medical office visits, glasses, contacts etc. Every month BM sends us a spreadsheet of what we owe her. We do not pay support as she is 18 but DH being the person he is, still pays her "necessities". DH & I have a joint checking account therefore my hard earned money goes to SD monthly. Maybe if SD was a productive member of society I would feel differently. SD barely graduated high school and is not going to college. She is w